COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

I CAN’T BELIEVE MY CHEATING BOYFRIEND LIED TWICE

I split up with my boyfriend when I found out he’d be seeing someone else. We’d been living together for four years, so it really hurt. He moved out to flat-share with a mate. Then about five months ago, we met up again, and he told me he was deeply sorry about what happened and that he had missed me.

He promised me it wouldn’t happen again and I forgave him. He moved back in and I thought we were happy.

Then, last week, I found out from a mutual friend that, when we were separated, he hadn’t been sharing with a mate at all! He had been living with the same woman again.

I was so angry that I threw all his stuff down the stairs and told him never to come back.

I’ve been badly hurt again and I hate him for it, and right now I feel that I can never trust another man again. I’ve avoided seeing people because I am embarrassed that he tricked me twice. So I stay in, cry, and drink myself to sleep. How do you get over something like this?

FIONA SAYS: YOU’VE GOT A LOT TO PROCESS

I agree you’ve been badly hurt by a man who simply doesn’t understand what it means to be in a trusting, loving relationship. You’ve every right to be angry - but I promise you, you will get over it.

It may not be a quick process unfortunately, but in time, these feelings will fade. In the meantime, please don’t turn to solo drinking at home. It may numb the pain, but it will also stop you from thinking clearly about ways to move on. It may also make you focus too much on fretting about the past, and he’s just not worth it.

Instead, look to introduce fun and healthy new things into your life, new hobbies or new friends.

I DON’T WANT THEIR DOGS NEAR MY BABY

My in-laws have two dogs that are good natured but very excitable. They keep jumping up to get to my baby girl when we visit. They only ever lick her face, but I don’t even like this.

I have pushed them away, but my in-laws think I am making a fuss about nothing. My husband has also spoken to them to no effect.

I now avoid seeing them whenever possible. I don’t want to deny them time with their granddaughter, but I can’t let this go on.

FIONA SAYS: THEY NEED TO LISTEN

This is your baby and how you want to take care of her is important.

You are entirely justified in voicing these concerns to your in-laws.

Calmly explain that you and your husband are both genuinely worried about this and that you would like them to keep the dogs off her.

Hopefully, they will agree. If not, tell them you may no longer be able to visit with your daughter - and even though it could cause a family disagreement, you will have to stick to this.

Email help@askfiona.net for advice.