IT’S the cavalry!

You could be forgiven for thinking he was a great warrior defending Britain from its enemies. Think King Arthur mounting his trusty steed and going into battle.

Well, not quite.

This modern day knight in shining armour has a slightly higher waistband and a penchant for insulting people.

Simon Cowell is to return to the UK in a bid to rescue his ailing TV show X-Factor.

At the expense of the American version of the show, which is truly awful anyway, he’s ditched Gary Barlow, who was far too nice, and is making a comeback.

Now I’m of the opinion that televised singing contests have had their day.

Anyone who’s anyone believes the homecoming of the music mogul and the esteemed leader of all things X-Factor will bring about a ratings surge.

But I’d say even if everything he has touched has turned to gold in the past, I don’t think even Cowell can restore that tired formula to its former glory.

Admittedly, his put downs are the stuff of legend.

But everybody is forgetting one rather important thing – by the time the new series comes around Simon Cowell will be a new father.

He could be nodding off on the judging panel after one bottle feed and nappy change too many in the night.

Or, worse still, he might become all gooey and lovely and stop being nasty to everyone. Now that would be a TV travesty.

Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here

Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here