Things are tricky at the moment. Greg has dealt well with the new chemo regime on the whole but this past week has been tough.

Suspicious stomach pains have eaten up our spare time and led to Greg being admitted to hospital.

We are at the hospital so often that to go back at an unscheduled time is done with absolute reluctance.

This time, he was asked to go in for an emergency x-ray when I had back-to-back children’s parties and two small girls in fancy dress costumes in tow.

Instead of the oncology lounge, I made the decision to go with the girls.

This was a hard decision for me as I have always been Greg’s advocate in all situations, especially when seeing consultants. It was also so hard to know he was scared at the hospital without me there to reassure him.

The first party was at the house of one of my best friends and even though I was feeling sick with fear, having my closest friends around me to sit in the sun was helpful, while the children went crazy on sugar and the bouncy castle.

The second party was different as it was one of Dali’s school friends and I wouldn’t know anyone.

I felt like my head would explode as a mixture of different Elsa and Anna’s ran around me.

Despite our situation, I very rarely ever feel sorry for myself or us but I was starkly aware that no one else was alone waiting to hear if their partner’s cancer had spread and their chemotherapy wasn’t working.

These types of situations seem to crop again again and again recently – the beauty of spring, hearing my children laughing, amazing opportunities mixed with the dark terror of what hangs over our heads.

This bizarre concoction is something we are getting used to because right now, it’s like this. I see so much more wonder in the world now but I’ve felt more fear than I have ever wanted to.

Greg was fine, just some side effects from the chemo causing the pains. He was able to come home and hear all about the parties from two wildly excited children who had probably eaten an entire cake between them during the day.

I wondered if I would have taken notice of this sweet exchange if I hadn’t had the morning from hell.

* Stacey Heale has put her career as a fashion lecturer on hold to focus on her two lively little girls and fiancé, Delays frontman Greg Gilbert, who was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in November 2016. She launched the viral campaign Give4Greg to raise funds for lifesaving treatment: gofundme.com/give4greg. You can read more at her blog beneaththeweather.com