It is not surprising that Scotland's deer population is abandoning country estates in favour of housing estates such as Easterhouse.
There is marginally less chance of being shot at.
Also, Easterhouse is no longer a place of dingy and depressing concrete canyons. It has been transformed into a garden suburb, as leafy as all get out.
It is not known exactly how many roe deer have set up home in the estates (it is at least 10 per square mile) but enough for Environment Minister Stewart Stevenson this week to choose Easterhouse to launch Scotland’s new Deer Code.
In their new habitat, the deer damage gardens and cause road accidents. So they have to be “managed”. Which means culled.
Easterhouse is no stranger to the cull, as in the oft-heard cry: “I’m gonnae cull you, ya seven-letter-word beginning with B.”
The recommended method of despatching the deer is shooting them at night with low-velocity rifles. I have a better idea. Why not use this new natural resource to boost the Easterhouse economy.
Set up a local co-operative of ghillies who can make a living from the Germans, Americans, and other foreign visitors who will pay a fortune to blast a Bambi in the environs of Lochdochart Road. Lochdochart sounds suitably scenic.
With their knife skills, some locals can turn their hands easily to the gralloching. The Easterhouse deer-hunter co-op will be able to put a premium on the head of the stag called Monarch of the Scheme. They might expand into the grouse business; not the Famous variety but the lucrative low-flying birds.
Now I am not suggesting the following as revenue stream, but you may have read about the unemployed American who has said on the internet he will allow himself to be hunted for $10,000.
The seriousness of the offer must be in doubt as the man is called Mork, says he will go naked for an extra $2000, and the hunter gets to keep any income from the sale of organs.
There may well be some gallus character in Scotland’s hunting schemes prepared to be prey for pay. As long as it is a square go and the client recognises that the hunter doesn’t always win.
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