CAROL Hopwood has lost a son - not to a serious illness, a dangerous cult or a team of drug-pushers - but to a another family living less than a mile away.

Fifteen-year-old Luke has taken it upon himself to move in with the family of a friend- and Carol can do nothing about it.

The desperate widow - who is still mourning the death of her husband Paul last year - has contacted social services, the police, even her MP government minister John Denham, but they all say the same thing - nothing can be done.

In the eyes of the law, Carol may still have parental responsibility but it is her child, Luke who is calling the shots - and his interests rather than those of his mother are the only ones being considered, she said. She claims he is not going to school and she fears for his future.

He is living less than a mile away from her, staying at the home of a woman now recognised as his private foster carer, who cannot be named for legal reasons, although not endorsed by social services. Even his child allowance has been transferred to the woman.

"I just don't understand how a woman I had never heard of before all this happened can suddenly be looking after my son - and receiving child benefit for him," said Carol, 52, of Midanbury.

"I feel like I've lost any say in my son's upbringing."

Private foster arrangements are normally instigated by parents when there is a breakdown in the family home and a neighbour or relative takes on the responsibility for the child in question.

Unusually in Luke's case - it is he who has set up the private fostering and his mother Carol can seemingly do nothing about it.

In the weeks immediately following his departure, Carol did all she could to ensure her son still went to school and was properly fed and cared for.

"When he was still at home I used to make him a cup of hot chocolate each morning and warm his clothes on the radiator. I suppose I spoiled him but I know how hard it is to get up in the morning for school.

"Even when he first left home to live with the other family I used to ring him on his mobile to wake him and then pick him up to take him to school - and I would make him sandwiches for lunch. Then I would pick him up and take him to the other family.

"But as time went on it became more difficult to get him to school," she said.

Luke was a longed-for baby. Despite previously giving birth to two daughters - Samantha, now 35, and Mikaela 32 - Carol tried for nine years and underwent fertility treatment in order to conceive Luke. She went on to have another son, Ben who is 14.

It was after a row at the beginning of November 2002, that Luke left home.

"It was very difficult after Paul died and when we had the row I did not think it would lead to this," she said.

He went to the other woman's home because he knew her son and she was sympathetic to his problems. Luke is not attending school and his mother is concerned that he is throwing his future away.

The carer said: "I can associate with Luke and what he's going through because my dad died and I was living on the streets at 15.

"I can appreciate his mother's concern but it's his choice if he stays here or goes home," she said.

She explained she did feel responsible for making him go to school but financial difficulties made it difficult to get him there.

But Carol said: "He is in Year 10 and this is a very important time for him. He was keen to become an electrician but he has lost his work placement and his weekly afternoon at college.

"He is a bright boy and well liked - I hate to see him throw it all away."

Luke told the Echo that he was happy living at the home of the carer and did not wish to return to his mother's house.

Although Carol is still technically responsible for ensuring that Luke attends school, she has been assured by the authorities that no action will be taken against her. They accept that she has tried her best to make her son attend classes.

Carol has contacted every authority to try to secure his return but to no avail. But while all agree he should not be living where he is - they are powerless to force him to return or place him elsewhere.

In a letter to Carol, from Sally Cosstick, a social services team manager, she said: "I can confirm that there appears to be no reason for Luke to be away from home, except of course his own wishes. We do not, therefore, support his placement with the family.

"However, like the police, we cannot take any action to remove Luke or to physically return him home," she said.

Councillor Dennis Harryman, a family friend, has called for a meeting of all agencies to be called to see what can be done.

"There are an awful lot of people involved in Luke's case but I just want to be happy that we are doing everything possible to help and we have a joined-up approach to this case," he said.

Director of social services John Beer said: "We have been talking to all the people involved - we have checked the legal position and are satisfied currently that we have no legal authority to act. We are working hard to help Luke and his family."

A spokesman for the education department said: "The educational welfare of children in Southampton is of paramount importance to us.

"We will always work closely with young people and their families to support them and to ensure that each young person gets the education which is appropriate for their needs."

A spokesman for John Denham's office said they were unable to discuss individual cases.