COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

BOYFRIEND WANTS TO HOOK UP WITH ANOTHER COUPLE

I have been happy with my boyfriend for some time, but things have changed between us and I don’t know what to do. We went to a party together and met another couple there. We all got really drunk and went back to their place.

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I went to bed with my boyfriend, but have hazy memories of the other couple joining us. Apparently, we swapped partners and according to my boyfriend, not only did I make love to the other guy but to the girl as well.

He says it was great and wants to do it all again, but the thought of it really turns me off and I can’t believe I joined in. I really don’t want to see them again, but my boyfriend has arranged a get together. He says I’m just being a silly prude.

FIONA SAYS: DON’T LET HIM PRESSURE YOU

You are being neither silly nor a prude. Just because your boyfriend enjoyed this group encounter, that is no reason why you should have to.

If your instincts tell you this is wrong for you, then go with what you feel. And don’t let your boyfriend - or anyone else - pressurise you into doing something that you don’t want to do, whatever it is. If he tries to force you into this, then I think you need to think carefully as to whether he is the right person for you at all.

COLLEAGUE KEEPS PUTTING ME DOWN

I am having a big problem at work and don’t know what to do for the best. My immediate boss has taken against me from the start.

He is forever criticising what I’ve done workwise, but he goes further than that, criticising what I wear, the way I look. He runs me down so much and so often in front of other people that I am losing confidence, and it’s getting to the point that I can’t do anything.

I am just a new junior and if I say anything, it will be me that gets the chop, not him.

Daily Echo:

FIONA SAYS: BULLYING AT WORK IS NOT ACCEPTABLE

Although there is a risk that things might go against you, if this man’s bullying (and that’s what it is) is known and recognised by others, then don’t be so certain. Unfortunately, it usually takes someone to stand up to a bully before anything is done.

Although there is no legal definition of bullying, an abuse of power by someone in a senior position - as you are experiencing, especially when it’s intimidating or insulting - is most definitely bullying. Any unwanted behaviour that is designed to undermine or humiliate you, especially when it causes physical or emotional harm is bullying too.

Your company should have a policy to deal with this and you could ask your HR department whether there is such a policy and say you would like to see it. Harassment in the workplace is unlawful. Keep a diary and contact ACAS, an organisation which can help you through this.

Email Fiona by writing to help@askfiona.net for advice.