COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

MY HUSBAND AND FRIEND HAVE BEEN ‘SEXTING’

I am in such a state, I really don’t know what to do. My husband’s phone pinged while he was in the loo the other day and I saw it was a text to him from one of my friends. Obviously, I asked him why she was messaging him, and he admitted they’ve been ‘sexting’ one another during lockdown.

This feels like a betrayal - both on her part and on his. He says it was because he was so bored in lockdown that this started just for fun and grew from there.

I feel deeply unhappy about it. My friend is married and I’m sure her husband doesn’t know about this either, so I’m tempted to tell him. How do I deal with it?

FIONA SAYS: THERE’S A LOT TO TALK ABOUT HERE

Under normal circumstances, I would - potentially - see this as something wrong in your marriage. Because of the pandemic all kinds of fantasies have played out, but that doesn’t mean to say this isn’t serious.

I suspect your husband and friend had no intention of carrying this any further, and that it was all just a silly game that got out of control. Yes, they have gone behind your back and done something hurtful, but I think you need a conversation - with both of them - to try and understand if there’s any more to this.

SO CONFUSED BY MY HUSBAND’S WISH TO LIVE SEPARATELY

Nine months before lockdown, my marriage of 19 years ground to a halt. My husband moved into a flat of his own, saying he needed some time to himself to work things out. He said he had only been staying because of the children and, while hurt, I agreed to a trial separation.

I didn’t hear from him for over a year, but then out of the blue he contacted me again. We have been talking to one another regularly although, of course, we’ve not been able to see one another. I thought things were getting better, but the problem is that he still doesn’t want to move back to the family home.

He says he’s happy as he is, yet in the same breath says he still loves me and doesn’t want a divorce. I am so confused by this.

FIONA SAYS: THIS DOES NOT SOUND FAIR

Your husband has had long enough to sort out his feelings and decide what he wants to do. He seems to enjoy his freedom, but still needs the security of a family to love him. This is so unfair on you and your children, and it might be time to issue him with an ultimatum.

Email help@askfiona.net for advice.