COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine offers advice on pandemic-inspired life changes and a husband who wants an affair.

THE PANDEMIC HAS MADE ME REALISE I NEVER REALLY LIKED MY JOB

When this pandemic started what seems like a year ago now, I was furloughed by my employer who I’d worked for since I left school. Four months down the line in late July, he decided to close his business and I was made redundant. At age 39, with a young family to support, I felt angry, rejected and washed out.

But the lockdown has meant I’ve also spent far more time with my family, something that simply didn’t happen when I was working.

All this has made me realise that I hated my job and am glad to be out of it. I’ve not bothered to look for anything else whilst the world’s in this mess, but I have to face the fact that my redundancy money will run out in another few months. I suppose that means I am going to have to find another job, and all this will seem like a dream.

Will I really have to go back to another tedious, unrewarding job?

FIONA SAYS: THIS COULD BE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR CHANGE

Losing your job is hard, but so many people have done as a result of the pandemic, and I fear many more will. Times ahead aren’t going to be easy - but it’s an opportunity to reassess your life and rethink your priorities.

Could you adjust your lifestyle to manage on less? Or, could you retrain in some way. Even if you go back to doing something similar to what you were doing before, new ways of working might mean you are able to work from home.

I’VE GONE OFF SEX - SHOULD I LET MY HUSBAND HAVE AN AFFAIR?

I’m 58 and since I’ve been through menopause, my interest in sex has simply plummeted. It’s not that I don’t love my husband - I really do - but the thought of sex just seem like a chore rather than a pleasure. It’s now something I do for his sake, but I really don’t find it particularly pleasurable.

My husband has suggested that perhaps he should have an affair, but that’s something I’m really not sure about - it seems like a step too far for me.

FIONA SAYS: THERE’S A LOT GOING ON HERE

I think there are some serious emotional and relationship issues at work here. You say that you love and care for each other, yet your husband’s behaviour sounds like it may be at odds with this. Frankly, the idea of your husband having an affair just to satisfy his frustration horrifies me.

Many women experience a loss of libido after menopause. Talk to your doctor before giving up altogether.