A BOY NAMED FALCON

In case you didn’t know I spend a lot of my time fundraising on the ferry, during the course of doing this though I get to meet a lot of people. Some of these meetings can be quite emotional. It seems over the last couple of weeks I have met people who have different experiences with leukaemia. One very pretty lass in her early twenties thanked me, she had survived leukaemia when she was ten. Whilst rowing away I met one gentleman who had his children with him. He described to his children how his cousin died from leukaemia at the age of 26. Last summer someone thanked me because their daughter died at age of six from the disease. It was last weekend another one of these chance meetings struck me.

I met a family whose mother thanked me because they were going through leukaemia at the moment. When I enquired who she pointed to her young son running around on the floor. He was wearing a hat but from the parts of scalp you could see the hair was growing slowly back from chemo. I was taken a back by this young lad who seemed to be just enjoying himself on the Red Funnel ferry. I know a number of people who if they were that ill would close themselves off from the world. Instead this young man who was no older than ten was facing the world with gusto and courage. I recommended they look up the Ellen Macarthur Trust.

I don’t know this boys name so I named him Falcon because that was the name of the ferry I was on at the time. It seems this boy being just himself taught me a lesson that no piece of advice from any adult or expert could ever manage. I recently have been on the tail end of a bout of bullying to force me to sell my late mum’s house. Going though the process of selling has been a tough emotional trial. This is a place where my brothers terminal illness and mums cancer finished with their passing. On one occasion down stairs Andrew attempting to take his own life by cutting his throat in front of us. The chance meeting with this boy though, has now granted me the strength and courage to get through.

I have had to re adjust the schedule for charity events which, actually remains pretty much the same. Having to postpone the row around the Isle of Wight has thrown a spanner in the works. So it is as follows:

Row distance of Southampton to New York (5503.03km) On concept2 rowing machine (1st Jan to 9th August)

13th April London Marathon

June 1st – August 1st Spidermans 1800 mile solo sail around Britain

Leeds Jane Tomlinson’s Run for all

Row around the Isle of Wight July 2008 (Weather dependent)

Triathlon Dorney Lake Windsor (July)

JP Morgam sail around island 28th June

Calshot velodrome challenge August

UK Ironman 7th September 2008

Ride lands end to john o groats and back 9th Sept – 21st Sept

Rowers revenge october 2008

New York Marathon November

Note: so far Alaisdair has made it round to Ramsgate

Over the past months people on the ferry have been wondering whether im plain crazy and also where i get my energy from. Basically part of the battle is being to use the pain from the past as a motivator. However there is a fine balance to doing so and it can turn against if your not careful.

An example of this happened last year at a triathlon. My original reason for coming to Southampton was to face the problems caused by a series of assaults whilst i was attending a school outside of Dorchester between the age of 8 - 11. At that time my mum removed me from the school i was bordering on a mental breakdown. One particular incident involved being forced to perform a swim test in the middle of winter in an open pool. The effects of this period of result in the occasional seizure occuring. For some reason the acheivement of gaining my MSC last these fears back up last year, maybe because it was the end of the journey. So when i hit the water at the Ironman my mind had a flashback to that time and within 150m my body seized up.

The day of my mums heart attack, i had my hands on my bike seat moments before it happened. Everytime i hold the seat it is a reminder of that day. Thats why mental preperation has feature the last couple of months more than physical. If i hadn't taken this approach this year wouldn't be a success.

Tommorow is the last saturday in june and time to shift up a gear.

Ok so i don't have so far to go with the challenge on the rowng machine, under 5,000 km to go. This weekend provided a bit of break from riding on top of the Red Funnel ferries. In preperation to row around the Isle of Wight myself and some students are going to row at the Ryde/Shanklin regattas. This basically involves rowing 1000m in a coastal four doing a bouy turn and then racing back another 1000m. The fours are the same as those we will use to row around the Island in. Enduring the seas around means a couple of things including getting up close and personal with the fith most recognised landmark in the UK - the needles!

At least it provides some distraction from the task of dealing with my Mum's estate and eventually selling the house. This is a place where i have witnessed suicide attempts, heartbreak and death. It can be a happy warm home for someone it's my task to lay the foundations for that.

In the mean time it's a case of selecting a good group of tunes to listen to whilst i train. A bit of rock, dance (garage or hardcore), pop and if all else fails the radio on my mp3 player.

The London Marathon one of the biggest participation one day sporting events in the world and a tough challenge. For me this one was going to be a battle to continue bringing back my mental toughness. It was also a chance to enjoy a larger than life event and watch some other very colourful colours.

I made my way up by train on saturday with my friend Jon Sowden who was also running. The expo where you pick your numbers up is the size of an air craft hanger. There are a number of different stands advertising clothes, events and also promoting charities. One of the race sponsors gave everyone the opportunity to put a personal message on a piece of card that matched the one your race number was on.
My simply read "For Mum, miss you angus"
After i made my way to my friends flat in Clapham Junction. James an old university friend and his girlfriend Fini not only kindly put me up for the weekend but also fed me as well.

On sunday i made my way to the start line by train, you know when your going in the right direction when hundreds of people with the same kit as you are on the same transport. The you start to see some of the costumes other people are wearing. One guy a well know fundraiser was running in a huge robot costume on stilts.

We finally got underway and i settled into a nice pace. It does not really hit you until you get there how many people are running for good causes. Its also a rare event in terms of the support you get. Thousands of people came out to cheer you on and help you get through the course no matter where your from. Which is just as well because the weather was harsh for running something of that distance. I battled though the pain wasn't the barrier it was the constant replay of mums heart attack from cancer. You clung to the land marks such as tower bridge and almost pushed yourself off them. For a large part of the race i seemed to be followed by a guy in a somic the hedgehog costume. I just couldn't shake him it seemed, very bizare. It is a good idea to put your name on the front of your running vest, you get a lot more support.

Holding the medal was true testament to flexing my mental strength muscles. Looking around seeing those exhausted but relieved individuals with their medals let me know i had been part of something special. Bring on the rest.

What a difference half an hour makes. The last time i graped the seat of my bike, my mothers heart attack from cancer happened within minuites after. I had move it about but because of the strong association with that morning would not touch the seat. I realised that in order to make a difference and complete my aims i would have no other choice.

I set it up in my rowing club Coalporters on the static trainer and cycled for half an hour. It was good after and i felt such a release. I have started putting a diary of fundraising events im attending this year, which include:

Row distance of Southampton to New York (5503.03km) On concept2 rowing machine (1st Jan to 9th August)

13th April London Marathon

Row around the Isle of Wight June 2008 (Weather dependent)

Evening Triathlon Dorney Lake Windsor (25th June)

Box end park longswim 3.8km swim 13th july

JP Morgam sail around island 28th June

UK Ironman 17th August 2008

Ride lands end to john o groats and back 6th Sept - 17th Sept

Rowers revenge october 2008

New York Marathon November

I spent half the Easter break rowing on the ferries, steadily covering my distance. I also managed to raise over £700. The running is finally improving, just in time for London. All good news as Easter was another tough first to get out the way.

So at the beginning of last week an opportunity presented itself. The company I work for Skandia was taking part in Sport relief by having a dress down day on the Friday. One of my colleagues suggested I set up a rowing machine up and collect from other members of staff. After a bit of digging around eventually I managed to arrange to set it up for the afternoon. It was just deciding how to do it? I decided to do a marathon (26.2 miles), it was going to provide me with an idea about how fit I was for the London Marathon.

At 12.30am I started to row and kept going. Initially not many people showed interest but after a while donations were put in the bucket. After half way through the BBC showed up to film me later that day I appeared on South today and on Sunday the Mile show. I finished three hours and 48 mins later. Afterwards I found out I was on the staff intranet with members of staff emailing me congratulating me on how I done.
It was good first step in raising awareness of this year’s mission and proved I was fit. The next step is plucking up the courage to get back on the bike…..