BY 2020, depression will be the greatest burden of illness after heart disease. Hampshire mum Alexandra Massey battled with the condition for five years. She tells KATE THOMPSON how she finally came through to write a new self-help book for others like her...

TWELVE years ago, Alexandra Massey was so depressed she couldn't work and was contemplating suicide.

"I was a single parent and the only thing that stopped me was the thought of leaving my little boy alone in the world," she says.

"I'd reached rock bottom and it took a long time to struggle back up."

Today, Alexandra, 42, has not only recovered but written a new self-help book, Beat Depression And Reclaim Your Life, to give hope to fellow sufferers and offer practical solutions to this debilitating condition that ruins and restricts lives.

By 2020, depression will be the greatest burden of illness after heart disease, according to the World Health Organisation. And the British Medical Association says at least ten per cent of the population is depressed at any one time - that's around five million people.

Now a mother of two sons, aged 14 and five, Alexandra, who lives in Hampshire, is happily remarried with a successful career. Her long recovery took her five years, and only began after she accepted she was depressed.

"Once I had begun to accept I was depressed I stopped betraying myself and sought help. I've gone through total despair and hopelessness. I just felt as though I was enveloped in a huge blackness for years."

When she was at her worst, she reveals she still didn't dare resort to prescription drugs.

"A social worker told me, off the record, I would be vulnerable to having my son removed from me if I did. That spurred me on to find other ways to help myself. All sorts of things were beneficial from keeping a journal of my feelings, improving my diet, counselling and acupuncture."

She believes her own depression began in her teens due to a difficult childhood.

"I was suffering from a buried grief for the childhood I'd never had, which caused depression."

Her crisis came at age 29, when her marriage broke up and she found herself living alone, with her baby son.

"My world crashed, and for the first time I faced up to how awful I felt. I'd been burying my feelings for years by avoiding being alone by having constant relationships and being a workaholic. I was convinced there was something wrong with me but was unable to tell anyone in case they thought I was mad."

Despite this, she says her experience proves depression can be beaten.

"I have a fantastic life now and I know it's totally possible to get over depression," she says.

"There's no quick fix but by making small, positive steps you will overcome it. We are all born in one piece, it's just that as we grow up we have pieces taken away from us. But, with help and by drawing on our inner reserves, we can retrieve those pieces and recover."

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE DEPRESSED:

SURRENDER: Accept you are depressed, fighting it constantly will just exhaust you. Acceptance will bring a sense of relief. This isn't self-indulgent, it is honest.

ONLY DO THE NECESSARY: There's no perfect time to begin your recovery from depression, the time is right now. Give yourself permission to take time out from trying to please others, and drop responsibilities that don't matter. Only do the minimum to keep your life going.

with yourself. It will help you identify what makes you feel "guilty" and what makes you feel "shame". Listening to yourself, and considering your real feelings may lead you to find solutions to your problems.

GET ANGRY/CRY: Depression holds down stuck feelings, and doesn't allow you to move on. Find a private place where you start to release anger safely by screaming, hitting a pillow, or by crying - you may need the help of a therapist. If you are suffering from grief, don't be frightened to cry.

TALK: Share your feelings with someone who knows how you are feeling, not someone who says, "I know many people far worse off than you" or "don't worry, it'll all turn out OK, you'll see".

SORT OUT YOUR BODY: Certain foods exacerbate depression, particularly junk food and snacks. Eat just three meals a day, including five portions of fruit and vegetables. Exercise, even just a long walk, helps you feel better mentally.

LEARNING TO SAY "NO, THANK YOU": Many people get depressed when they compromise and allow others to bully them into doing things. We give in because we are frightened of the consequences of saying, "No, thank you". Learning to refuse requests can make us feel more in control, and happier.