SHE was climbing down a huge ice face with no safety harness.

One slip could have been fatal.

It's hard to imagine a worse time to develop a fear of heights.

But, despite having given up a high flying career to pursue her love of mountain climbing, Mags MacKean was suddenly hit with vertigo.

"It erupted without mercy," says Mags, now 44, from Titchfield.

"Fear was always part of the package, but this was something else.

"Right then, I made a vow to myself that if I ever got off that ice wall I was not going to take part in such a joyless activity again."

Mags had thought she was getting out of the rat race.

But she found that rather than the figurative career climb she had been on, she had switched to working just as hard, literally climbing, always looking for the next peak.

A former BBC television and radio journalist, she had loved living in the fast lane.

"I had a flat in Notting Hill and loved the sense of being part of a 24-hour city," she says.

"Around 160 different languages were spoken within ten blocks of where I lived and I loved that sense of multiculturalism."

But over the years, she began to fall out of love with what had been her dream career.

"The stories became interchangeable. I began to feel that I was looking out at life, telling other people's stories. That's when the restlessness began."

Mags felt an increasingly strong urge to be in the great outdoors.

She took three unpaid career breaks to explore this growing enthusiasm, using them to climb Pisang Peak in Nepal, spend six months trekking solo alone across the Pyrenees on a high level route and to climb Acongagua, the highest peak in South America.

Eventually, she decided to hand in her notice and focus full-time on outdoor life.

She booked herself a series of plane tickets to chase the seasons and practice the skills she needed to make herself a more able and independent mountaineer.

But it was eight months into this period that vertigo hit her on that New Zealand ice wall.

And she was struck by more than just a fear of heights.

"I realised I was as burnt out following this path as I had been in my career," she says.

Mags addresses the question of what happens when the summit doesn't offer the escape you expected in her new book, The Upside Down Mountain.

"I look at what happens when you go in the opposite direction," she says.

"What the model is for lasting happiness."

Mags didn't fall out of love with the outdoors but did stop chasing peaks, instead heading into the Amazon, spending her time outdoors, with shamans and trading work for accommodation.

She had an income from renting out her London flat and lived cheaply, allowing her to focus on her big questions in life.

"I started to question where the restlessness behind my drive came from," she explains.

"I began to stand still and pay attention to the feelings I'd been trying to avoid."

Mags realised that she would be happier if she switched her focus inwards rather than outwards.

She now runs storytelling workshops in Bristol, where she moved to to be part of a community, to help others to channel their own creativity.

"I support people to make changes, often without doing anything physically differently.

"It's about creating balance in your life, without waiting for the next partner, holiday etc," she says.

"It's about stopping looking for external changes.

"My diary doesn't have to be full anymore for me to feel I'm moving through life in an exciting way.

"I give myself time to appreciate what's around me, like my garden.

"There is inspiration in community and in each day - I don't need to travel to have a sense of purpose.

"I am no longer looking for everything to be great at a future time - I'm living life and feeling fulfilled every day."

Since that frightening vertigo attack in New Zealand, Mags has kept her promise to herself and hasn't been climbing again, and she doesn't miss it.

"Travel does have its purpose but I've realised the restlessness I had is best channelled into creative fuel" she says.

"I realised it was restlessness in my mind that was leading to restless pursuits.

"Once I'd ticked one box it was always a question of 'what's next?'

"I realised I needed to learn to be at peace where I am.

"I'm making an adventure of the everyday."

The Upside Down Mountain (O-Books ISBN-10: 1785351710) is available through book shops, online stores including Amazon, and as eBook. An audio version, narrated by Mag, is available from Audible.com, iTunes and Amazon.

For more information visit magsmackean.com