HE grew up wanting to be feared and used his large build to intimidate and threaten those closest to him – until he decided he wanted to change and sought help from a Southampton charity, the Hampton Trust.

Here, Dave (not his real name) tells how his life has transformed and why it’s important for men like him to seek help.

“Before I attended the ADAPT programme my relationship was violent and I was a very angry person.

“When I was younger I enjoyed it.

I wanted to be feared because I had a bad childhood but when I got older I didn’t want to be like it any more.

“I didn’t want to use my size and my intimidation. I wanted to change.

“The people at ADAPT, when they first met me, said I was loud, intimidating and threatening.

“Now my whole manner has changed.

“ADAPT has meant me and Hollie are now back together.

It is hard now to comprehend the amount of pain and hurt I have put her through over the years.

“I was ashamed and hurt when it first happened. I couldn’t bear to see the bruises and know I had caused that pain.

“I am sorry for things I have done.

Doing the course has made me realise that if there are weak foundations, the house will fall down so if you sort out the problem from deep beneath then it can help out in all areas of life.

“The more you have an understanding of something the more you can see it from another point of view and do something about it.

“I have now calmed down. I have a family, I am happy. Now I put a lot of thought into things, thinking about the consequences on the other person before you act and we talk a lot more.

“I am in control and I work from a pressure gauge and I know when I need to go out and take myself away from things.

“I got help and good has come from it. It has been an uphill struggle but there is a big dramatic change and now there is a positive future.

“Men need to look at themselves and they need to recognise they have a problem because support is there.”