Danny Boyle says the world will be grateful we didn’t attempt to compete with China and stage an Olympics opening ceremony with the wow factor. Now they can all follow suit with a low-key approach following decades where such ceremonies have become progressively more extravagant.

I doubt that. Every other country sees the Olympics as a chance to make a statement to the world: “we’re here, we’re great, we can do big things. Come spend your money with us”.

Britain, however, has decided not to bother competing against China, which is indicative of our problems on the world stage as a whole. We have simply given up competing.

What then is our message to the world from the planned opening ceremony?

“We’re here. We’re wet. We’ve got sheep.”

Baaa.