Christmas in the Heale-Gilbert household has been a particularly hectic one.

Dali is now of an age where she understands the concept of Santa and fizzed around the house with anticipation for days.

Bay has found having a Christmas tree to smash up more exciting that just her normal toys.

We have had a lot of fun but there has been a silent weight on our shoulders.

I have had a lot of people talk to me about us ‘making memories’.

Isn’t this what we are all doing all of the time? The pressure for a certain time to be extra special can lead to disappointment.

I always had excellent Christmas times when I was a child and have nothing but fond memories.

This was the same for Greg and one of the things we bonded over when we first met was our love of the festive holiday.

While we have had a good Christmas, this year I haven’t been able to ignore all those people for who this time of year is exceptionally painful.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about dinner tables with empty seats, traditions not fulfilled and those who want to hibernate away from all the forced joy until January.

I realised how lucky we have been to have so many amazing memories of Christmas that have just been about family and fun.

There is also the weight of the new year coming.

We know that Greg will start chemotherapy again at the end of January but even though we became seasoned visitors to the oncology unit after six months of treatment during 2017, we don’t know what this will bring.

Everything about this year is an unknown. While I hear other people making holiday plans for the summer, we just need to think about today.

There is part of me that would like to plan trips and weekends away but there is also something amazing about living in the now.

I am absorbing everything, seeing the depth of the colours and the brightness of the lights. I am fully engaged in all conversations.

I have adopted one of my best friends favourite sayings: ’right now, it’s like this’.

During good and bad times, I don’t think there can be a better way to live.

Stacey Heale has put her career as a fashion lecturer on hold to focus on her two lively little girls and fiancé, Delays frontman Greg Gilbert, who was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in November 2016. She launched the viral campaign Give4Greg to raise funds for lifesaving treatment: gofundme. com/give4greg. You can read more at her blog