COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

HUSBAND SAID HE’S NEVER LOVED ME

Seven years ago, I married a kind, strong, supportive, and attractive man. My friends were all happy for me to have landed such a catch!

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The years have been good, we had a lot in common and enjoyed doing things together. Our sex life was unremarkable, but we were happy, or so it seemed.

Over the last year, we have started to disagree a bit, mainly about children. I would love to start a family but, he gets twitchy and changes the subject.

If I push too hard, he gets angry. Last week, he finally boiled over and said he never wants to have children. When I asked why, he said he’s not sure that he ever loved me.

He’s since said that he doesn’t want a divorce, but I’m not sure I can stay with him after this. Part of me wants to kick him out now, but I do have feelings for him, and I am also afraid to be on my own again.

FIONA SAYS: YOU BOTH NEED TO BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR NEEDS

Anyone would be confused by this strange situation. For whatever reason, your husband has maintained the facade of a happy marriage and concealed his true feelings for seven years. He’s only revealed them when he was forced to do so, because of the issue of children. In doing so, he has hurt you and damaged whatever trust there had been between you.

It is possible that he was genuinely happy simply being married to you, and that love, sex and children were not important to him. However, if that was the case, a more honest and caring person would have made these feelings known a lot sooner.

It could be that he did once love you but has now fallen out of love. I wonder also whether the appearance of a happy marriage might have been a convenient way for him to conceal uncertainty about something else, perhaps his sexuality. I could speculate forever, but if you or he have any hopes of retrieving something from this relationship, you need to talk.

FRIEND THINKS I FANCY HER BOYFRIEND

A friend of mine has been seeing a guy for about three years, they get on well and I am happy for them. However, when I mentioned in video chat recently that I liked him, she got angry and hung up.

She's now avoiding me, but I don’t know why.

I didn’t mean that I fancied her boyfriend - only that he’s a good man and she’s lucky to have him. I hate the idea that I have lost a good friend over this.

FIONA SAYS: APOLOGISE AND EXPLAIN

It was possibly a bit tactless saying you ‘liked’ him, but I also wonder whether your friend’s overreaction is because her relationship is not as great as it appears?

If you want to rescue your friendship, you are going to have to find a way to contact her, apologise, and make it clear that you were not expressing any interest in her boyfriend.

Email Fiona by writing to help@askfiona.net for advice on love, life, family and relationships.