Nobody wants to be my friend

2:36pm Wednesday 2nd January 2002

I AM writing to you because I don't know what to do. I feel very unhappy at school because nobody will talk to me or be my friend.

I work hard and hand in all my work on time and get good marks but the people in my class don't seem to like me.

I wear glasses and because I take them off and put them in my pocket, I have broken two pairs so my mum only lets me have strong and heavy frames so that I don't break them. I understand her point but they look awful and I get called "four eyes" and "barn owl" and other rude things.

They even wait for me when I come out of school and call me names. I have tried to tell my mum what is happening at school but she just says it will pass and I must do my best.

My dad says I should hit them back but I'm not big and strong enough to do that and anyway, I can't hit everybody. I can't go to my teacher because then I shall be a tell tale tit and get into more trouble. Please help me.

Susan, aged 12

REPLY: FROM reading your letter I get a feeling of the difficult time you are going through. It really would be a good thing if you could make an appointment and come and see one of the counsellors. You will be seen on your own and everying you say will be trreated with complete confidence.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in seeing a counsellor. It does not mean you are stupid or going bonkers but will give you the opportunity of talking about how you feel, being listened to and during the course of your counselling you will probably work out for yourself how best to deal with your problem.

In the meantime, every school should have a policy on how to deal with the people who are making your life difficult for you and I suggest most strongly, that you go to your head teacher or class teacher.

Go to somebody in authority who can help you. Keep talking about it until somebody does help. Try not to give any reaction which gives these people the idea they are upsetting you. If they think they are not making any impression on you they may change. However, until they do, it would help you to talk to a counsellor to work out the best course of action in your own particular situation.