COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.


A few months back, my boyfriend managed to get a couple of cheap last-minute holiday tickets. It was only a short break in the UK - something we both needed after lockdown, but at the time I was totally swamped with work and couldn’t get away at short notice.

ALSO READ: Agony advice - the ultimate betrayal from husband and sister

We agreed that, rather than waste the tickets, he’d take a friend instead. What he didn’t say was that this other person he took with him was a woman. I found out and confronted him, but I’m not sure I am reassured by his reaction.

He says nothing happened - she really is just a friend, apparently. That may be the case but, if it was that innocent, why didn’t he tell me this before he went?


I suspect he didn’t tell you because he knew you’d be unlikely to agree to it, or that at the very least you’d have some major doubts. I have to say, it makes me suspicious too that you found out through a friend and not from him. What you do now will depend on whether you’re both prepared to work at trying to restore trust.

You’ll need to explain to him that you feel hurt and betrayed, and that you’ll need an honest explanation if you’re to trust him again. Is this woman a friend of his you’ve met before? Have you seen how they interact with one another?

It might help you to meet her and see how they behave with one another. If you don’t know her and if he’s not willing for the two of you to meet, then your suspicions will inevitably grow.

In the end, if you’re not satisfied with what he says then I’m afraid I’m not optimistic that this relationship can survive if he’s not willing to be honest with you.


I have been with my partner for five years. We have two children together, aged three and six months, and he is a loving father to both.

He was married before we met, but he and his wife were separated (they had no children). We’ve had five happy years together, but he still hasn’t got divorced yet and this worries me. Do you think he plans to leave me?

Daily Echo:


I can’t possibly guess what his plans and intentions are, but if he has lived with you happily for five years, then happiness and contentment could have made him forgetful. If his ex isn’t pushing for a divorce either, then it could simply be something he’s not thought about.

You say you are worried about him getting a divorce, but I suspect what is really worrying you is his apparent lack of commitment to you and your children. Have you told him how you feel about all of this?

If he is content with his life as it is, it may not have occurred to him that there’s any anxiety and lack of contentment in yours. You really need to talk to him and tell him how you feel.

Contact Fiona by writing to for advice.

A message from the Editor

Thank you for reading this article - we appreciate your support in reading the Daily Echo.

Subscribing to the Echo means you have unrestricted access to the latest news, features and Saints coverage - all with an advertising-light website.

You will also have full access to Saintsplus, your new home for Southampton FC tactical analysis, features and much, much more.

Don't take my word for it - subscribe here to see for yourself.

Follow the latest breaking news in the Southampton area by joining our Facebook group - Southampton News - Breaking News and Incidents

Follow the latest court and crime news on our dedicated Facebook group - Hampshire Court and Crime News