My grandfather and I always go to the Winchester Cathedral Carol Service together. We have been doing this since I was eight.

My grandfather is sixty and retired recently whereas I have just finished my first term at Southampton University. I am a Christian and belong to the Christian Union.

Grandad and I have lively discussions: he finds my faith difficult to understand, not to say misguided, whereas I want him to come to know the Living Lord.

Grandad says he does not and cannot believe in any God, but I believe he is a very spiritual person. Despite his atheism, he always goes to two or three carol services.

Last night, as we were standing in the queue outside the cathedral, I asked him about this.

“Why do you go to carol services when you don’t believe in God?” I asked.

“It’s about nationhood,” he said. “I believe in the idea of belonging to a nation.” (He voted to leave.)

“Of course I love the music and the language of the King James is exquisite. I love the serenity of the cathedral when the lights go out and the voice of the lone chorister fills the silence. I know I’m a sentimental old b*****r.

“But it’s more than that. A good carol service gives me a powerful sense of being British.

"I don’t mean the flag-waving, bombastic Britishness of the past, but a sense of a distinctive identity that springs from having been born and brought up here.

"Much depends on the priest of course. Can he inspire the congregation with a sense of the history and tradition of the Church and its message to humanity down the ages?

"It’s not a message or an interpretation of history I accept. I don’t believe that Christ is anyone’s saviour.

"Indeed I think he was delusional and that his life and death are a tragedy as are the lives of so many people, and yet that is part of his appeal. His life was an awful struggle.

“The story told by the nine lessons is a story I interpret in my own way. Christ’s values are mostly mine too and I see them as British values. Christmas, carol services, all the razzmatazz of this time of year reconnect me with those values.”

“British values or European values?” I ask. This is a bit of a wind-up by a convinced Remainer. He sniggers.

“Don’t get me going. Europe took a wrong turn when it thought to absorb national identity in the idea of a superstate. Britain is losing its way too in so many ways, but at least we have owned up to the hypocrisy of EU membership.

"Christmas, like the monarchy, is a repository of much that we subconsciously hold dear. Scepticism is essential – another bit of being British – but Christmas is part of the emotional and spiritual substructure of our being. This is as near as I’ll ever get to your God.”

At that point we reached the West Door and jostled our way to some seats under the eye of disapproving stewards.

Anna Smith, Eastleigh.