COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

I NEVER TOLD MY HUSBAND ABOUT MY COLLEGE LOVER

Some ten years ago while I was away at college, I had a passionate affair with one of my fellow students. We were very much an item during term time, but every holiday, I returned to my regular boyfriend, and I think he did the same thing.

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My college boyfriend and I split up before our course ended. I went home and then about eight years ago, I married my original boyfriend. I know he’s the love of my life, and we are happy together with our two young children.

I have no regrets about my past - I enjoyed my time at college and my college affair was part of the reason I had such a good time. The thing is though, that I never told my boyfriend (now husband) about what I got up to while I was away - I never thought it mattered.

During Covid, a few of my old college friends and I started chatting on Zoom and now they’ve organised a reunion for Christmas. My husband is keen we should go, but what on earth will I do if my old lover is there? What will happen if he says something inappropriate when he sees me, and even if he doesn’t, what if one of my college friends remembers and says something? I would dearly love to see everyone again, but I’m wondering if it would be better not to go at all.

FIONA SAYS: WE ALL HAVE A FEW SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET

You’ve managed to keep your college life secret from your husband for 10 years, but I wonder if, while you were away, he might have had relationships you don’t know about too. I think you really want to go to this reunion - and you might even quite like the idea of seeing how your lover turned out too!

I think it would be a shame to miss out on the chance of meeting up with old friends, just on the off chance something untoward might be said. If you really think there is a chance someone might say something inappropriate to your husband, then perhaps you could test the waters before you go.

DUMPED FOR MY OLDER SISTER

I’ve only ever had two boyfriends, both of whom dumped me for my older sister. Once they realised what she was like, they dumper her too. She’s really pretty and a man-magnet, but she’s completely empty-headed, drinks too much when she goes out, and basically becomes a liability!

What can I do to stop her from doing this to my future boyfriends?

FIONA SAYS: WAIT FOR SOMEONE WHO LIKES YOU FOR YOU

I’m sure that it won’t be long before you attract a man with enough common-sense to see her flaws and, more importantly, your plus points.

Email Fiona at help@askfiona.net for advice.