Pardew could rest stars ahead of Saints game (From Daily Echo)

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

OSPREYSAINT wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

Yes, indeed he never once mentioned a referee to ensure fair play, must be from another planet.

Mush On The Beach wrote:
Extra time followed by penalties would be nice

Tirau Dan wrote:
Ferg said earlier in the season that managers that moan about too many fixtures and tired players are in the wrong game.. unless I'm mistaken his first team turn out pretty much for every game unless injured.

One thing for certain our players will go and go and go and will be stuffed when they come off.. hopefully we'll have too much gas in the tank for Toon and we should get plenty of goals in the net..

Newcastle will be bricking it.. Pards knows that he lost the first encounter and we are a much much better side with more purpose at the moment.. they are on a hiding to nothing and his job could be at stake.

Viva Los Santos COYR

milton road wrote:
In the last 16 games we have played 9 against the top 12 sides only losing 2 of them, 5 of which were away games.
Last 16 games for 22 against 17
5W 8D 3L
Which compares to the first 10 games
1W 1D 8L 14 for 28 against. At which point we had played 6 of the top 12 and lost to them all.
In the returns we have played four of those 6 teams and only lost to man utd.
At present the only team to do the double over us is m utd and we have done the double over villa.
Our goal scoring ratio has been fairly constant around 1.4 whilst our against has dropped from 2.8 after 10 games to around 1.1 in the last 16.

Mush On The Beach wrote:

Tirau Dan wrote:
Ferg said earlier in the season that managers that moan about too many fixtures and tired players are in the wrong game.. unless I'm mistaken his first team turn out pretty much for every game unless injured.

One thing for certain our players will go and go and go and will be stuffed when they come off.. hopefully we'll have too much gas in the tank for Toon and we should get plenty of goals in the net..

Newcastle will be bricking it.. Pards knows that he lost the first encounter and we are a much much better side with more purpose at the moment.. they are on a hiding to nothing and his job could be at stake.

Viva Los Santos COYR

To be fare that’s easy for old red nose to say with the depth of his squads.
Fergie is the master at rotating players and staying in competitions, Wenger is not.
We will need to get on top early and take the crowd out, the Geordies can be a negative vibe on the home team in these pressure games if they are losing.
Viva Los Santos

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.

com/26684/mauricio-p

ochettino-pressing-s

outhampton-tactics-p

hilosophy.html?

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.

com/26684/mauricio-p

ochettino-pressing-s

outhampton-tactics-p

hilosophy.html?

St Retford wrote:
What time is kick off and is it on telly?

Strasbourg Saint wrote:

St Retford wrote:
What time is kick off and is it on telly?

I don't know if it's on telly (probably on a dodgy Internet link, though) but it's a 1.30pm KO in Newcastle, which, in Mancunian time, is probably about 1955. When it come on in black and white, don't say I didn't warn you.

saintshorse101 wrote:

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.


com/26684/mauricio-p


ochettino-pressing-s


outhampton-tactics-p


hilosophy.html?

cheers for that.
a very good and informative post that shows what MP is all about. sounds like he has a good drive and ambition which when combined with NC`s vision and ML`s legacy (money) could mean that we are in for one hell of a good ride as fans.

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

Alicesdad wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

I think you need to be very careful here.Too much information is a dangerous thing !!!


Your explanation of the off side rule in three lines brings the whole concept within the understanding range of women. Worse still it may make it clearer to referees and we can't have that !!

The whole point of the off side rule is to give the home fans a reason to scream and holler when the away team scores a goal. It also gives defences a reason to stand still with their hand in the air and use that as an excuse for their lack of pace in catching the bloke with the ball .. who by now is doing victory cartwheels behind the goal.

Now what you really need to do is add an appendix with the 465 sub clauses and subtleties that make this rule difficult for women, referees and of course ..... Americans.

Pandoras box must remain closed !!

TheSaintsMan wrote:
It should be a great game! As long as we keep a hold on Moussa Sissoko, which is a job for Jack Cork, we should be fine.

Confucious wrote:

Alicesdad wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

I think you need to be very careful here.Too much information is a dangerous thing !!!


Your explanation of the off side rule in three lines brings the whole concept within the understanding range of women. Worse still it may make it clearer to referees and we can't have that !!

The whole point of the off side rule is to give the home fans a reason to scream and holler when the away team scores a goal. It also gives defences a reason to stand still with their hand in the air and use that as an excuse for their lack of pace in catching the bloke with the ball .. who by now is doing victory cartwheels behind the goal.

Now what you really need to do is add an appendix with the 465 sub clauses and subtleties that make this rule difficult for women, referees and of course ..... Americans.

Pandoras box must remain closed !!

Fair point and duly noted Alicesdad.

My friend from Mars, who visits me in the middle of the night every few weeks, told me they would never have refs there, as they are by nature 100% honest and 100% forgiving.

With that level of tolerance I presumed he'd be just as happy to call on chums in Portsmouth as the likes of me in the Forest.

But no! Even them Martians won't go near there. In fact he told me they have a song about it....

Uuul lk ghakal butrrghtdly Pompey
Cgbakkar han gruokl getto hu
Jhansdhga banhgsje shs sjdjfhe
Jifhjf dhjdo Poo!

Obviously, he's not a bad sort at all really.

St Retford wrote:

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.


com/26684/mauricio-p


ochettino-pressing-s


outhampton-tactics-p


hilosophy.html?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Read this everyone!

Nicola has unearthed a bit of a gem, hasn't he? And he was right - it was perfect timing to bring MP in when he did, given all the breaks in the schedule at the moment which have given him the time to really mould the team to his liking.

Confucious wrote:

Alicesdad wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

I think you need to be very careful here.Too much information is a dangerous thing !!!


Your explanation of the off side rule in three lines brings the whole concept within the understanding range of women. Worse still it may make it clearer to referees and we can't have that !!

The whole point of the off side rule is to give the home fans a reason to scream and holler when the away team scores a goal. It also gives defences a reason to stand still with their hand in the air and use that as an excuse for their lack of pace in catching the bloke with the ball .. who by now is doing victory cartwheels behind the goal.

Now what you really need to do is add an appendix with the 465 sub clauses and subtleties that make this rule difficult for women, referees and of course ..... Americans.

Pandoras box must remain closed !!

Fair point and duly noted Alicesdad.

My friend from Mars, who visits me in the middle of the night every few weeks, told me they would never have refs there, as they are by nature 100% honest and 100% forgiving.

With that level of tolerance I presumed he'd be just as happy to call on chums in Portsmouth as the likes of me in the Forest.

But no! Even them Martians won't go near there. In fact he told me they have a song about it....

Uuul lk ghakal butrrghtdly Pompey
Cgbakkar han gruokl getto hu
Jhansdhga banhgsje shs sjdjfhe
Jifhjf dhjdo Poo!

Obviously, he's not a bad sort at all really.

OSPREYSAINT wrote:

Confucious wrote:

Alicesdad wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

I think you need to be very careful here.Too much information is a dangerous thing !!!


Your explanation of the off side rule in three lines brings the whole concept within the understanding range of women. Worse still it may make it clearer to referees and we can't have that !!

The whole point of the off side rule is to give the home fans a reason to scream and holler when the away team scores a goal. It also gives defences a reason to stand still with their hand in the air and use that as an excuse for their lack of pace in catching the bloke with the ball .. who by now is doing victory cartwheels behind the goal.

Now what you really need to do is add an appendix with the 465 sub clauses and subtleties that make this rule difficult for women, referees and of course ..... Americans.

Pandoras box must remain closed !!

Fair point and duly noted Alicesdad.

My friend from Mars, who visits me in the middle of the night every few weeks, told me they would never have refs there, as they are by nature 100% honest and 100% forgiving.

With that level of tolerance I presumed he'd be just as happy to call on chums in Portsmouth as the likes of me in the Forest.

But no! Even them Martians won't go near there. In fact he told me they have a song about it....

Uuul lk ghakal butrrghtdly Pompey
Cgbakkar han gruokl getto hu
Jhansdhga banhgsje shs sjdjfhe
Jifhjf dhjdo Poo!

Obviously, he's not a bad sort at all really.

Sounds more like Vogon poetry to me, one of their construction fleets could do a world of good in the Nottarf area.

El Santo wrote:

St Retford wrote:

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.



com/26684/mauricio-p



ochettino-pressing-s



outhampton-tactics-p



hilosophy.html?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Read this everyone!

Nicola has unearthed a bit of a gem, hasn't he? And he was right - it was perfect timing to bring MP in when he did, given all the breaks in the schedule at the moment which have given him the time to really mould the team to his liking.

Still, he could have done it taking the fans into consideration and without humiliating the guy that won back to back promotions. Just a good explanation would've sufficed.

St Retford wrote:

El Santo wrote:

St Retford wrote:

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.




com/26684/mauricio-p




ochettino-pressing-s




outhampton-tactics-p




hilosophy.html?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Read this everyone!

Nicola has unearthed a bit of a gem, hasn't he? And he was right - it was perfect timing to bring MP in when he did, given all the breaks in the schedule at the moment which have given him the time to really mould the team to his liking.

Still, he could have done it taking the fans into consideration and without humiliating the guy that won back to back promotions. Just a good explanation would've sufficed.

I don't think Nigel was humiliated. I think he was fully expecting to go in the summer but Nicola said to him he'd let him take the team to Anfield before replacing him. Everyone's a winner.

St Retford wrote:
Anyway, here's some food for thought: Pompey have just over two months to complete a sale or else they'll be thrown out of the league. I can't see their court hearing happening within the next month. Therefore, even if the judge rules Fratton Park is indeed worth f*** all, they'll have a maximum of one month to convert all those pledges and sort out all the legal business or else they're done for. And that's assuming Keith Harris doesn't cause more delays to the legal process.

I would wager it's mission impossible.

:(

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:
There is only one conclusion possible to this whole saga and that is, WTFILN?

St Retford wrote:
But they can't even arrange a hearing to set a date for a hearing. It's a shitstorm!

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

slugger wrote:

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

true story , I took a risk though as my boss is also a skate (with no sense of humor) ............ It was a strange house with the obligitory "no front garden" but the middle bedroom has a pole dancing pole in it with loads of cushions to break ones fall ......... have I stumbled on Kent's lair ?

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

slugger wrote:

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

true story , I took a risk though as my boss is also a skate (with no sense of humor) ............ It was a strange house with the obligitory "no front garden" but the middle bedroom has a pole dancing pole in it with loads of cushions to break ones fall ......... have I stumbled on Kent's lair ?

Torch the place. Covers up your crime and deals with kunt. Double whammy!

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

When they were in the prem, a business acquaintance who was a big time skate fan sorted a financial deal for me which saved me a lot of money. I had a friend (fellow Saint) who worked at the training ground at Eastleigh so I arranged for the skate to get an autographed shirt. I had it all framed up for him but I had the Saints crest and the words 'Supplied by Scummers' etched into the frame which couldn't be removed! Priceless!


STID

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

When they were in the prem, a business acquaintance who was a big time skate fan sorted a financial deal for me which saved me a lot of money. I had a friend (fellow Saint) who worked at the training ground at Eastleigh so I arranged for the skate to get an autographed shirt. I had it all framed up for him but I had the Saints crest and the words 'Supplied by Scummers' etched into the frame which couldn't be removed! Priceless!


STID

Ok my turn. When I moved the skunts up to head office from the bankrupt and highly indebted pompey company I bought, I had all the Saints great names as manifestations on the glass bowl I keep them in, together with the club crest.

slugger wrote:

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

slugger wrote:

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

true story , I took a risk though as my boss is also a skate (with no sense of humor) ............ It was a strange house with the obligitory "no front garden" but the middle bedroom has a pole dancing pole in it with loads of cushions to break ones fall ......... have I stumbled on Kent's lair ?

Torch the place. Covers up your crime and deals with kunt. Double whammy!

But I so want him to read it ....... I'll go back and torch it on friday .

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

When they were in the prem, a business acquaintance who was a big time skate fan sorted a financial deal for me which saved me a lot of money. I had a friend (fellow Saint) who worked at the training ground at Eastleigh so I arranged for the skate to get an autographed shirt. I had it all framed up for him but I had the Saints crest and the words 'Supplied by Scummers' etched into the frame which couldn't be removed! Priceless!


STID

Ok my turn. When I moved the skunts up to head office from the bankrupt and highly indebted pompey company I bought, I had all the Saints great names as manifestations on the glass bowl I keep them in, together with the club crest.

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

slugger wrote:

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

true story , I took a risk though as my boss is also a skate (with no sense of humor) ............ It was a strange house with the obligitory "no front garden" but the middle bedroom has a pole dancing pole in it with loads of cushions to break ones fall ......... have I stumbled on Kent's lair ?

Torch the place. Covers up your crime and deals with kunt. Double whammy!

But I so want him to read it ....... I'll go back and torch it on friday .

I hope you remembered to clean the inside of your btm with his toothbrush! Slug?
If you go back Friday please complete this mission.It also helps to find a camera in the house, take a pic (or even better, video) of such actions for the skate to discover at a later date!


STID

st1halo wrote:

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

When they were in the prem, a business acquaintance who was a big time skate fan sorted a financial deal for me which saved me a lot of money. I had a friend (fellow Saint) who worked at the training ground at Eastleigh so I arranged for the skate to get an autographed shirt. I had it all framed up for him but I had the Saints crest and the words 'Supplied by Scummers' etched into the frame which couldn't be removed! Priceless!


STID

Ok my turn. When I moved the skunts up to head office from the bankrupt and highly indebted pompey company I bought, I had all the Saints great names as manifestations on the glass bowl I keep them in, together with the club crest.

Class!
Do you force them to go to SMS for Xmas parties?

STID

slugger wrote:

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

slugger wrote:

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

true story , I took a risk though as my boss is also a skate (with no sense of humor) ............ It was a strange house with the obligitory "no front garden" but the middle bedroom has a pole dancing pole in it with loads of cushions to break ones fall ......... have I stumbled on Kent's lair ?

Torch the place. Covers up your crime and deals with kunt. Double whammy!

But I so want him to read it ....... I'll go back and torch it on friday .

I hope you remembered to clean the inside of your btm with his toothbrush! Slug?
If you go back Friday please complete this mission.It also helps to find a camera in the house, take a pic (or even better, video) of such actions for the skate to discover at a later date!


STID

I'm not a fan of the toothbrush up the 'arris ...... too great a risk of personal infection .......... a favorite response to a horrible customer is to "top up their listerine" if you know what I mean ? ...... never ever pee off a person who has access to every room in your home is my advice ;o)

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

slugger wrote:

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

true story , I took a risk though as my boss is also a skate (with no sense of humor) ............ It was a strange house with the obligitory "no front garden" but the middle bedroom has a pole dancing pole in it with loads of cushions to break ones fall ......... have I stumbled on Kent's lair ?

Torch the place. Covers up your crime and deals with kunt. Double whammy!

But I so want him to read it ....... I'll go back and torch it on friday .

I hope you remembered to clean the inside of your btm with his toothbrush! Slug?
If you go back Friday please complete this mission.It also helps to find a camera in the house, take a pic (or even better, video) of such actions for the skate to discover at a later date!


STID

I'm not a fan of the toothbrush up the 'arris ...... too great a risk of personal infection .......... a favorite response to a horrible customer is to "top up their listerine" if you know what I mean ? ...... never ever pee off a person who has access to every room in your home is my advice ;o)

I'll bear that in mind!
I hope the "listerine top-up" is standard part of the service for skate customers!

STID

slugger wrote:

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:

st1halo wrote:

slugger wrote:

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

slugger wrote:

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

true story , I took a risk though as my boss is also a skate (with no sense of humor) ............ It was a strange house with the obligitory "no front garden" but the middle bedroom has a pole dancing pole in it with loads of cushions to break ones fall ......... have I stumbled on Kent's lair ?

Torch the place. Covers up your crime and deals with kunt. Double whammy!

But I so want him to read it ....... I'll go back and torch it on friday .

I hope you remembered to clean the inside of your btm with his toothbrush! Slug?
If you go back Friday please complete this mission.It also helps to find a camera in the house, take a pic (or even better, video) of such actions for the skate to discover at a later date!


STID

I'm not a fan of the toothbrush up the 'arris ...... too great a risk of personal infection .......... a favorite response to a horrible customer is to "top up their listerine" if you know what I mean ? ...... never ever pee off a person who has access to every room in your home is my advice ;o)

I'll bear that in mind!
I hope the "listerine top-up" is standard part of the service for skate customers!

STID

Standard practice , whilst an apprentice I was taught by the best ......... COYR !

OSPREYSAINT wrote:

Confucious wrote:

Alicesdad wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

I think you need to be very careful here.Too much information is a dangerous thing !!!


Your explanation of the off side rule in three lines brings the whole concept within the understanding range of women. Worse still it may make it clearer to referees and we can't have that !!

The whole point of the off side rule is to give the home fans a reason to scream and holler when the away team scores a goal. It also gives defences a reason to stand still with their hand in the air and use that as an excuse for their lack of pace in catching the bloke with the ball .. who by now is doing victory cartwheels behind the goal.

Now what you really need to do is add an appendix with the 465 sub clauses and subtleties that make this rule difficult for women, referees and of course ..... Americans.

Pandoras box must remain closed !!

Fair point and duly noted Alicesdad.

My friend from Mars, who visits me in the middle of the night every few weeks, told me they would never have refs there, as they are by nature 100% honest and 100% forgiving.

With that level of tolerance I presumed he'd be just as happy to call on chums in Portsmouth as the likes of me in the Forest.

But no! Even them Martians won't go near there. In fact he told me they have a song about it....

Uuul lk ghakal butrrghtdly Pompey
Cgbakkar han gruokl getto hu
Jhansdhga banhgsje shs sjdjfhe
Jifhjf dhjdo Poo!

Obviously, he's not a bad sort at all really.

Sounds more like Vogon poetry to me, one of their construction fleets could do a world of good in the Nottarf area.

OSPREYSAINT wrote:

OSPREYSAINT wrote:

Confucious wrote:

Alicesdad wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

I think you need to be very careful here.Too much information is a dangerous thing !!!


Your explanation of the off side rule in three lines brings the whole concept within the understanding range of women. Worse still it may make it clearer to referees and we can't have that !!

The whole point of the off side rule is to give the home fans a reason to scream and holler when the away team scores a goal. It also gives defences a reason to stand still with their hand in the air and use that as an excuse for their lack of pace in catching the bloke with the ball .. who by now is doing victory cartwheels behind the goal.

Now what you really need to do is add an appendix with the 465 sub clauses and subtleties that make this rule difficult for women, referees and of course ..... Americans.

Pandoras box must remain closed !!

Fair point and duly noted Alicesdad.

My friend from Mars, who visits me in the middle of the night every few weeks, told me they would never have refs there, as they are by nature 100% honest and 100% forgiving.

With that level of tolerance I presumed he'd be just as happy to call on chums in Portsmouth as the likes of me in the Forest.

But no! Even them Martians won't go near there. In fact he told me they have a song about it....

Uuul lk ghakal butrrghtdly Pompey
Cgbakkar han gruokl getto hu
Jhansdhga banhgsje shs sjdjfhe
Jifhjf dhjdo Poo!

Obviously, he's not a bad sort at all really.

Sounds more like Vogon poetry to me, one of their construction fleets could do a world of good in the Nottarf area.

The aliens favourite chant at the moment is "Oh when the Saints go Martian in".

Tony in Liberia wrote:

OSPREYSAINT wrote:

OSPREYSAINT wrote:

Confucious wrote:

Alicesdad wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

I think you need to be very careful here.Too much information is a dangerous thing !!!


Your explanation of the off side rule in three lines brings the whole concept within the understanding range of women. Worse still it may make it clearer to referees and we can't have that !!

The whole point of the off side rule is to give the home fans a reason to scream and holler when the away team scores a goal. It also gives defences a reason to stand still with their hand in the air and use that as an excuse for their lack of pace in catching the bloke with the ball .. who by now is doing victory cartwheels behind the goal.

Now what you really need to do is add an appendix with the 465 sub clauses and subtleties that make this rule difficult for women, referees and of course ..... Americans.

Pandoras box must remain closed !!

Fair point and duly noted Alicesdad.

My friend from Mars, who visits me in the middle of the night every few weeks, told me they would never have refs there, as they are by nature 100% honest and 100% forgiving.

With that level of tolerance I presumed he'd be just as happy to call on chums in Portsmouth as the likes of me in the Forest.

But no! Even them Martians won't go near there. In fact he told me they have a song about it....

Uuul lk ghakal butrrghtdly Pompey
Cgbakkar han gruokl getto hu
Jhansdhga banhgsje shs sjdjfhe
Jifhjf dhjdo Poo!

Obviously, he's not a bad sort at all really.

Sounds more like Vogon poetry to me, one of their construction fleets could do a world of good in the Nottarf area.

The aliens favourite chant at the moment is "Oh when the Saints go Martian in".

I understand another favourite is ".... makes Ntwgnyphna Ping look sh1te".


I should probably point out that Ntwgnyphna Ping plays in he hole for Ngsplnph United on the planet Zog.

St Retford wrote:
Sooooooo, Benaligate, then. The whole carpet/wooden floor thing appears to be cr@p. Turns out Franny wasn't happy about the state of the hob. Plus the swimming pool wasn't cleaned and the Sky subscription wasn't paid. That, he says, is worth 33 grand.

Does Franny have a cooker made out of diamonds?

warrens 76 wrote:
Back in the mists of time we were in the old Cup winners cup which to many was as big and a **** sight more exciting than the European cup..

Corporate interests ie Europes elite wanted everything to themselves..still do and therefore removed the CWC..

For those too young we would have won the **** thing had the ref not been bribed...

..seriously Anderlecht were found guilty of bribery two years later..

We had a goal disallowed after 9 minutes over in Brussels, a penalty denied on 85...

In the replay we went 2-0 up and I have never to this day heard a roar like it..

...then the ref mindful of his Anderlecht obligations allowed a goal from them which was at least 30 yards offside...

First time a referee had to be given a police escort at the Dell..crowd would of lynched him..

saintkenny wrote:

St Retford wrote:

El Santo wrote:

St Retford wrote:

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.





com/26684/mauricio-p





ochettino-pressing-s





outhampton-tactics-p





hilosophy.html?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Read this everyone!

Nicola has unearthed a bit of a gem, hasn't he? And he was right - it was perfect timing to bring MP in when he did, given all the breaks in the schedule at the moment which have given him the time to really mould the team to his liking.

Still, he could have done it taking the fans into consideration and without humiliating the guy that won back to back promotions. Just a good explanation would've sufficed.

I don't think Nigel was humiliated. I think he was fully expecting to go in the summer but Nicola said to him he'd let him take the team to Anfield before replacing him. Everyone's a winner.

only the way it was announced nigel knew he was going before the chelsea game .forren deal had already been set up .mp had been watching the team for 5 weeks .it was only sudden to the media not privatley .nigel will be paid off well .now lets move on .i hope sky blues sort there club out and get nigel there .they were brilliant on promotion day

El Santo wrote:

saintkenny wrote:

St Retford wrote:

El Santo wrote:

St Retford wrote:

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.






com/26684/mauricio-p






ochettino-pressing-s






outhampton-tactics-p






hilosophy.html?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Read this everyone!

Nicola has unearthed a bit of a gem, hasn't he? And he was right - it was perfect timing to bring MP in when he did, given all the breaks in the schedule at the moment which have given him the time to really mould the team to his liking.

Still, he could have done it taking the fans into consideration and without humiliating the guy that won back to back promotions. Just a good explanation would've sufficed.

I don't think Nigel was humiliated. I think he was fully expecting to go in the summer but Nicola said to him he'd let him take the team to Anfield before replacing him. Everyone's a winner.

only the way it was announced nigel knew he was going before the chelsea game .forren deal had already been set up .mp had been watching the team for 5 weeks .it was only sudden to the media not privatley .nigel will be paid off well .now lets move on .i hope sky blues sort there club out and get nigel there .they were brilliant on promotion day

OK, that's all speculation from you guys. The hard fact is that there was no explanations to the fans, not even a press conference (same as MP did in Espanyol to say goodbye, with the Espanyol chairman acknowledging work done). I have moved on, but please don't present NC as a genius because he isn't. He is good, yes, but not perfect. Having said that, I am very happy with Pochie and think he is even better than NA.

St Retford wrote:

El Santo wrote:

saintkenny wrote:

St Retford wrote:

El Santo wrote:

St Retford wrote:

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.







com/26684/mauricio-p







ochettino-pressing-s







outhampton-tactics-p







hilosophy.html?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Read this everyone!

Nicola has unearthed a bit of a gem, hasn't he? And he was right - it was perfect timing to bring MP in when he did, given all the breaks in the schedule at the moment which have given him the time to really mould the team to his liking.

Still, he could have done it taking the fans into consideration and without humiliating the guy that won back to back promotions. Just a good explanation would've sufficed.

I don't think Nigel was humiliated. I think he was fully expecting to go in the summer but Nicola said to him he'd let him take the team to Anfield before replacing him. Everyone's a winner.

only the way it was announced nigel knew he was going before the chelsea game .forren deal had already been set up .mp had been watching the team for 5 weeks .it was only sudden to the media not privatley .nigel will be paid off well .now lets move on .i hope sky blues sort there club out and get nigel there .they were brilliant on promotion day

OK, that's all speculation from you guys. The hard fact is that there was no explanations to the fans, not even a press conference (same as MP did in Espanyol to say goodbye, with the Espanyol chairman acknowledging work done). I have moved on, but please don't present NC as a genius because he isn't. He is good, yes, but not perfect. Having said that, I am very happy with Pochie and think he is even better than NA.

I'm not saying he's perfect. For thing he's blatantly a very messy chef.

(Allegedly etc etc etc)

St Retford wrote:

El Santo wrote:

saintkenny wrote:

St Retford wrote:

El Santo wrote:

St Retford wrote:

damoose wrote:
The best piece ive read about MP and our new style


http://www.eplindex.







com/26684/mauricio-p







ochettino-pressing-s







outhampton-tactics-p







hilosophy.html?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Read this everyone!

Nicola has unearthed a bit of a gem, hasn't he? And he was right - it was perfect timing to bring MP in when he did, given all the breaks in the schedule at the moment which have given him the time to really mould the team to his liking.

Still, he could have done it taking the fans into consideration and without humiliating the guy that won back to back promotions. Just a good explanation would've sufficed.

I don't think Nigel was humiliated. I think he was fully expecting to go in the summer but Nicola said to him he'd let him take the team to Anfield before replacing him. Everyone's a winner.

only the way it was announced nigel knew he was going before the chelsea game .forren deal had already been set up .mp had been watching the team for 5 weeks .it was only sudden to the media not privatley .nigel will be paid off well .now lets move on .i hope sky blues sort there club out and get nigel there .they were brilliant on promotion day

OK, that's all speculation from you guys. The hard fact is that there was no explanations to the fans, not even a press conference (same as MP did in Espanyol to say goodbye, with the Espanyol chairman acknowledging work done). I have moved on, but please don't present NC as a genius because he isn't. He is good, yes, but not perfect. Having said that, I am very happy with Pochie and think he is even better than NA.

I'm not saying he's perfect. For thing he's blatantly a very messy chef.

(Allegedly etc etc etc)

One Heart....One Vision wrote:
On a different issue.....I see that surprise surprise a new anti Saints story is out regarding the Benali story. I wonder why we can't comment?.

Surely this is a private issue and a matter for the courts?

I am sick and ashamed of the ECHO for stirring it up....Jeckal & Hyde reporting....again and again.

SHAME ON YOU ECHO......do you realise what a joke of a paper you have become?....eve more than Poopey's owners !!!!.

Just look at your paper sales and you can see that you are loosing readers.....soon you'll be joining Poopey in Administration.

Get your act together please....in my unbiased opinion.

warrens 76 wrote:
Not looking good for Pistorious, apparantly along with the bloodied cricket bat they found two stumps.

Seedhouse the Unrepentant wrote:

One Heart....One Vision wrote:
On a different issue.....I see that surprise surprise a new anti Saints story is out regarding the Benali story. I wonder why we can't comment?.

Surely this is a private issue and a matter for the courts?

I am sick and ashamed of the ECHO for stirring it up....Jeckal & Hyde reporting....again and again.

SHAME ON YOU ECHO......do you realise what a joke of a paper you have become?....eve more than Poopey's owners !!!!.

Just look at your paper sales and you can see that you are loosing readers.....soon you'll be joining Poopey in Administration.

Get your act together please....in my unbiased opinion.

It can't be both a private issue AND a matter for the courts. The courts are in the public domain. You and I can sit in the public gallery and listen to both arguments if we so wish. The media can report on it if they so wish.

One things for sure - unless they reach an out of court settlement - we will know who is right and who is wrong come judgement day.

Confucious wrote:
I regret to report that I have just finished briefing my lawyer on my prospective suit against the club.

Two years ago I negotiated an ambassadorial role to represent the club on this site - at £4.20 per month plus a free coffee and twix bar on match days.

After six months, the money stopped and I was refused my coffee and twix at the Kingsland refreshment bar.

The club is claiming that whilst my posts on here have been markedly more intelligent and perceptive than the average contribution, I nonetheless put the club in a bad light in two posts made in 2012...

1. Saying that the"cheapskate" mens' urinal troughs projected only 4" from the walls causing even blokes with normal sized willies to fall short and pee all over the floor.

2. Suggesting that all fat supporters (especially those with wind issues) should, for the comfort of regular sized fans, be confined to a 'Jumbly' ' Stand at Itchen North where a giant fan should be installed to blow co-ordinated mass f@rts at the away support.

My case is that my constructive criticism was compatible with an "ambassadorial role" and that I am therefore owed £58.60 and 21 free coffees twix bars.

I have written to Le Tiss asking him to permit and endorse the following quote which would be attributed to him:

"This is an outrage. Confucious is a Saints legend and yet he's being treated like a big lump of sh!te found and sat upon by the Queen herself on the back seat of her Rolls Royce. He's worth at least £28.70 a month plus six coffees, ten twix bars and three sherbert dips or a box of licorice allsorts."

I have not heard back from Le Tiss yet, but have no doubt he will rally to my cause. Us legends stick together!

One Heart....One Vision wrote:
On a different issue.....I see that surprise surprise a new anti Saints story is out regarding the Benali story. I wonder why we can't comment?.

Surely this is a private issue and a matter for the courts?

I am sick and ashamed of the ECHO for stirring it up....Jeckal & Hyde reporting....again and again.

SHAME ON YOU ECHO......do you realise what a joke of a paper you have become?....eve more than Poopey's owners !!!!.

Just look at your paper sales and you can see that you are loosing readers.....soon you'll be joining Poopey in Administration.

Get your act together please....in my unbiased opinion.

slugger wrote:

St Retford wrote:

slugger wrote:
I was working in deepest darkest Pompey today , householder was at work so I had the place to myself , in the hallway I noticed a small plaque on the wall saying " sha la la la " ect ect , ending with the words "we sent the scummers down" ......... I wonder if the occupant has noticed the little sticker I put underneath it yet ? ........... it just read "WTFILN ?" ........ couldn't resist !

Haha - massive 'like'.

true story , I took a risk though as my boss is also a skate (with no sense of humor) ............ It was a strange house with the obligitory "no front garden" but the middle bedroom has a pole dancing pole in it with loads of cushions to break ones fall ......... have I stumbled on Kent's lair ?

warrens 76 wrote:
I think a private meeting between you and NC over a coffee and biscuits which as a matter of honour should be off the table as regards any potential outcome but on the table for issues of practicality..

Be-twixt and between the lines, i think your case has legal precedent..

In the case of 'Freebie and the Bean' versus Hoblers old boy's...judge Leef-Peek- Frean in his summing up
adjudged that a promise to supply free coffee beans in return for a fortnightly packet of Hob Nobs was by it's nature and intent a binding contract..

Furthermore this contractual position could not be offset by the introduction of a lesser biscuit offered by the defendant, namely a tesco value digestive with every coffeee consumed.

Inter alia your claim having a clear denial of service sets a dangerous and worrying precedent which the courts must resist.

st1halo wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I regret to report that I have just finished briefing my lawyer on my prospective suit against the club.

Two years ago I negotiated an ambassadorial role to represent the club on this site - at £4.20 per month plus a free coffee and twix bar on match days.

After six months, the money stopped and I was refused my coffee and twix at the Kingsland refreshment bar.

The club is claiming that whilst my posts on here have been markedly more intelligent and perceptive than the average contribution, I nonetheless put the club in a bad light in two posts made in 2012...

1. Saying that the"cheapskate" mens' urinal troughs projected only 4" from the walls causing even blokes with normal sized willies to fall short and pee all over the floor.

2. Suggesting that all fat supporters (especially those with wind issues) should, for the comfort of regular sized fans, be confined to a 'Jumbly' ' Stand at Itchen North where a giant fan should be installed to blow co-ordinated mass f@rts at the away support.

My case is that my constructive criticism was compatible with an "ambassadorial role" and that I am therefore owed £58.60 and 21 free coffees twix bars.

I have written to Le Tiss asking him to permit and endorse the following quote which would be attributed to him:

"This is an outrage. Confucious is a Saints legend and yet he's being treated like a big lump of sh!te found and sat upon by the Queen herself on the back seat of her Rolls Royce. He's worth at least £28.70 a month plus six coffees, ten twix bars and three sherbert dips or a box of licorice allsorts."

I have not heard back from Le Tiss yet, but have no doubt he will rally to my cause. Us legends stick together!

Good luck Confucious, we're all with you!

One question though .. Why were you in SMS toilets with a tape measure?

STID

st1halo wrote:

warrens 76 wrote:
Not looking good for Pistorious, apparantly along with the bloodied cricket bat they found two stumps.

Apparently part of his defence will be too much alcohol. He's already saying he was legless at the time

st1halo wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I regret to report that I have just finished briefing my lawyer on my prospective suit against the club.

Two years ago I negotiated an ambassadorial role to represent the club on this site - at £4.20 per month plus a free coffee and twix bar on match days.

After six months, the money stopped and I was refused my coffee and twix at the Kingsland refreshment bar.

The club is claiming that whilst my posts on here have been markedly more intelligent and perceptive than the average contribution, I nonetheless put the club in a bad light in two posts made in 2012...

1. Saying that the"cheapskate" mens' urinal troughs projected only 4" from the walls causing even blokes with normal sized willies to fall short and pee all over the floor.

2. Suggesting that all fat supporters (especially those with wind issues) should, for the comfort of regular sized fans, be confined to a 'Jumbly' ' Stand at Itchen North where a giant fan should be installed to blow co-ordinated mass f@rts at the away support.

My case is that my constructive criticism was compatible with an "ambassadorial role" and that I am therefore owed £58.60 and 21 free coffees twix bars.

I have written to Le Tiss asking him to permit and endorse the following quote which would be attributed to him:

"This is an outrage. Confucious is a Saints legend and yet he's being treated like a big lump of sh!te found and sat upon by the Queen herself on the back seat of her Rolls Royce. He's worth at least £28.70 a month plus six coffees, ten twix bars and three sherbert dips or a box of licorice allsorts."

I have not heard back from Le Tiss yet, but have no doubt he will rally to my cause. Us legends stick together!

Good luck Confucious, we're all with you!

One question though .. Why were you in SMS toilets with a tape measure?

STID

Confucious wrote:

warrens 76 wrote:
I think a private meeting between you and NC over a coffee and biscuits which as a matter of honour should be off the table as regards any potential outcome but on the table for issues of practicality..

Be-twixt and between the lines, i think your case has legal precedent..

In the case of 'Freebie and the Bean' versus Hoblers old boy's...judge Leef-Peek- Frean in his summing up
adjudged that a promise to supply free coffee beans in return for a fortnightly packet of Hob Nobs was by it's nature and intent a binding contract..

Furthermore this contractual position could not be offset by the introduction of a lesser biscuit offered by the defendant, namely a tesco value digestive with every coffeee consumed.

Inter alia your claim having a clear denial of service sets a dangerous and worrying precedent which the courts must resist.

Thanks Warrens, much appreciated.

I'll try and phone my lawyer at Wilson Wilson and Wilson this morning to put him in the picture - though it does mean going through that boring kerfuffle again and again every time I ask for Mr Wilson.

I'm surprised they didn't give me the good info you've got and I've a good mind to change legal firms. They let me down last year when I lost my case against a big grocery chain. Somehow they got off compensating me by claiming that the trout I found in my carton of milk was 'purely circumstantial evidence'.

warrens 76 wrote:
Not looking good for Pistorious, apparantly along with the bloodied cricket bat they found two stumps.

st1halo wrote:

warrens 76 wrote:
Not looking good for Pistorious, apparantly along with the bloodied cricket bat they found two stumps.

Apparently part of his defence will be too much alcohol. He's already saying he was legless at the time

st1halo wrote:

st1halo wrote:

warrens 76 wrote: Not looking good for Pistorious, apparantly along with the bloodied cricket bat they found two stumps.

Apparently part of his defence will be too much alcohol. He's already saying he was legless at the time

HEADLINE Pistorius tells his pist story to us! STID

Confucious wrote:

st1halo wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I regret to report that I have just finished briefing my lawyer on my prospective suit against the club.

Two years ago I negotiated an ambassadorial role to represent the club on this site - at £4.20 per month plus a free coffee and twix bar on match days.

After six months, the money stopped and I was refused my coffee and twix at the Kingsland refreshment bar.

The club is claiming that whilst my posts on here have been markedly more intelligent and perceptive than the average contribution, I nonetheless put the club in a bad light in two posts made in 2012...

1. Saying that the"cheapskate" mens' urinal troughs projected only 4" from the walls causing even blokes with normal sized willies to fall short and pee all over the floor.

2. Suggesting that all fat supporters (especially those with wind issues) should, for the comfort of regular sized fans, be confined to a 'Jumbly' ' Stand at Itchen North where a giant fan should be installed to blow co-ordinated mass f@rts at the away support.

My case is that my constructive criticism was compatible with an "ambassadorial role" and that I am therefore owed £58.60 and 21 free coffees twix bars.

I have written to Le Tiss asking him to permit and endorse the following quote which would be attributed to him:

"This is an outrage. Confucious is a Saints legend and yet he's being treated like a big lump of sh!te found and sat upon by the Queen herself on the back seat of her Rolls Royce. He's worth at least £28.70 a month plus six coffees, ten twix bars and three sherbert dips or a box of licorice allsorts."

I have not heard back from Le Tiss yet, but have no doubt he will rally to my cause. Us legends stick together!

Good luck Confucious, we're all with you!

One question though .. Why were you in SMS toilets with a tape measure?

STID

I needed it to measure the urinal depth. The statistic on the average length of Saints supporters' willies, however, is based on a question survey I conducted at the exit with a sample of 327 blokes. The average willy length claimed was seven inches, but this was adjusted to four and a half inches, as there's a known overclaim factor of 65% on all self declared willy length surveys. A further adjustment of 4.2% was made as the survey was done on a slightly colder than usual day. I checked this myself in a controlled experiment showing that my own eight inch willy contracts by one eighth of an inch with every degree centigrade below 31.

st1halo wrote:

Confucious wrote:

st1halo wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I regret to report that I have just finished briefing my lawyer on my prospective suit against the club.

Two years ago I negotiated an ambassadorial role to represent the club on this site - at £4.20 per month plus a free coffee and twix bar on match days.

After six months, the money stopped and I was refused my coffee and twix at the Kingsland refreshment bar.

The club is claiming that whilst my posts on here have been markedly more intelligent and perceptive than the average contribution, I nonetheless put the club in a bad light in two posts made in 2012...

1. Saying that the"cheapskate" mens' urinal troughs projected only 4" from the walls causing even blokes with normal sized willies to fall short and pee all over the floor.

2. Suggesting that all fat supporters (especially those with wind issues) should, for the comfort of regular sized fans, be confined to a 'Jumbly' ' Stand at Itchen North where a giant fan should be installed to blow co-ordinated mass f@rts at the away support.

My case is that my constructive criticism was compatible with an "ambassadorial role" and that I am therefore owed £58.60 and 21 free coffees twix bars.

I have written to Le Tiss asking him to permit and endorse the following quote which would be attributed to him:

"This is an outrage. Confucious is a Saints legend and yet he's being treated like a big lump of sh!te found and sat upon by the Queen herself on the back seat of her Rolls Royce. He's worth at least £28.70 a month plus six coffees, ten twix bars and three sherbert dips or a box of licorice allsorts."

I have not heard back from Le Tiss yet, but have no doubt he will rally to my cause. Us legends stick together!

Good luck Confucious, we're all with you!

One question though .. Why were you in SMS toilets with a tape measure?

STID

I needed it to measure the urinal depth. The statistic on the average length of Saints supporters' willies, however, is based on a question survey I conducted at the exit with a sample of 327 blokes. The average willy length claimed was seven inches, but this was adjusted to four and a half inches, as there's a known overclaim factor of 65% on all self declared willy length surveys. A further adjustment of 4.2% was made as the survey was done on a slightly colder than usual day. I checked this myself in a controlled experiment showing that my own eight inch willy contracts by one eighth of an inch with every degree centigrade below 31.

I have it heard that self declared willy lengths are more accurate when declared in centimetres as this has less impact on the ego. Lucky that your survey was at SMS, if it had been at Fratton, you would have needed a reel-tape as I understand they are the biggest "c0cks" on the South coast.

As far as the court case is concerned, please be careful if they settle out of court, they may try to palm you off with Aero's which simply do not equate to the value of twix's. However, if they offer Dairy Milk, snap their arms off, they are worth double! Hope this helps.


STID

St Retford wrote:
I think the comments are closed on the Benali story in order to prevent it (and, indeed, us) from being in contempt of court. But I don't know if I see it as anti-Saints. If anything, in reporting what Franny is actually upset about it stops all these rumours about NC trashing his house or ripping up the carpets or whatever. There's been all this fuss about a messy hob and a 12 grand a year job. It's insane.

Confucious wrote:

st1halo wrote:

Confucious wrote:

st1halo wrote:

Confucious wrote:
I regret to report that I have just finished briefing my lawyer on my prospective suit against the club.

Two years ago I negotiated an ambassadorial role to represent the club on this site - at £4.20 per month plus a free coffee and twix bar on match days.

After six months, the money stopped and I was refused my coffee and twix at the Kingsland refreshment bar.

The club is claiming that whilst my posts on here have been markedly more intelligent and perceptive than the average contribution, I nonetheless put the club in a bad light in two posts made in 2012...

1. Saying that the"cheapskate" mens' urinal troughs projected only 4" from the walls causing even blokes with normal sized willies to fall short and pee all over the floor.

2. Suggesting that all fat supporters (especially those with wind issues) should, for the comfort of regular sized fans, be confined to a 'Jumbly' ' Stand at Itchen North where a giant fan should be installed to blow co-ordinated mass f@rts at the away support.

My case is that my constructive criticism was compatible with an "ambassadorial role" and that I am therefore owed £58.60 and 21 free coffees twix bars.

I have written to Le Tiss asking him to permit and endorse the following quote which would be attributed to him:

"This is an outrage. Confucious is a Saints legend and yet he's being treated like a big lump of sh!te found and sat upon by the Queen herself on the back seat of her Rolls Royce. He's worth at least £28.70 a month plus six coffees, ten twix bars and three sherbert dips or a box of licorice allsorts."

I have not heard back from Le Tiss yet, but have no doubt he will rally to my cause. Us legends stick together!

Good luck Confucious, we're all with you!

One question though .. Why were you in SMS toilets with a tape measure?

STID

I needed it to measure the urinal depth. The statistic on the average length of Saints supporters' willies, however, is based on a question survey I conducted at the exit with a sample of 327 blokes. The average willy length claimed was seven inches, but this was adjusted to four and a half inches, as there's a known overclaim factor of 65% on all self declared willy length surveys. A further adjustment of 4.2% was made as the survey was done on a slightly colder than usual day. I checked this myself in a controlled experiment showing that my own eight inch willy contracts by one eighth of an inch with every degree centigrade below 31.

I have it heard that self declared willy lengths are more accurate when declared in centimetres as this has less impact on the ego. Lucky that your survey was at SMS, if it had been at Fratton, you would have needed a reel-tape as I understand they are the biggest "c0cks" on the South coast.

As far as the court case is concerned, please be careful if they settle out of court, they may try to palm you off with Aero's which simply do not equate to the value of twix's. However, if they offer Dairy Milk, snap their arms off, they are worth double! Hope this helps.


STID

Cheers for that. I might ask for that nice Kenco coffee too.

I have a nice big mug of that with milk and two lumps every morning - the wife and her mother.

mack chinnon wrote:

warrens 76 wrote:
Not looking good for Pistorious, apparantly along with the bloodied cricket bat they found two stumps.

He hasnt got a leg to stand on.

Confucious wrote:
I had one of my regular visits from a Martian chum last night and had to explain to him why I'm more tense than usual this week.

I said it was all down to a very important football match. "We have eleven men in Southampton who have to go to Newcastle" I explained. "When they get there, they will be in a contest against eleven men from Newcastle, within the strict confines of a marked 130 yard by 75 yard grassed area. Essentially, our eleven men have to get a special ball of air into a designated big net as many times as possible whilst stopping the Newcastle men getting it into another net as many times as possible - using any part of their bodies except their arms and hands (excluding one player each who can use his whole body but only within a small area) - providing of course a player in an opposing half doesn't receive the ball from one of his team, or interfere with play, with less than two opposing players between him and the target net.

I added that fifty thousand people would be paying to watch it and that many thousands of us down here and around the globe were also sweating on the result.

Anyhow, he said, wouldn't it be just as sensible to have a competition whereby men had to hit a 24" by 18" empty cardboard box into a Jacuzzi tub from ten yards using only their right arm and a special yellow painted metal bar with a big rubber handle?

Honestly, the bloke's a complete tosspot.

warrens 76 wrote:
Back in the mists of time we were in the old Cup winners cup which to many was as big and a **** sight more exciting than the European cup..

Corporate interests ie Europes elite wanted everything to themselves..still do and therefore removed the CWC..

For those too young we would have won the **** thing had the ref not been bribed...

..seriously Anderlecht were found guilty of bribery two years later..

We had a goal disallowed after 9 minutes over in Brussels, a penalty denied on 85...

In the replay we went 2-0 up and I have never to this day heard a roar like it..

...then the ref mindful of his Anderlecht obligations allowed a goal from them which was at least 30 yards offside...

First time a referee had to be given a police escort at the Dell..crowd would of lynched him..

mikeyg2108 wrote:

warrens 76 wrote:
Back in the mists of time we were in the old Cup winners cup which to many was as big and a **** sight more exciting than the European cup..

Corporate interests ie Europes elite wanted everything to themselves..still do and therefore removed the CWC..

For those too young we would have won the **** thing had the ref not been bribed...

..seriously Anderlecht were found guilty of bribery two years later..

We had a goal disallowed after 9 minutes over in Brussels, a penalty denied on 85...

In the replay we went 2-0 up and I have never to this day heard a roar like it..

...then the ref mindful of his Anderlecht obligations allowed a goal from them which was at least 30 yards offside...

First time a referee had to be given a police escort at the Dell..crowd would of lynched him..

I was there too that night! Fabulous fabulous atmosphere until Anderlecht scored. The Dell was rocking like I had never heard before.