COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

HOW DO I TELL MY BOYFRIEND I DON’T LOVE HIM ANY MORE?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 12 years now, and living together for 10. We have a mortgage, some pets but no children, and our relationship has been steadily declining for several years. We sleep in separate rooms and have not had sex for over eight years. In fact, there’s no intimacy at all.

What’s more, we are barely even housemates. We have very little in common and do not share the same values. He wants children but I do not, and I have always made this clear.

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We don’t argue - we barely even speak to each other, unless it’s about something mundane. I cannot rely on him to help with housework, finances or looking after our pets. I hate it when he is off work and we are in the house together, and much prefer spending time on my own.

I am desperately unhappy, and I can’t believe that he is happy with things the way they are either.

How do I tell someone I just don’t love them anymore? I also have no idea who to turn to for practical support regarding our finances, and finding somewhere else for me to live.

FIONA SAYS: IT’S TIME TO TALK

This relationship is over - you both know it, so why one of you hasn’t done anything about ending it is beyond me. Unless, of course, there is something keeping you together - is there still, somewhere, deep down, an element of still feeling something for one another? If there really isn’t, then it’s time to have the conversation and decide what you have to do next.

SHOULD I CONFRONT MY ‘NASTY’ MOTHER?

My mother has become hyper-critical of everything my children do and is often quite aggressive towards them. She’s nastier than usual lately and has even hit them a few times.

My husband isn’t spared her venom either. She blames him for everything that’s wrong in our lives and doesn’t hesitate to tell him so. Yes, money is tight and we don’t have a lot of material things, but what we do have is a loving, happy marriage. Surely that should be something to celebrate not criticise.

Should I confront her about this behaviour?

FIONA SAYS: THIS CAN’T JUST CARRY ON

I admire your sense of duty and perseverance for putting up with her behaviour this long. Like it or not, you are going to have to speak to her - if for no other reason than the safety of your children.

Email help@askfiona.net for advice.