COLUMNIST and counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

MY WIFE HAD AN AFFAIR BUT NOW WANTS ME BACK - EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN’T REALLY LOVE ME

Last year, during lockdown, I found out that my wife had been having an affair. We had a nasty confrontation, which ended in me having to move out. I didn’t want to make things any harder for the children than they already were, so I agreed to this.

It hurt, but I gradually got me life back on track and it showed me that there could be a life for me after divorce.

Last week my wife floored me by asking me to come back. Apparently, the affair is over, and although she’s not sure whether she loves me, she wants us to be together for the sake of the children.

I don’t know what to do. If I go back and it fails again, I am sure that this will be bad for the children.

FIONA SAYS: YOU’RE RIGHT TO THINK CAREFULLY

Generally speaking, children do benefit from contact with both parents - but it very much depends on whether the parents can get on with one another..

If there is constant arguing, it can be far more damaging than where the parents live apart.

I get the sense that, despite the beginnings of a new life, your marriage still holds some appeal for you? Only you know how you really feel.

I agree with you that, if you do go back and the relationship falls apart again, it would be difficult for your children. A second separation could hit very hard.

If you do decide to go back to live with your wife, then please consider spending some time trying to understand what went wrong before.

I WET MYSELF WHEN I SNEEZE

After the birth of my second child, I set about losing weight and getting fitter. I started doing more exercise, which is working well for me, but I do have a problem.

When I sneeze or cough, I wet myself slightly. Am I stuck with it?

FIONA SAYS: THIS IS VERY COMMON AND EXERCISES CAN HELP

Most women experience this after childbirth to some degree. The pelvic floor muscles, which control the opening of the bladder, have been stretched and are no longer able to completely control the passing of water.

For most, it can be significantly improved by exercises to tighten the pelvic floor muscles. Your doctor may be able to provide individual advice.

Email help@askfiona.net for advice.