Over the past months people on the ferry have been wondering whether im plain crazy and also where i get my energy from. Basically part of the battle is being to use the pain from the past as a motivator. However there is a fine balance to doing so and it can turn against if your not careful.

An example of this happened last year at a triathlon. My original reason for coming to Southampton was to face the problems caused by a series of assaults whilst i was attending a school outside of Dorchester between the age of 8 - 11. At that time my mum removed me from the school i was bordering on a mental breakdown. One particular incident involved being forced to perform a swim test in the middle of winter in an open pool. The effects of this period of result in the occasional seizure occuring. For some reason the acheivement of gaining my MSC last these fears back up last year, maybe because it was the end of the journey. So when i hit the water at the Ironman my mind had a flashback to that time and within 150m my body seized up.

The day of my mums heart attack, i had my hands on my bike seat moments before it happened. Everytime i hold the seat it is a reminder of that day. Thats why mental preperation has feature the last couple of months more than physical. If i hadn't taken this approach this year wouldn't be a success.

Tommorow is the last saturday in june and time to shift up a gear.