Brave new world

I AM a young black woman in a new world. That's not to say that this has not been achieved before. My ambition began as a young child with a fascination for the process that occurs directly after death.

For as long as I can remember, I would walk past our local funeral home hoping to get a glimpse of what work they did. I so desperately wanted to have the courage to knock the door and go inside but I was no more than eight years old.

As time went by my interest grew and although I got other jobs elsewhere I couldn't get that feeling out of my mind.

I decided to write to all the local firms but no luck, and very few replies - then I thought it would be better to visit but again no luck. I wasn't being taken seriously.

What could I do or who could I turn to? I just couldn't give up and there was no way I would.

All that was needed was a little push in the right direction. I left my name and number with numerous people, now it was just waiting.

Then one day, it happened. I received a phone call informing me of a school for funeral directing and embalming in Salisbury.

I was there by the end of the week. My prayers had been answered. I was given the opportunity to visit every Friday to observe and sometimes help, I did this for a year or so and I loved helping.

Soon after I was asked if I would like to enrol on the health and hygiene course - and there was no way I would turn that down.

Fourteen weeks later I passed. There was no stopping me now. I enrolled on the diploma course for funeral directing.

My partner (now husband), mum, dad, brother and sisters all helped with looking after my two daughters from school runs to bedtime.

I sat my exam on my 30th birthday in Solihull. I don't think I have ever been so nervous.

We were told by our tutor not to go out and have a drink as we had little brain cells as it was, but we had to calm our nerves.

We all had to wait six weeks to find out the results. Finally they arrived on my doorstep. I passed - what a sigh of relief.

Two years later I sat the embalming diploma theory and, to my amazement, I passed.

It has now been ten years since I first started in this profession and I am still fascinated about what happens when we die.

As with many cultures, mine being West Indian, it is still, to a certain extent, a taboo subject.

I come from a close loving and extremely supportive family, yet death is very rarely spoken about.

I find that odd, as death is part of life. My eyes have been opened wide - there is so much to learn, so much to give.

I feel I am privileged to provide this service that no one wants but must have. I am here to help give guidance and support through the most difficult time of one's life.

Before taking the steps to open my own business I worked for a local firm, starting as an administration assistant and working my way up to branch manager of both funerals and monumental masonary.

I have been fortunate enough to gain a tremendous amount of experience over the years.

I have also found it nerve-racking at times. It's a big step with no guarantee.

My husband and I sold our house, which made it possible for me to do this. It has taken a lot of hard work and dedication.

I have had overwhelming support from family and friends all who did their bit to help make this possible.

I believe with all that I have learnt I truly offer a personal and specialised service. Not only have I the experience of different cultures, but I also have the freedom to find out more.

I am part of the community that I serve, as I grew up in it.

In 2001 I became the Southern Area Chairwoman for the National Association of Funeral Directors, a good experience gaining more knowledge. I feel proud to belong to such an association.

My chapel was blessed last year on Sunday, August 1, by representatives of community faiths.

It was a very special day for a very special place, attended by my family and friends.

Forbes Dennehy Funeral Directors, 80 St Mary Street, Southampton - 023 8063 3863.