THE destination for the first date is perilous decision that could make or break a fledgling romantic acquaintance, or at least increase the amount of time it takes before you achieve victory.

With little knowledge of your potential mate’s interests and aversions it can be hard arrange an action-packed day of delights to have her half-seduced before she has her first sip of alcohol.

Pressure is always on the man to come up with a venue and too often I find myself falling back on the ‘safe’ options of going for a few drinks, a meal or the cinema.

However, I worry these choices don’t make me seem imaginative or glamorous enough.

I want women to think there is no telling what kind of crazy adventures I could be off having – at any given moment I could be off conquering mountains, making important-seeming decisions and hobnobbing with the rich and powerful.

Also, a few drinks can seem a bit of a loose arrangement, particularly if one of you drives and is forced to sip a soft drink while I get progressively drunker.

A meal can be a bit of a big commitment, particularly if you quickly realise you are not suited.

I remember one date bristling at my comments over a pre-dinner drink and the two of us gobbling down our three-course meals as quickly as possible so we could get out of each other’s company.

The problem with the cinema is that, by necessity, it involves sitting next to somebody you like in near complete silence.

On one occasion, I turned to the girl as the credits rolled on Titanic to find her just waking up.

In a sleepy voice she said: “I must have dozed off...have you been crying?”

Some time ago, I asked a sexy Hampshire teacher what she would consider the perfect date and she suggested the zoo.

Perfect, I thought, a nice day out, lots of topics of conversation and stuff to look at.

Sadly, she rejected my offer of a trip to the zoo, so it was a few months later I got to try out her advice with a cute nurse.

It was a sunny day as we walked hand in hand through the gates of the zoo.

The conversation flowed easily as, if any slight lull seemed imminent, I would suggest we moved on to the next animal.

I must admit I was disappointed at the lack of effort on the behalf of the exhibits.

The tiger was clearly one of the highlights but it surely should sleep on its own time instead of lazing around on my dollar.

When it became clear none of the zookeepers were going to poke the magnificent beast with a stick to encourage more showmanship we moved on.

She favoured the monkeys although I was horrified at their lack of modesty.

Thankfully, as she was a nurse, I didn’t have explain the man baboon was not hurting the lady baboon despite the terrible noise.