ON THE first Monday of every month a growing group of disgruntled dads gathers at a Hampshire pub. They are all members of the county's branch of Fathers 4 Justice and each has a story to tell about the feelings of devastation they have suffered being forced to live apart from their children...

CASE STUDY 1:

FORMER research engineer Andrew Jefferies, 39, has fought long and hard to have the right to see his daughter.

His eyes light up as he describes the fun times they share together - but his eyes also betray the pain of a man who was admitted to a psychiatric unit following the break up of his relationship with the mother.

He could not cope with the loss of his daughter and the court battles that ensued to win the right to see her, have also taken their toll.

"I'm still not back at work even now. It has been a long hard battle. There were huge delays in getting legal aid to fight this and then it was one hard struggle.

"Luckily my mother has worked for the legal profession and she knew the right solicitors for me to work with.

"It's absolutely wonderful when I see my little girl. We go swimming together and she rides her tricycle round the garden. She plays with her cousins and just loves being out in the open space.

"It's so nice because she wants to be involved in anything that I am doing.

"I now see my daughter every other weekend and she spends half the school holidays with me - but it has taken two years to get this far," he said.

Andrew says the help he has received from Fathers 4 Justice has been invaluable and he wishes he had joined the group earlier in his court crusade.

"I wish I had known about shared residency (where mothers and fathers reatain a strong positive parenting role with the children spending sunstantial amounts of time living with each parent) - I would have tried for that if I had known," he said.

Recently Andrew helped organise a weekend away in the New Forest for about 30 dads, their children and partners - and there are plans for other events too.

"It went really well. It was a chance for us to get together and just relax," he said.

Andrew's mum Margaret, 70, knows how tough it can be for the grandparents when their child's relationship ends.

"The whole extended family is affected by this - aunties, cousins everyone. I have three grandchildren and they are so excited when my son's daughter comes to visit.

"We see her every week now - but it's not the same as having the freedom to see her whenever you want," she said.

Margaret has added her support to Fathers 4 Justice and has become a member: "I feel very strongly that fathers should have a say in what happens on a day-to-day basis with their children.

"They should know when they are going to the dentist or if they have hospital appointments - they should have a say and they don't," she said.

CASE STUDY 2:

WHENEVER Neil Macdonald goes shopping he searches the faces in the crowd in the vain hope that he may catch a glimpse of his daughters.

A mild-mannered man, Neil has recently turned to the Christian church for help with the anguish he feels every day at the loss of his children.

It is two and a half years since he last saw them and not a day passes when they are not in his thoughts.

He knows where they live, he even knows where they go to school - and yet he dare not hang around at the school gate to see them.

Neil, 43, and his partner Sue, 46, are bewildered and angered by what has happened to them and that is why they have joined Fathers 4 Justice.

"We used to see my daughters every two weeks and we had lovely times.

"The girls enjoyed the times we shared so much that they wanted to see us more. We approached Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) and told them this and they told us to apply to the court - but instead of seeing more of them, access was completely denied.

"We were told the girls had said they did not want to see us - and that was that," he said.

Neil admits he was mystified by their reaction but had to accept their wishes.

"There is no way back, no review - we are stuck with the decision," said Neil, an IT network manager.

Neil continues to pay maintenance and sends cards and letters but there is no response. Losing his daughters has affected the whole family. He particularly feels the pain of his step daughters.

"They have lost their half-sisters and they can't understand why. This doesn't just affect the fathers, there are so many people left hurt and angry by what happens," he said.

"I accept now that my kids are going to grow up without me.

"You realise it's too late and you will never see them as children - I just hope they try to find me when they are old enough to do so.

"When it first happened I was so upset, I couldn't go to work and I was signed off. I've made it back and now I want to try to help others whofind themselves in this situation by doing all I can for Fathers 4 Justice."

Learning to live with his loss has been the hardest part for Neil - and he sums it up with these words:

"Children are the ultimate weapon and when you choose to use them in that way the effect is like a nuclear explosion."

CASE STUDY 3:

DEMOLITION worker Ray Sheppard, 26, broke up with the mother of his child before his daughter was born.

But rather than turn his back on his responsibilities, Ray has been fighting for the past seven years to have access to his daughter.

Since she was born he has only seen her about 35 times but he cherishes the memory of those visits and remains committed to fighting for the right to be her dad.

"I was only 18 when my girlfriend became pregnant. I have always wanted to be involved with my daughter but it has not been easy - and I am no nearer a settlement now.

The last time I went to court the judge suggested I give up but I will never give up," he said.

The effect of losing his daughter has caused many problems for him.

When he was 21 he became severely depressed and started to take tablets from the doctor. He had to take a step back from his crusade to see his daughter but he still kept in touch by post.

"I can't just walk away from my responsibilities - my whole family wants to see my daughter but they are being denied that.

"It would make my day if I was allowed access to my daughter.

"I have found it very hard to have another relationship since all this has happened to me.

"I did meet someone but she wanted to have a child with me and because of this situation I couldn't be with her emotionally, so we broke up," he said.