WHEN Sarah Spencer-Stonehill won a Daily Echo Curtain Call Award her success was bitter-sweet.

For the mum of two had been secretly under-going cancer treatment and now fears she will never be able to sing or perform again.

Sarah, 49, received her award for Best Actress in a Comedy from EastEnders actor Derek Martin in a glittering ceremony at the Grand Harbour Hotel for her outstanding portrayal of Doris, a very "nasty" journalist, in the Maskers Theatre production of Silly Cow.

The radiotherapy she received while rehearsing for her prize-winning performance has since paralysed her vocal chords and left her with a much weaker and quieter voice that means even normal conversation can be an effort.

Cruelly this is Sarah's second battle with cancer and it returned just after she had nursed her husband Lou back to health from a heart-attack.

Sarah, who is mum to Georgia, 20, and India, 16, first had breast cancer in 2012 and underwent chemotherapy, radiotherapy and two lots of surgery.

All seemed to be fine but she was re-diagnosed last June just as she was about to go to Corfu to tour as a singing duo with Lou, 53, who is a professional musician.

"It was a working holiday. I didn't think I would be able to go but they said I could delay my treatment."

Sarah could feel a lump at the side of her neck and she has another behind her sternum and across the front of her chest but the couple had gigs booked up so decided to go ahead with the six-week tour.

"They said it would take three weeks to set up treatment anyway so for the sake of a couple of weeks I thought 'we'll do it'."

She returned home to start radiotherapy - and a new job in learning support with Serendipity School - a school for girls with complex emotional behavioural needs, at Thornhill.

Sarah, who lives in Southampton, had given up her previous job in Basingstoke to be nearer Lou when he suffered a heart attack last February.

"Unfortunately once they had done the radiotherapy it paralysed my vocal chords on one side. After I'd finished the play it became apparent: it generously waited until two weeks after. I was in the middle of rehearsals for a school play and was half way through a song when my voice gave out and it didn't get better. I went to ENT (Ears Nose and Throat) and they said in a very matter of fact way "It's probably permanent".

The news was devastating for Sarah: "I cried my eyes out. I've been a member of Maskers for over 20 years but this was the first play I'd done for some time.

"After my first cancer diagnosis I thought 'why am I not doing that I love? I will do more acting and singing'. The play came up and it looked fun. It was great to be in that environment again.

"There's not any part for actors who can't speak. I don't have a great amount of power in my voice. I can't pitch right or hold my breath. Producing a good voice on stage is completely different to chatting.

"I think I sound like I've got a permanent cold and in a noisy pub it's difficult to get people to understand me. I can't sing now. It's only once you lose it that you realise how much you sing, even in the car or when you're cooking dinner, even if you are not doing it for a living.

"I'm waiting for speech therapy. It's been a long wait for that. I've been assessed and I'm on a waiting list. I've heard there are singing teachers who work with people with this but I think it would be far too expensive. At the moment one vocal chord is straining to make up for the other side that isn't working."

And so hearing her name called out as a Curtain Call winner was highly emotional: "I couldn't believe it. When they said my name I had my hand on my face and by the time I got to the stage, I was trying so hard not to cry. After I went to the toilet and had a good cry!"

So what was the reaction of friends when Sarah finally broke the news about her illness?

"The people that I told were 'OMG why didn't you say?' I didn't because you know you'll be judged. You stop being an actor, a colleague, a friend - you become the one with cancer."

Now Sarah has 18 weeks of weekly chemotherapy ahead of her.

"I worked all through it last time but I took some time off when I got tired. I don't want to sit at home for 18 weeks just being professionally sick. I'm not looking forward to losing my hair but I'd rather lose my hair than have cancer.

"I would love to sing again - I really miss that. That's one of the things that makes me tearful, not being able to sing to the radio and hearing a voice come out that's not my own."

The first cancer diagnosis prompted Sarah to go out and embrace and enjoy life and she is taking a positive approach again.

"After my last lot of cancer treatment I learnt to swim.

"Now I'm just concentrating on getting well. If I can't act and I can't sing I need to do something else, but I'm still grieving for the loss of my voice.

"You must look on the bright side of life. You only have one so you must make the best of it."