Dear Bay

So now you are three and what a three years it has been. I can’t really form the idea that three years has passed since you were born because it feels like a lifetime ago. So much has happened, I feel like a completely different person to the one who sat in a pool and hugged your little (actually not little – 9lb 2oz) body as you opened your eyes for the first time. I purposefully didn’t go to sleep that night, even though my body was exhausted and broken. I just wanted to be alone with you and look at your face as you slept. It was one of the most perfect times of my life.

I still spend so much of my time looking at your face now; not interested in personal space, you are usually right in front of me screaming or planting one of your infamous ‘best friend’ kisses on my lips. You are wild in your ability to give love and let everyone know when you are not happy. In a small child, these traits are seen as typical and people tell me you will grow out of them when you’re slightly older. Some days, like this week when I had to be assisted by two other women to physically remove you from a shop because you were hysterically trashing the place for not being allowed open all the toys, I am very happy for that time to arrive as soon as it can.

But guess what Boo…don’t give up those traits for anything because in an adult, they will blossom into something magical. To be generous with compliments, affection and love is a trait that I aspire to every day. I adore how tactile you are and you show me how important it is to hug the people you like. To be able to voice your own unrest or uncomfortable feelings when something doesn’t sit right with you will be the best foundation for you as a woman. This is something I have spent a lot of time working on, alongside so many women I know, but you were born with this. Don’t let this go.

I have to write this down to remember because some days, I have no idea how to survive your hurricane ways but always know I love you so very much in all your guises.

Love Mummy

* Stacey Heale has left her career as a fashion lecturer to focus on her two lively little girls and husband, Delays frontman Greg Gilbert, who was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in November 2016. She launched the viral campaign Give4Greg to raise funds for lifesaving treatment: gofundme.com/give4greg. You can read more at her blog, www.beneaththeweather.com