THINGS are tough.

On the cancer rollercoaster, we are currently freefalling from the top of the highest peak.

Greg’s treatment is a slog that is leaving him in bed for over a week and I’m doing a bad job of being super human, trying to look after him, the girls, the house, etc.

People often think that in our situation that I will be sad all the time. That is definitely not the case; the emotion I feel most is anger.

I have never been an angry person so these new feelings are overwhelming and hard to manage.

It’s hard to say what I’m angry at – I’m not angry at the world for Greg having cancer because my view has always been instead of ‘why us?’, ‘why not us?’.

I have a rage deep inside me that manifests itself from the fear of the future and the overwhelm at everything I am trying to contend with day to day.

I know that this anger is coming out mainly at Dali and Bay and this absolutely is not okay.

I’ve realised that going through this will need some coping strategies better than the ones I currently have.

I’ve noticed I’ve been drinking too much, possibly two glasses of wine a night with the reasoning that it’s been a hard day.

I’ve started buying lots of things I don’t need but purchase as an impulse. I use social media as a distraction and instead of inspiring me, I find it draining and looking at other people’s lives makes me feel sad and empty.

I don’t think giving myself yet another list of things to do would be helpful so I will be kind to myself and add more nurturing activities to the mix of my day gradually.

The first thing I have done is go for a sound bath. Gong therapy is like having a massive cuddle while sound dances around you and vibrations soak into your body.

It was relaxing, rejuvenating and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to relax and rebalance themselves.

I love unusual experiences and this is one of my favourites.

It is impossible to feel angry when you are surrounded by so much sonic pleasure. I’m not sure Greg would love it if I bought a gong to bash about at home, maybe just a punching bag will have to do for now.

  • Stacey Heale has left her career as a fashion lecturer to focus on her two lively little girls and husband, Delays frontman Greg Gilbert, who was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in November 2016. She launched the viral campaign Give4Greg to raise funds for lifesaving treatment: You can read more at her blog,