I may be 38 but this week, my mum Madge schooled me. She asked me if I had written a list of jobs that need to be done for the wedding. No, I replied, I don’t need to, it’s all in my head and there are only about five things to do anyway. This is how I’ve been doing my life of recent months – in my head. Madge promptly sat me down with a pen and paper and told me I wasn’t getting up until I had written a full list. She had a point; if anyone was to see how I organise myself in my head nowadays, they wouldn’t see a to do list, they would witness utter carnage.

It turns out that my five-job list was actually a three-page list, none of which are even close to being sorted and with a wedding that is in two weeks, it might be a slight problem. I lurch between finding the whole thing hilarious and beating myself up because its yet another thing that I’m unable to get on top of.

It was a sharp wake up call to the total disorganisation of my life. When I was at work, I was the queen of lists (I have been known to add jobs like ‘have breakfast’ just for the psychological boost of crossing it off) but now, I couldn’t even tell you where my diary is, let alone what’s written in it. Dali starts school in a month, the wedding is in two weeks, Greg is busy writing the last pieces for his poetry book that needs to be submitted by the end of August, we are waiting for scan results to see what action needs to be taken next, every piece of crockery is waiting to be washed up….this fire fighting attitude must end if any of this is going to end well.

I’ve made an initial executive decision – we are getting a cleaner. This is a big deal for me because I have some deep held beliefs that I should be able to sort my own house out and it’s an extravagance we cant afford but I now feel like this might be the ultimate act of self-care. Besides, I’m going to be too busy fighting all the other parents who have left everything until the last minute for school uniforms and pencil cases in Sainsburys.

*Stacey Heale has left her career as a fashion lecturer to focus on her two lively little girls and fiancé, Delays frontman Greg Gilbert, who was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in November 2016. She launched the viral campaign Give4Greg to raise funds for lifesaving treatment: gofundme.com/give4greg. You can read more at her blog beneaththeweather.com