Growing number of students looking for 'sugar daddies' (From Daily Echo)
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Growing number of students in Southampton looking for 'sugar daddies'
4:40pm Thursday 17th May 2012 in Education
By Sally Churchward, Senior Feature Writer
Growing number of students looking for 'sugar daddies'. Picture posed by models.
HARD-UP students used to work part-time in bars and pubs to help clear their growing debts.
But times have changed.
Now increasing numbers of young women are choosing an alternative way to make ends meet: being paid by rich “sugar daddies” to go on dates with them.
Some “sugar babies” are earning thousands of pounds a month for entering into relationships with wealthy men, the Daily Echo can reveal.
And young male students are also getting in on the act – and being paid by “sugar mummies”.
Willing students are meeting their potential suitors on controversial “sugar daddy”
websites which have been criticised by women’s groups for exposing vulnerable young people to exploitation.
But one website – SeekingArrangement – disputes the claims and says 35 per cent of the site’s 50,000 UK members are now students.
One was Emma (not her real name) from the University of Southampton, who tried the site after graduating last summer £32,000 in debt.
Emma, 22, who was paid £2,500 a month to date a man she met on the website, said: “I had no chance of paying any of the debt back in the short termwhile I tried to forge a stable career for myself. A friend from college had tried one of these sites and encouraged me to give it a go because she knew that I had always been attracted to older men. I was extremely reluctant but I thought I would give it a go.
She added: “I wasn’t going to sleep with anyone I didn’t like or fancy – that was a clear rule right from the start. I met a range of men who on the whole were charming, funny and great company.
“It took me about a month to find the man I was looking for – basically someone I would have dated anyway, regardless of meeting him on a sugar daddy site.”
“He was in his late 40s and making several million a year. He took me to some amazing places including a perfect weekend at Raymond Blanc’s Le Manoir Aux Quat ’Saisons. We went to Paris and stayed at the Hotel de Crillon which has to be seen to be believed. At New Year he took me to the hotel Regina Baglioni in Rome.
How it works
YOU might like your date to treat you to dinner or some gifts.
But how would you feel about agreeing a fee of thousands of pounds for them to date you?
That’s what controversial website SeekingArrangement offers.
Like conventional dating websites, members list their age, appearance, interests and what they are looking for alongside a picture of themselves.
But among those details is how much they expect to be paid for dating – in the case of ‘sugar babies’ – or how much they are prepared to shell out for someone to go out with them – in the case of ‘sugar daddies’ and ‘mummies’.
I remember seeing in 2012 drinking champagne in front of the Trevi Fountain and thinking ‘this is the life’.”
She adds: “We entered into what the website calls a ‘mutually beneficial arrangement’.
We were boyfriend and girlfriend but I was paid £2,500 a month, which was more than enough to cover my bills while I pursued my career in film.
“We saw each other for six months while I acquired the skills which enabled me to get a full-time job. In the end it fizzled out and we split up amicably but I have no regrets about going on the site.”
According to Seeking- Arrangement, more and more students are looking for ways to tackle debts.
The phenomenon of ‘sugar daddy’ websites began in America but SeekingArrangement owner Brandon Wade has brought his business model to the UK and is making the most of the student market.
In fact, the company has published figures showing that the University of Southampton has the fifth highest number of female students signing up to the service in the UK.
They did not have figures available for the number of male students signing up.
While the University of Southampton has taken fifth place in Seeking- Arrangement’s sign ups, it only had some 43 people, out of a student population of some 23,000.
But the site is keen to recruit more students who are automatically upgraded to a ‘premium account’ and given a certified ‘college sugar babe’ stamp on their profile, which brings in three times more responses.
The National Union of Students recently reported that an increasing number of students were also turning to prostitution, taking part in medical experiments and gambling to cope with the rising cost of a university education.
How the site defines clients
“SUGAR DADDY: The modern sugar daddy is a successful and generous man who is willing to pamper and offer financial help or gifts to a young person in return for friendship and companionship.”
“SUGAR MUMMY: The modern sugar mummy is a successful and generous woman who is willing to pamper and offer financial help or gifts to a young person in return for friendship and companionship.”
“SUGAR BABY: A sugar baby is an attractive, ambitious and goaloriented individual who has a lot to offer. He or she is generally younger and is looking to meet wealthy, successful and generous people who are willing to pamper and offer financial assistance or gifts in return for their friendship or companionship.”
And it seems that an increasing number are also turning to “sugar daddies/mummies”.
SeekingArrnement encourages its members to enter into “mutually beneficial arrangements” which, it says, promotes honesty.
While this can include a fee of thousands of pounds a month paid by the “sugar daddy/mummy” for dates, what else might be expected for this fee is unclear.
Young women have described how they were expected to have sex with their “dates” and said that they felt obliged to do so.
One former “sugar babe” – 24-year-old Natalie from Staffordshire – said: “I had a few dates through it because I wanted to meet a different type of man but lots of them just saw it as a high-class hooker service.”
But CEO Brendan Wade strongly defends his site.
He said: “A mutually beneficial arrangement is simply an alternative kind of relationship, where both parties agree on the circumstances ahead of time.”
“It is not a contract, more of an understanding between two people of what they can expect from each other, and what they cannot. The two people usually discuss how the relationship will work, if it will be casual or no strings attached. They will probably cover monogamy, monthly allowances, etc.”
He argues that the “arrangements” are not the same as an escort service.
Although it is clear that money is expected to change hands, he said: “SeekingArrangement is a dating website, our members are not looking for a transactional experience. They are building relationships. It’s an alternative lifestyle that is not for everyone, but we are completely different than an escort service.
“As with any form of dating, sex usually becomes a part of the equation somewhere down the line. Yes, some of our members have sex with each other, but that usually only happens after they have gotten to know one another and have found that they have chemistry.
“There is no payment for sex. Any member who is attempting to use our site for this purpose will be immediately kicked off once reported.”
He added that many prostitutes may operate as escorts in order to ‘go around the laws’.
He said: “By calling it payment for an hour of companionship, and then saying that two consenting adults can do whatever they want within that hour does not make it any more legal.”
Some SeekingArrangement users have reported being paid per date.
But Mr Wade said: “On SeekingArrangement.com, those seeking hour or two hour long arrangements are not permitted.”
Meanwhile Brendon Wade, who started his company in 2006, is grateful to for the hike in university fees.
“Your new tuition fees have been great for business.” he said. “We’ve had a huge influx of beautiful, highly educated young women.”
The University of Southampton and Solent University declined to comment while the Student Unions at both failed to return the Daily Echo’s calls.
Women’s groups condemn the sites
UNSURPRISINGLY, sites like SeekingArrangement have come in for criticism.
Kate Banyard from UK organisation Women’s Support Project said: “The sugar daddies phenomena is based on inequality where rich older men can pay to have younger women spend ‘time’ with them.
“We should be concerned about the potential for abuse and exploitation which comes with this combination of money and economic vulnerability.”
Anna van Heeswijk from Object, which challenges women being treated as sex objects, added: “Sugar daddy sites blow any claims women and men are equal out of the water.
“Why is it seen as OK for young women to have to sell themselves to older men in order to survive or prosper?
“The idea that it is acceptable for men to pay, just because they are wealthy and the young women need money, is outrageous.
“This is alarming and those who profit from these sites should be held accountable.”
Comments(28)
cantthinkofone
says...
5:21pm Thu 17 May 12
chunky_lover
says...
6:04pm Thu 17 May 12
cantthinkofone wrote:No it's not - it's a **** sight nicer than reading about worthless fools at the council moaning about job losses! I'm all for this sort of story. Well done the daily echo!
How depressing.
Matt Probert
says...
6:06pm Thu 17 May 12
freemantlegirl2
says...
6:08pm Thu 17 May 12
Whilst I don't have any problem in people doing stuff if they are consenting adults, it is prostitution in all but name... if you truly like the guy then he wouldn't be 'paying' you. Still, good luck to them if that's what they do.
cantthinkofone
says...
6:35pm Thu 17 May 12
chunky_lover wrote:For me, it's depressing to see such a clear illustration of society's commodification of affection/love/sex. The men involved are simultaneously exploiting women, and allowing themselves to be exploited in return. The women involved are essentially engaging in prostitution, and only doing so because society has made it so hard for them to survive otherwise. That the woman quoted says that she would have dated the guy anyway is far from convincing. If she truly cared for him, she wouldn't be charging him 2.5k for her 'company'.
cantthinkofone wrote:No it's not - it's a **** sight nicer than reading about worthless fools at the council moaning about job losses! I'm all for this sort of story. Well done the daily echo!
How depressing.
Consenting adults, each to their own etc. As it goes, I'm FOR the legalisation of prostitution for women's safety reasons. But I still find this kind of thing sad.
cantthinkofone
says...
6:37pm Thu 17 May 12
Matt Probert wrote:Agreed.
Prostitution. The oldest profession on the planet. I'm not oppossed to prostitution, far from it, but is is shameful that students are being forced into this career choice through poverty, rather than being allowed to make an informed choice without such pressures.
good-gosh
says...
7:12pm Thu 17 May 12
Family Man
says...
7:32pm Thu 17 May 12
Second question: As a solution, it appears drastic, but what contribution has student loans, rising tuition fees and the rising cost of living made to this situation?
I suppose the Tory view would be that it has at least proven that further education is accessible across the different income groups and classes! The only thing missing is that they probably don't get on their bikes to go on their dates!
SOULJACKER
says...
7:36pm Thu 17 May 12
I'm gonna have to get me some of this lark, lol ;)
sarfhamton
says...
7:56pm Thu 17 May 12
sass
says...
8:02pm Thu 17 May 12
freemantlegirl2 wrote:So a stay at home wife living on her husbands wages is also a prostitute by your standards.
attracted to older men my eye, you're attracted to his money love and that's a fact!! if he'd been unemployed/low income you wouldn't have given him a second look. Whilst I don't have any problem in people doing stuff if they are consenting adults, it is prostitution in all but name... if you truly like the guy then he wouldn't be 'paying' you. Still, good luck to them if that's what they do.
cantthinkofone
says...
8:37pm Thu 17 May 12
sarfhamton wrote:I still have hair, contact me first!
Any sugar mummies looking to support an overweight bald bloke with his cider habit? Thought not.
dizzychick
says...
8:53pm Thu 17 May 12
7:56pm Thu 17 May 12
Any sugar mummies looking to support an overweight bald bloke with his cider habit? Thought not.”
ahhh yes the commitment phob who is obsessed with his ex. No thank you, all i can say is good luck to the next woman that takes pity on you!
freemantlegirl2
says...
8:57pm Thu 17 May 12
sass wrote:they are not 'my' standards at all mate.... that is not the same thing whatsoever and you know it and a very daft comment if I may say so!
freemantlegirl2 wrote:So a stay at home wife living on her husbands wages is also a prostitute by your standards.
attracted to older men my eye, you're attracted to his money love and that's a fact!! if he'd been unemployed/low income you wouldn't have given him a second look. Whilst I don't have any problem in people doing stuff if they are consenting adults, it is prostitution in all but name... if you truly like the guy then he wouldn't be 'paying' you. Still, good luck to them if that's what they do.
I wouldn't want my daughter doing that as someone else said, however, I'm not so narrow minded as to condemn women. I totally agree with the poster who said about legalising it for safety of women. I fear things aren't as glamours as the likes of Belle de Jour make out!
loosehead
says...
9:53pm Thu 17 May 12
freemantlegirl2 wrote:As two of my nieces ended up as prostitutes I can't see the difference between them or these escorts as that's what they are.
sass wrote:they are not 'my' standards at all mate.... that is not the same thing whatsoever and you know it and a very daft comment if I may say so!
freemantlegirl2 wrote:So a stay at home wife living on her husbands wages is also a prostitute by your standards.
attracted to older men my eye, you're attracted to his money love and that's a fact!! if he'd been unemployed/low income you wouldn't have given him a second look. Whilst I don't have any problem in people doing stuff if they are consenting adults, it is prostitution in all but name... if you truly like the guy then he wouldn't be 'paying' you. Still, good luck to them if that's what they do.
I wouldn't want my daughter doing that as someone else said, however, I'm not so narrow minded as to condemn women. I totally agree with the poster who said about legalising it for safety of women. I fear things aren't as glamours as the likes of Belle de Jour make out!
A Prostitute services a need in men to have sex with younger women or no strings attached these women say I don't have sex unless I fancy them? do they charge for sex?
I don't believe anyone can compare a girl/woman for sale as the same as a caring housewife & mother.
FM2 we don't agree on most things but that poster is an out & out tw+t. do you stand on the street corner selling your body to anyone? do you hand it over to your pimp/escort agency?
do you take drugs to forget it? then get hooked then have to pay your pimp more of your earnings to supply you with drugs?
I think your a decent person who's got their politics wrong but I would never accept this & will argue all day on your behalf against this total berk
good-gosh
says...
10:02pm Thu 17 May 12
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
BillyTheKid
says...
10:13pm Thu 17 May 12
You won't find Beverley Knight turning tricks to fund her next album, or any of our illustrious football team peddling their backsides to buy their new kit for next season.
BillyTheKid
says...
10:19pm Thu 17 May 12
good-gosh wrote:What you have written has left me utterly speechless ! What planet are you from ? University students don't come from Chilworth......why waste my time.......
In my experience, a daughter will readily tell Mum about cash problems, and Mum will waste no time in telling Dad. Dad will respond immediately, hand over a wad to his daughter and increase her allowance – because it would be unbearable to him to think about her alternatives. The alternatives have been his worst nightmare from the day his girl turned 13 and he won’t stop protecting her until she is fully independent.
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
mack chinnon
says...
2:56am Fri 18 May 12
BillyTheKid wrote:Dik, do one.
good-gosh wrote:What you have written has left me utterly speechless ! What planet are you from ? University students don't come from Chilworth......why waste my time.......
In my experience, a daughter will readily tell Mum about cash problems, and Mum will waste no time in telling Dad. Dad will respond immediately, hand over a wad to his daughter and increase her allowance – because it would be unbearable to him to think about her alternatives. The alternatives have been his worst nightmare from the day his girl turned 13 and he won’t stop protecting her until she is fully independent.
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
good-gosh
says...
7:45am Fri 18 May 12
BillyTheKid wrote:Many would abandon THEMSELVES before abandoning a daughter, but not all.
good-gosh wrote:What you have written has left me utterly speechless ! What planet are you from ? University students don't come from Chilworth......why waste my time.......
In my experience, a daughter will readily tell Mum about cash problems, and Mum will waste no time in telling Dad. Dad will respond immediately, hand over a wad to his daughter and increase her allowance – because it would be unbearable to him to think about her alternatives. The alternatives have been his worst nightmare from the day his girl turned 13 and he won’t stop protecting her until she is fully independent.
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
As the old saying goes: “My son is my son ‘til he gets him a wife, but my daughter is my daughter for the rest of my life”.
BillyTheKid
says...
3:05pm Fri 18 May 12
good-gosh wrote:OK. Without spouting any more vacuous, pretentious bullsh*t, tell us how "mummy", who may be a cleaner, and "daddy", who may be a sales assistant, help their daughter in repaying £35,000 ?
BillyTheKid wrote:Many would abandon THEMSELVES before abandoning a daughter, but not all.
good-gosh wrote:What you have written has left me utterly speechless ! What planet are you from ? University students don't come from Chilworth......why waste my time.......
In my experience, a daughter will readily tell Mum about cash problems, and Mum will waste no time in telling Dad. Dad will respond immediately, hand over a wad to his daughter and increase her allowance – because it would be unbearable to him to think about her alternatives. The alternatives have been his worst nightmare from the day his girl turned 13 and he won’t stop protecting her until she is fully independent.
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
As the old saying goes: “My son is my son ‘til he gets him a wife, but my daughter is my daughter for the rest of my life”.
BillyTheKid
says...
3:07pm Fri 18 May 12
History : Specialises only in provocative and malicious posts.
Recommendation : Ignore.
derek james
says...
8:29am Sat 19 May 12
loosehead
says...
8:44am Sat 19 May 12
BillyTheKid wrote:She would not need to pay unless she was earning over £30,000 a year & then it would be spread over a number of years.
good-gosh wrote:OK. Without spouting any more vacuous, pretentious bullsh*t, tell us how "mummy", who may be a cleaner, and "daddy", who may be a sales assistant, help their daughter in repaying £35,000 ?
BillyTheKid wrote:Many would abandon THEMSELVES before abandoning a daughter, but not all.
good-gosh wrote:What you have written has left me utterly speechless ! What planet are you from ? University students don't come from Chilworth......why waste my time.......
In my experience, a daughter will readily tell Mum about cash problems, and Mum will waste no time in telling Dad. Dad will respond immediately, hand over a wad to his daughter and increase her allowance – because it would be unbearable to him to think about her alternatives. The alternatives have been his worst nightmare from the day his girl turned 13 and he won’t stop protecting her until she is fully independent.
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
As the old saying goes: “My son is my son ‘til he gets him a wife, but my daughter is my daughter for the rest of my life”.
so why are they & you using that as an excuse?
This idea of students paying was started by Labour & has continued under the coalition.
if it stops people wasting public money on Mickey Mouse courses I'm all for it.
For those who are doing courses which could be beneficial to us or our economy maybe it should be they have too work so many years in this country to pay back society before certain people go abroad for big bucks or the Australian dream?
good-gosh
says...
11:36am Sat 19 May 12
loosehead wrote:Loosehead: quite true.
BillyTheKid wrote:She would not need to pay unless she was earning over £30,000 a year & then it would be spread over a number of years.
good-gosh wrote:OK. Without spouting any more vacuous, pretentious bullsh*t, tell us how "mummy", who may be a cleaner, and "daddy", who may be a sales assistant, help their daughter in repaying £35,000 ?
BillyTheKid wrote:Many would abandon THEMSELVES before abandoning a daughter, but not all.
good-gosh wrote:What you have written has left me utterly speechless ! What planet are you from ? University students don't come from Chilworth......why waste my time.......
In my experience, a daughter will readily tell Mum about cash problems, and Mum will waste no time in telling Dad. Dad will respond immediately, hand over a wad to his daughter and increase her allowance – because it would be unbearable to him to think about her alternatives. The alternatives have been his worst nightmare from the day his girl turned 13 and he won’t stop protecting her until she is fully independent.
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
As the old saying goes: “My son is my son ‘til he gets him a wife, but my daughter is my daughter for the rest of my life”.
so why are they & you using that as an excuse?
This idea of students paying was started by Labour & has continued under the coalition.
if it stops people wasting public money on Mickey Mouse courses I'm all for it.
For those who are doing courses which could be beneficial to us or our economy maybe it should be they have too work so many years in this country to pay back society before certain people go abroad for big bucks or the Australian dream?
BillyTheKid:
A father has 20 years warning that his girl will grow up. So, one way to prepare is to save just a fiver or more every week for her (a fiver won’t hurt, will it?) and (hey presto) there is £10,000 grand in the bank already. (Don’t tell her about it, or she may want to fritter it) . Unfortunately, some can’t, some won’t and some just don’t care – sad for the girls of these people.
Beer Monster
says...
9:49am Wed 23 May 12
loosehead wrote:Incorrect, the groundwork was set down by the Tories in the Student Loans Act (http://www.educatio
BillyTheKid wrote:She would not need to pay unless she was earning over £30,000 a year & then it would be spread over a number of years.
good-gosh wrote:OK. Without spouting any more vacuous, pretentious bullsh*t, tell us how "mummy", who may be a cleaner, and "daddy", who may be a sales assistant, help their daughter in repaying £35,000 ?
BillyTheKid wrote:Many would abandon THEMSELVES before abandoning a daughter, but not all.
good-gosh wrote:What you have written has left me utterly speechless ! What planet are you from ? University students don't come from Chilworth......why waste my time.......
In my experience, a daughter will readily tell Mum about cash problems, and Mum will waste no time in telling Dad. Dad will respond immediately, hand over a wad to his daughter and increase her allowance – because it would be unbearable to him to think about her alternatives. The alternatives have been his worst nightmare from the day his girl turned 13 and he won’t stop protecting her until she is fully independent.
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
As the old saying goes: “My son is my son ‘til he gets him a wife, but my daughter is my daughter for the rest of my life”.
so why are they & you using that as an excuse?
This idea of students paying was started by Labour & has continued under the coalition.
if it stops people wasting public money on Mickey Mouse courses I'm all for it.
For those who are doing courses which could be beneficial to us or our economy maybe it should be they have too work so many years in this country to pay back society before certain people go abroad for big bucks or the Australian dream?
nengland.org.uk/docu
ments/pdfs/1996-educ
ation-student-loans-
act.pdf). Labour continued the destruction two years later (http://www.educatio
nengland.org.uk/docu
ments/pdfs/1998-educ
ation-(student-loans
)-act.pdf).
Between them all they've reverted the higher education system back to the social elite. As someone who was the first person from either side of his family to attend university (and I studied maths, not a Mickey Mouse degree BTW), this is a disheartening situation for our future.
As it stood, I left university with circa £7K of student loans, which I paid off in four years once I had started full time employment. Fairy snuff.
The thought of leaving with circa £32K is tantamount to a mortgage - no wonder students are taking to such extreme measures.
Agree with many of the above posters that the state should take a more responsible approach to prostitution for the safety of all those involved.
As it happens, I've had to relocate to Scotland to find adequate work in my field of expertise, as there's very little down our way.
loosehead
says...
9:35pm Sun 3 Jun 12
Beer Monster wrote:But once again unless they're going to earn £30,000 plus they pay back nothing so why prostitute yourself?
loosehead wrote:Incorrect, the groundwork was set down by the Tories in the Student Loans Act (http://www.educatio
BillyTheKid wrote:She would not need to pay unless she was earning over £30,000 a year & then it would be spread over a number of years.
good-gosh wrote:OK. Without spouting any more vacuous, pretentious bullsh*t, tell us how "mummy", who may be a cleaner, and "daddy", who may be a sales assistant, help their daughter in repaying £35,000 ?
BillyTheKid wrote:Many would abandon THEMSELVES before abandoning a daughter, but not all.
good-gosh wrote:What you have written has left me utterly speechless ! What planet are you from ? University students don't come from Chilworth......why waste my time.......
In my experience, a daughter will readily tell Mum about cash problems, and Mum will waste no time in telling Dad. Dad will respond immediately, hand over a wad to his daughter and increase her allowance – because it would be unbearable to him to think about her alternatives. The alternatives have been his worst nightmare from the day his girl turned 13 and he won’t stop protecting her until she is fully independent.
So, girls, talk to Mum, joke about the alternatives, and watch Dad open his cheque book as if by magic.
As the old saying goes: “My son is my son ‘til he gets him a wife, but my daughter is my daughter for the rest of my life”.
so why are they & you using that as an excuse?
This idea of students paying was started by Labour & has continued under the coalition.
if it stops people wasting public money on Mickey Mouse courses I'm all for it.
For those who are doing courses which could be beneficial to us or our economy maybe it should be they have too work so many years in this country to pay back society before certain people go abroad for big bucks or the Australian dream?
nengland.org.uk/docu
ments/pdfs/1996-educ
ation-student-loans-
act.pdf). Labour continued the destruction two years later (http://www.educatio
nengland.org.uk/docu
ments/pdfs/1998-educ
ation-(student-loans
)-act.pdf).
Between them all they've reverted the higher education system back to the social elite. As someone who was the first person from either side of his family to attend university (and I studied maths, not a Mickey Mouse degree BTW), this is a disheartening situation for our future.
As it stood, I left university with circa £7K of student loans, which I paid off in four years once I had started full time employment. Fairy snuff.
The thought of leaving with circa £32K is tantamount to a mortgage - no wonder students are taking to such extreme measures.
Agree with many of the above posters that the state should take a more responsible approach to prostitution for the safety of all those involved.
As it happens, I've had to relocate to Scotland to find adequate work in my field of expertise, as there's very little down our way.
Maine Lobster says...
4:57pm Thu 17 May 12