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Graham Nye wants answers over his daughter Victoria's death

6:50pm Monday 8th March 2010 in News Photograph of the Author By Corey Stephenson, Senior News and Video Reporter

Victoria Nye Victoria Nye

“IF you let her go she will be dead in a matter of hours.”

It was the desperate warning a devastated father gave staff at a Hampshire psychiatric hospital as he begged them not to release his daughter over fears she would kill herself.

Just hours later, his plea seemingly ignored, his 22- year-old daughter Victoria plunged to her death from a Southampton tower block.

Shortly before, Graham Nye had received a phone call from Victoria who told him she was being released from Southampton’s Department of Psychiatry (DOP), based at the Royal South Hants Hospital, despite pleading with doctors to let her stay.

Mr Nye says that against warnings from himself and medical notes he claims were issued from a family doctor detailing how his daughter was in need of urgent care, Victoria was told by psychiatrists that she “could not be helped” at the centre and would be released.

Police called at Mr Nye’s home early last Thursday morning to tell him Victoria had died after falling from the 13th floor balcony of her flat in Dumbletons Tower in Thornhill.

“I told doctors that if they let her leave she would be dead within a matter of hours. And she was,” he said.

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Speaking to the Daily Echo after bosses f r o m H a m p s h i re Partnership N H S Foundat i o n Trust revealed an internal inquiry is under way over her death, Mr Nye said his daughter had been tormented for eight years with mental illness and this was the first time she was willing to get help.

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He said: “She had finally taken that huge step and acknowledged that she needed help. She was at the psychiatry unit voluntarily.

She was beginning to turn her life around.”

Mr Nye added: “When she phoned me and told me they had let her go, she said they had told her it was because she was normal and shouldn’t be there.

“She said they told her ‘they could not help her’. She took this to mean that she had something wrong with her but could not be helped.”

Mr Nye said he had contacted the DOP and asked them not to release Victoria and was assured his comments and request would be shared with doctors treating her.

A former school pupil at St Anne’s School in Southampton and The Mountbatten School in Romsey, Victoria had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago.

But after reacting badly to medication, Mr Nye said that experts had recently told his daughter they believed she was suffering from a personality disorder, which required separate treatment.

Mr Nye said Victoria w o u l d describe the times when she was down as a “ t r a i n w r e c k ”

which often led to violent outbursts at her loved ones, and at its worst would lead to her self harming.

On a few occasions Victoria had also previously tried to commit suicide.

Paying tribute to his daughter, Mr Nye said he was proud of how she was turning her life around after problems at school.

He said after completing a series of Open University courses and an entry level course at Eastleigh College, Victoria was on course to later join Southampton University and train to become a doctor.

“She was incredibly intelligent and beautifully stunning.

Some would say she was too smart for her own good as she would often overthink things.

“She loved having a debate and could argue about anything.

She was very popular and would speak to people from all walks of life.”

“She was incredibly colourful and although she did have some dark episodes that were very difficult for those who loved her, when she was bright and breezy it more than outweighed the times she wasn’t herself.”

Victoria was discharged from the DOP on Wednesday evening after admitting herself two weeks earlier.

At around 12.10am on Thursday morning she was found outside the Thornhill tower block after plunging more than 100ft from the top floor balcony and despite resuscitation efforts of neighbours who found her, died from her injuries.

Mr Nye said: “I have no doubt that she killed herself because she felt there was no help for her.”

The father-of-two – he has a son called Jon – is now seeking answers as to why Victoria was released despite her medical history and warnings he says were made by health professionals.

Bosses at the DOP, which came under fire five years ago after a memo leaked a series of care failures, have said an inquiry has been launched into her discharge.

Nick Yeo, chief executive of Hampshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust said: “I extend my deepest sympathy to Victoria Nye’s family and friends at this difficult time.

“Whenever such tragic events take place the Trust always undertakes a full review that includes the views and any concerns expressed by the family.

“That process has begun and the Trust will be making contact with Ms Nye’s family to involve them in the process and to offer them any support we can.”

Comments(32)

waltons11 says...
1:39pm Mon 8 Mar 10

I am horrified that this sort of thing is still happening!! An investigation has recently finished into a very close relative of mine who was released from a mental hospital, so concerned were they, that they phoned the police and said " we have discharged him but he is a danger to himself and possibly others (named). The discharge went ahead, the police took no notice, and my relative is now in prison for taking the life of the (named) person. That I would not not argue about, he did wrong he must be punished- his opinion too, but after the investigation we were told "we have learned valuable lessons from this, and are sure that this will not happen again" REALLY ???? I DON'T THINK SO!! It makes me so very angry that this sort of thing can be avoided and all the agencies whoever they are always say, " we have learned lessons" but they do not. How many times must history repeat itself before they really do learn?? Life is so precious and important and some people are so blase about it, it makes you want to weep.

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south gal says...
1:43pm Mon 8 Mar 10

this comment makes me sick... i am a VERY close friend to the family and have been for a number of years, i was also VERY close to Victoria and this comment has upset me. Her family have done everything in their power to help this poor soul, you can not help someone who doesnt want to be helped, i think you need to read the whole article again and actually get it right because you have got the wrong perspective of the whole thing! Extremely rude!

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Walter Kurtz says...
1:45pm Mon 8 Mar 10

If my daughter had phoned me in a vulnerable state upon imminent release from the DOP and I was genuinely concerned about her welfare, would it not be my responsibility to bring her into my care or that of another family member or friend as a matter of urgency? These people need to be shown that they matter!

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south gal says...
1:49pm Mon 8 Mar 10

keep reading everything that gets put into the papers and you will understand all the facts and the reasons, as i said i am very close to them all, and they are grieving so very much, the death of Victoria was not any of her family or friends and how someone could accuse us of her death its absolutly ridiculous! Please do not judge i promise to all you will see!

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Ted Rogers says...
1:49pm Mon 8 Mar 10

south gal wrote:
this comment makes me sick... i am a VERY close friend to the family and have been for a number of years, i was also VERY close to Victoria and this comment has upset me. Her family have done everything in their power to help this poor soul, you can not help someone who doesnt want to be helped, i think you need to read the whole article again and actually get it right because you have got the wrong perspective of the whole thing! Extremely rude!
After reading the full articles, it seems to me that this young girl did want to be helped; but unfortunately she perhaps did not get the sufficient support.

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south gal says...
1:51pm Mon 8 Mar 10

yes she did want to be helped thats why she was in hospital!! yet they turned her away!!!!! as i said it has nothing to do with family and friends as we have supported Victoria all the way and tried our best to help her!

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Walter Kurtz says...
1:58pm Mon 8 Mar 10

There seems to be a plethora of excuses here, no doubt engineered by individuals to feel comfortable in their own skin....

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Survivor304 says...
2:02pm Mon 8 Mar 10

Ted Rogers - I have been a friend of the family for years. Don't bother making comments without thinking first. You do not know the Nye family, you did not know Victoria. Never have I met a more loving father - it is not your place to comment on what you think is right or wrong, this comments facility relates to leaving messages of condolence in situations like this, your type of comments belong to impersonal articles, not the tragic death of a beautiful young girl, who was very, very loved and who was unfortunately unwell and not looked after by the mental health team as she should have been. Your comments have hurt me deeply as a friend of the family, I hope to God the family do not read your insensitive ramblings.

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south gal says...
2:09pm Mon 8 Mar 10

Do you know what im sick of this... its ok for people on the outside looking in and making judgements.. If you knew her and the situation and you people felt that way then maybe you would have that right to, as you DO NOT know the facts and I DO then please do not tell me how i should be feeling, as i am grieving and trying to support the family through this extrememly hard time.

no-one in the family are to blame, as i have said they have done everything to help her.. let me ask you did you buy the echo to read the FULL story in there or just this small article on here that does not give you any look into the matter? if you havent read the paper then please do so and im sure your thoughts will change if not completely just slightly but i ask of you not to blame her father as he has tried so so very hard over the years, I do not wish for any hatred towards the family, as they are all trying to recover from such a tragic loss.. for people who havent lost anyone under the circumstances do not know how it feels and should have some sort of respect and understanding for others..

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southy says...
2:10pm Mon 8 Mar 10

Survivor304, Sholing even lo i do agree with you most of what you posted, but i must point out to you that this is a debate forum and not a obituaries forum weather if you and my self and others like it or not, the echo do have a separate place where you can give your condolence

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sssshhhh says...
2:11pm Mon 8 Mar 10

here here...well said south gal...now maybe these small minded people will shut up and let their support for a grieving family x

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Steve Hudson says...
2:17pm Mon 8 Mar 10

this should not even be open for comments in my opinion.

RIP Victoria - condolences to the family.

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south gal says...
2:21pm Mon 8 Mar 10

Thank-you survivor304 im goin blue in the face tryin to tell these people that her father is an amazing dad! i doubt these people have read the whole article and i am beggin those who havent to do so and they will understand a little more, i also am a very close friend of the family and i have been upset by his insensitive comments and i too pray to god that her father doesnt see this!

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Big Mac says...
2:26pm Mon 8 Mar 10

South Gal... may I suggest that you focus the genuine care and support you obviously have for the family and other friends of Vicky towards them. By trying to reason/correct or simply seek the compassion from some of the posters here, you are, regrettably wasting your time...
and you don't need to do that at this time

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Condor Man says...
7:17pm Mon 8 Mar 10

from experience if you have any fears like this dad did you must stay with the person indefinately. I've been lucky to have loads of supportive people around me, others are not so fortunate.

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My_Love says...
7:22pm Mon 8 Mar 10

Ted Rogers wrote:
If you make such comments then you put yourself up for scrutiny. Why then, leave your daughter, who you know needs help on her own? I remain very sorry for the loss of a young life, but have little patience for lethargy and lack of care from the parents who plainly know their child and their fragile state.
How dare you. How dare you make out that Graham did not do enough for Victoria. Clearly you have no respect at all. It has already been said but i will repeat..Graham was and is to Victoria & Jon one of the most loving fathers i have ever come across. Iv never met a father with such a bond to his family. And that includes my own! He would and HAS bent over backwards on many occasions for both of his children. He loves them more than anything in this world and you making insensitive comments like that is out of order. You have no idea of the history of this family. & you clearly have no idea how much pain is being felt by so many people. You have honestly made me sick to my stomach. I do not believe that your comment should have been posted and i also do not believe that this topic should be open for discussion. I hope you never have to feel such pain. & to Big Mac...South Gal is clearly very upset and has lost someone very close to her...maybe if comments stopped being posted by insensitive readers she would not have to go through the process of defending people very close to her heart!!

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south gal says...
7:24pm Mon 8 Mar 10

The only thing is you can not force somebody to do something against there will as it will only make matters worse, some people have different ways of dealing with there emotions as you may understand and appreciate.

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Wupperty says...
7:25pm Mon 8 Mar 10

These services exist so people who need help get help. If it was soley up to parents and friends then who would need a Psychiatric dept? Unfortunatlely, and I speak from experience, living with someone who has mental illness is a rollercoaster. And much if the time is dealing with threats by the individual to harm themsevles or others - the majority of these don't materialise. It's like the boy who cried wolf. A parent/friend can only be there so much. Unfortunatey the Trust only got to see Victoria when she was acting OK - relativley - as she went for help voluntarily. Too easy here to start blaming people when we don't knw all the facts. One fact that seems to be apparent - from the article: a young girl who knew she was sick tried to access a service that she vitally needed and was let down in the worst possible way. My thoughts are with her family and friends.

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southy says...
7:29pm Mon 8 Mar 10

the need is there to debate it and the problems with in the trust services, get to the truth of why it happened and try and prevent it happening again, because if you dont it will go unnoticed and it will happen again, the more people that know the better, the trust was warned about this could or will happen last year at their first open public meeting here in southampton

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Condor Man says...
7:36pm Mon 8 Mar 10

southy wrote:
the need is there to debate it and the problems with in the trust services, get to the truth of why it happened and try and prevent it happening again, because if you dont it will go unnoticed and it will happen again, the more people that know the better, the trust was warned about this could or will happen last year at their first open public meeting here in southampton
I'm sure there are problems but from personal experience with this aspect of the NHS I know staff work really hard to provide an excellent service. OK, there are fat cats creaming off money at the top but you have to blame the government for perpetuating this culture. I'm sure the staff did all they could for this girl. As Stan Collymore recently said depression is the only illness that kills healthy young people. Sadly he's right. I have sincere condolences to the family as I know one day I might face the same issue.

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Big Mac says...
7:46pm Mon 8 Mar 10

I fear that you have maybe misread my sentiment: It was in support of South Gal and her plight at this sad time. She doesn't need this unnecessary distraction, as nor do Vicky's family.

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southy says...
7:47pm Mon 8 Mar 10

Condor Man wrote:
southy wrote:
the need is there to debate it and the problems with in the trust services, get to the truth of why it happened and try and prevent it happening again, because if you dont it will go unnoticed and it will happen again, the more people that know the better, the trust was warned about this could or will happen last year at their first open public meeting here in southampton
I'm sure there are problems but from personal experience with this aspect of the NHS I know staff work really hard to provide an excellent service. OK, there are fat cats creaming off money at the top but you have to blame the government for perpetuating this culture. I'm sure the staff did all they could for this girl. As Stan Collymore recently said depression is the only illness that kills healthy young people. Sadly he's right. I have sincere condolences to the family as I know one day I might face the same issue.
the government is the root cause, this one even more so for not over turning the ruling by the government before, but left it to run has it is. the staff of hospitals and homes do know what is best and what is needed, but there hands are tied behind there backs by the trusts. control should be put back into the staff hands, they put people before money, where has the trust puts money before people.

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Friendly_viva says...
8:03pm Mon 8 Mar 10

I find it incredible that people believe that (although this is a discussion website) this is the correct place to discuss what may and may not have happened to this most beautiful and wonderful young woman. Clearly all this is going to do is upset friends and family of a dearly loved young woman!! Everyone who knew her will indeed be feeling a guilt for what has and hasn't happened for what they did and didn't do but they do not need people who didn't even know Vicky to judge them or her. There seems to be an over whelming feeling that people have a right to comment on what has happened to this family when they don't know her or them. I have no worries about people using this forum as a way to highlight the failures of the institutes who haven't helped in this situation however judging a family and friends of a young woman who felt that she had no other way but to do this is just not right. If you have nothing better to do but comment and judge the grief a family and friends who have just lost someone that they loved and cherish then I think maybe you should look at yourselves and wonder where you are going wrong!! RIP Vicky, Love and condolences to all the family and friends that are grieving for this wonderful young woman!! xxx

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mrsr2006 says...
8:56pm Mon 8 Mar 10

People on here should be leaving messages of condolence to the family and friends of this girl, not arguing over the rights and wrongs. It is a terrible tragedy & a life far too young has been taken.

RIP Victoria & love to all her family & friends...

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south gal says...
10:21pm Mon 8 Mar 10

plese dont take my post as offence i wasnt meaning it in that way at all, i was just stating that if someone wants to be helped they will let you but if they dont they will push you away, and sadly Vicky did want to be helped but the system let her down and in result of that something extremely tragic has happened in the mean time. i do understand that there has to be some sort of debate so that this goes unoticed it was just the horrible message about her father that got me a bit angry with it.

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southy says...
10:37pm Mon 8 Mar 10

south gal wrote:
plese dont take my post as offence i wasnt meaning it in that way at all, i was just stating that if someone wants to be helped they will let you but if they dont they will push you away, and sadly Vicky did want to be helped but the system let her down and in result of that something extremely tragic has happened in the mean time. i do understand that there has to be some sort of debate so that this goes unoticed it was just the horrible message about her father that got me a bit angry with it.
thats ok south gal i do under stand, it not easy i lost a friend back in the mid 80's he suffered manic depression

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south gal says...
10:52pm Mon 8 Mar 10

it is very hard to get your head around, but maybe this sad story will raise awareness that things need to be changed and i pray to god they do, i do not wish this upon any other family as i have seen what it has done to hers, but you never know what the future holds i suppose

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southy says...
11:14pm Mon 8 Mar 10

yes you never know what will happen in the future, but in the mean time we have to fight every nhs closer till a socialist thinking government in power, and me being a socialist i will fight every one in my area, i will go down fighting for what is right, i will not let the nhs get destroyed by the people who put money before people, our forefathers fought so hard for to get.
so any information i get from here i will use it to the best advantage

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Derek of Dibden Purlieu says...
11:23pm Mon 8 Mar 10

southy wrote:
yes you never know what will happen in the future, but in the mean time we have to fight every nhs closer till a socialist thinking government in power, and me being a socialist i will fight every one in my area, i will go down fighting for what is right, i will not let the nhs get destroyed by the people who put money before people, our forefathers fought so hard for to get.
so any information i get from here i will use it to the best advantage
It took a while but eventually the predictable post appeared.

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Sad-Dad says...
6:42am Tue 9 Mar 10

I am sad indeed that some of my family, relatives and friends have been hurt by these remarks, but in fairness to Ted and others, they can only comment on what they read and subsequently interpret from that. No newspaper article can ever hope to precis 22 years worth of family life into a few short pages, and still get every nuance of those lives across successfully. Censorship would only serve to render the comments that did get published as valueless. Honesty of opinion is far more valued, and the individuality of such opinion is expected on this site. Whilst I am touched and grateful for those that have put themselves out on a limb defending me, I have no problem in reading anything that has so far been written. I do honestly believe that I have done my best throughout for Victoria, but over the last 8 years plus I have asked myself time and again if I could have handled a situation differently and got a better result for her. I have no psychiatric training, and have tried countless times to get help for Victoria from those that have. I have questioned on many occasions why someone with a history of genuine suicide attempts would be housed on the 13th floor, and can no longer count the number of times I have flashed the speed camera in Bitterne on my way to her flat in the middle of the night to stop the daughter I deeply love from further pain. At this time more than any other I now question how I could possibly have said or done something that might have changed things, and resulted in Victoria being alive today. And sadly I am sure there is ! - If a parent has a job description, it must be that it is that parent's responsibility to bring their child into the world, protect them, nurture them through childhood and adolescence, equip them with the tools they need to survive and grow in the world around them, and then release them to do just that. If that is accurate, then with Victoria I have failed to honour those noble objectives and indeed have let her down. Without any melodramatic overtones, I will bear that cross to my last day. I deny the suggestion of lethargy however, and truthfully of lack of care. I did leave my daughter yes Ted - I left her in the care of what I believed to be a specialist unit of trained professionals suitably qualified to address issues in Victoria that I could never hope to. This was the first time Victoria had ever allowed this to happen. My son had an interesting observation earlier when reading your comment Ted - his response was that as parents, without psychiatric support, Victoria's mum and I had kept her alive for the last 8 years successfully - frankly, against the odds alot of the time! - We only lost her once she was put into the professional care of people who knew far better than us ! Yes, I acknowledge as a parent that I failed Victoria somehow along the line - but it truly was not through lethargy or lack of care on my part. I am not looking for someone to blame here - that serves no purpose whatsoever - nor do I want, nor will I encourage any form of witch-hunt. Neither of these will bring back the daughter I loved and admired so deeply. I DO want to know if mistakes were made though, and if they were, then I will leave no stone unturned to try and ensure that this country's lack of decent psychiatric care for people like Victoria is changed so that no Mother ever has to go through the torment that her mum is in now; that no brother has to lose his dearly loved and cherished sister as our son has; that no Dad has to suffer the pain inside me now and forever. It is my belief that Victoria's death was completely avoidable. How a qualified Doctor with such a comprehensive history beside him in her records, with current notes from 4 different specialists emphasising her high risk status with recommendations against her discharge, can look at the self-inflicted scars on the face and body of a young 22 year old girl in front of him and tell her she was normal and didn't need help is completely beyond me ! Victoria's illness was treatable, and she could have gone on to have a medical career if she wanted to and lead a perfectly normal and happy life. That opportunity has now been denied her. The Partnership enquiry, albeit internal, will effectively put the Dept of Psychiatry on trial and examine if they made a mistake. The Inquest, which is further reaching and completely independent, will examine whether or not Victoria's death was avoidable. All parties will be examined in this - including myself of course. Regardless of the outcome of either, which may or may not help to save the life of another young Victoria in the future, I will go on until the end of my days wondering how I could have changed things, and carrying my own burden of guilt for losing a daughter who was loved, cherished, respected and valued by so very many, not least of all me.

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Redback says...
8:23am Tue 9 Mar 10

What an incredibly dignified response Mr Nye. God bless you.

I'm sure you didn't fail your daughter. As our children get older, they must be allowed to live their lives. We can never keep them 100% safe forever.

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Ozmosis says...
8:23am Tue 9 Mar 10

My condolences to you and your family, Graham.

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