We men suffer from marriage break-ups (From Daily Echo)

It's always seemed strange to that a woman in a marriage can break marriage vows and then demand half the husband's wealth and get full custody of the children.

Shoong wrote:
It's always seemed strange to that a woman in a marriage can break marriage vows and then demand half the husband's wealth and get full custody of the children.

Yet they are always bellyaching that they want equal rights - when it suits them.

This is a very fair letter, it covers alot of issues that are really not fair to men. Often a man has to leave the marital home with a bin liner and find a bed sit or caravan to live in until he can save a deposit for a dwelling. In Southampton there is no council house support for divorced fathers and so their children often cannot have overnight stay. The Family courts and solicitors often just are on the make taking money from single men, with few fair results for men who apply for contact.
In School children will take the name of the Step Father should the mother be remarried. If women want equal rights in the work place then perhaps they should look at the abuse of power when taking custody of children. Most men tend to keep a low profile on this subject as it traditionally has always been frowned on to protect the rights of men and fathers. Perhaps when there are less embittered divorced men running businesses around the country, women will get a fairer playing field regarding career opportunities.

Fieldbean wrote:
This is a very fair letter, it covers alot of issues that are really not fair to men. Often a man has to leave the marital home with a bin liner and find a bed sit or caravan to live in until he can save a deposit for a dwelling. In Southampton there is no council house support for divorced fathers and so their children often cannot have overnight stay. The Family courts and solicitors often just are on the make taking money from single men, with few fair results for men who apply for contact.
In School children will take the name of the Step Father should the mother be remarried. If women want equal rights in the work place then perhaps they should look at the abuse of power when taking custody of children. Most men tend to keep a low profile on this subject as it traditionally has always been frowned on to protect the rights of men and fathers. Perhaps when there are less embittered divorced men running businesses around the country, women will get a fairer playing field regarding career opportunities.

A very good post, with the notable exception of the last paragraph.

Whilst I agree that women should have the same career opportunities, and be promoted on experience and ability, I think that other things have to be taken into consideration.

A man and a woman start work in a firm at the same time, with the same qualifications and doing the same job.

They both put in the hours, but then the woman gets pregnant, and takes her maximum period of maternity leave. This means an extra workload for the man, who may or may not have someone brought in to help, but is unfamiliar in the position.

The woman returns to work, and in 18 months the same thing happens, and she is on maternity leave again.

Men and women are NOT equal, and will not be equal until women can make men pregnant.

If a woman wants to be treated equally, then she should consider whether or not she wants a career in business or a career in motherhood.

Linesman wrote:

Fieldbean wrote:
This is a very fair letter, it covers alot of issues that are really not fair to men. Often a man has to leave the marital home with a bin liner and find a bed sit or caravan to live in until he can save a deposit for a dwelling. In Southampton there is no council house support for divorced fathers and so their children often cannot have overnight stay. The Family courts and solicitors often just are on the make taking money from single men, with few fair results for men who apply for contact.
In School children will take the name of the Step Father should the mother be remarried. If women want equal rights in the work place then perhaps they should look at the abuse of power when taking custody of children. Most men tend to keep a low profile on this subject as it traditionally has always been frowned on to protect the rights of men and fathers. Perhaps when there are less embittered divorced men running businesses around the country, women will get a fairer playing field regarding career opportunities.

A very good post, with the notable exception of the last paragraph.

Whilst I agree that women should have the same career opportunities, and be promoted on experience and ability, I think that other things have to be taken into consideration.

A man and a woman start work in a firm at the same time, with the same qualifications and doing the same job.

They both put in the hours, but then the woman gets pregnant, and takes her maximum period of maternity leave. This means an extra workload for the man, who may or may not have someone brought in to help, but is unfamiliar in the position.

The woman returns to work, and in 18 months the same thing happens, and she is on maternity leave again.

Men and women are NOT equal, and will not be equal until women can make men pregnant.

If a woman wants to be treated equally, then she should consider whether or not she wants a career in business or a career in motherhood.

Yep, see this all the time. I work at a international IT company.

Get pregnant, work is dumped on to everyone else yet we are supposed to give her a wonderful send off - yes, thanks for the extra work.

Comes back after 18 months - surprise surprise, preganant again.

Or you could the the fizz even further, go on a sabbatical for a year, come back for 2 months, go on maternity leave, back for 2 months, another baby, another 18 months paid leave.

Men and women are not equal - I'll probably get hammered for it & it's probably illegal but if I ran a small to mid size company I wouldn't employ women.

If you want children, go and do it.

Just don't expect me to pay you for it.

Ok Linesman, this part of the discussion could become very detailed. The first thing to remember is that Maternity leave is paid for by the governement. This is statutory maternity leave. Should an Employer decide to pay a woman more than the SMP then that is entirely up to the employer. While the woman is on leave the employer can use the money he is not paying the woman to employ someone else. Where possible a good employer will do this. After maternity leave, if the woman can still compete as well as the man in the work place, then that is just life and she will be paid the according renumeration. We live in a world of payment for results, there is little reward for effort in reality. Lastly to be fair to the fairer sex, without a replacement population our society could decline, how would an elderly population collect any pension? Women in general, all though there are house husbands out there, do a fantastic job of bringing up childen for little financial reward. My main gripe is with those opportunistic women feathering their nests after divorce at the expense of an often belittled Father who's sole purpose to that woman is then to become a cash cow for her family and new partner.

Fieldbean wrote:
Ok Linesman, this part of the discussion could become very detailed. The first thing to remember is that Maternity leave is paid for by the governement. This is statutory maternity leave. Should an Employer decide to pay a woman more than the SMP then that is entirely up to the employer. While the woman is on leave the employer can use the money he is not paying the woman to employ someone else. Where possible a good employer will do this. After maternity leave, if the woman can still compete as well as the man in the work place, then that is just life and she will be paid the according renumeration. We live in a world of payment for results, there is little reward for effort in reality. Lastly to be fair to the fairer sex, without a replacement population our society could decline, how would an elderly population collect any pension? Women in general, all though there are house husbands out there, do a fantastic job of bringing up childen for little financial reward. My main gripe is with those opportunistic women feathering their nests after divorce at the expense of an often belittled Father who's sole purpose to that woman is then to become a cash cow for her family and new partner.

I don't care who pays for the maternity leave, what I am pointing out is that, while the woman is on maternity leave, the man is working for the company, and gaining that extra experience, so moves ahead of the woman in 'time served' and work input.

As I previously stated, men and women will not be equal until women can make men pregnant.

Vive le difference!

The gender gap in the workplace is real but fixable. There is no reason in principle why men couldn't take the parental leave and look after the child. Some women can and do come bck to work almost immediately in high powered jobs with supportive husbands.

The real workplace challenge is between breeders who think those of us who choose not too owe them something. Flexible working, time of for child illnesses etc etc it all adds up as additional workload and stress placed on the more flexible single man or woman and inevitably work/life balance suffers

They're your children so I fail to see why I should pay to support them.