Do something amazing, transform a life - that was the message during this year's National Adoption Week, which aims to find families for the 5,000 children waiting for adoption. Emma Barnett talks to two couples who made a real difference to children's lives...

FINDING out you cannot have children has to be one of the most devastating discoveries a couple can go through.

But many families turn the experience into a positive one and look towards adoption.

"We couldn't have children of our own," said Anna*.

"I had three nasty experiences and my husband said he wasn't going to see me go through that any more, so we decided to adopt."

Anna and her husband, Daniel*, decided they would like to adopt two children, but ended up taking on three siblings.

The adoption process is a lengthy one, but Anna, 44, said it helped prepare her for the experience.

"We had to attend pre-adoption meetings - some of which were helpful and some of which were a bit peculiar.

"But it really did help to meet other people in the same boat as you, because you do feel isolated and you think no one else has got the same problems as you.

"But other people there had worse problems than us and it helped to put it all in perspective."

After completing a mountain of paperwork, Anna and Daniel, 46, were approved by the adoption panel in 1996 and were immediately offered a placement.

"Apparently our folder had hardly hit the table before it was snapped up," said Anna.

"When they rang up and said 'would you like to come and meet your daughters?' I just collapsed in a big sobbing heap.

"It was crowded when they first moved in, but it just seemed quite natural. It went really well, no big surprises, everybody seemed to fit in their place and it was really quite amazing."

The couple adopted two-year-old twins and their four-year-old sister.

Anna said: "The twins were special needs and we knew that from the start, but we didn't know how bad they would be.

"One of them had quite severe behavioural problems, and had terrible tantrums, but we've gradually got her sorted. She still has the odd turn, but she's much better."

Two years ago Anna and Daniel, from Lyndhurst, were approached by their social worker and told the girls had a half-brother, who they also adopted.

Although the couple's eldest daughter knows that Anna and Daniel are not her natural parents, they have not told the other children they are adopted.

"The special needs children wouldn't understand even if we told them and the youngest one wouldn't understand.

"When he's old enough to understand we'll tell him, but I think it's pointless to put them through any angst unless you have to. They can't do anything about it until they're 18 so it's pointless to put them through years of worry."

The two little girls adopted by Christine and Peter, from Hedge End, have always known that the couple are not their birth parents.

The sisters, who do still see their natural parents on a regular basis, were four and six when they were placed with the couple just over a year ago, but Christine and Peter became mummy and daddy within 24 hours.

Prompted by National Adoption Week three years ago, Christine, 49, and Peter, 46, decided they wanted to adopt older children, to fit in with their own ages.

But the decision was the easy part for Christine.

"It was physically hard to do," she said.

"I picked the phone up five times and put it down again. You don't know really what to do and who to speak to.

"I spoke to a wonderful social worker in a private agency in Bristol and she really guided us as to what we should do and who we should speak to next."

The couple were put on a course from January 2000 and attended various meetings before going before the panel for approval.

It was September when they were given the go-ahead, but not until the following May when they were offered the placement.

Peter, a company director, said: "We were offered a potential placement to look at and we had to think very carefully about it because we thought it might be the only offer that we might get, but we knew that it wasn't for us."

"I knew instinctively," added Christine.

"But I felt distraught that I couldn't help them - and I never even saw a picture of them. I just imagined what they were like."

But the second placement the couple were offered suited them down to the ground and, after several meetings, outings and overnight stays with the children, they moved in with Christine and Peter last summer.

"We were mummy and daddy within 24 hours," said Peter.

"That's how the girls wanted to see it."

But despite their initial elation, the couple said that bringing the girls to live with them was a very emotional and difficult time.

Christine said: "I had a few tears. I cried a few times in the week because it was just so overwhelming. It was fear of your own failure - whether you're able to do it.

"But now they don't not feel our children - I can't imagine that they're not. Every step is something new on the journey and you get such delight from them."

The couple are keen to point out the advantages of adopting older children and want to encourage more people to follow their example.

"I wish more people could see the delight of having older children instead of babies," said Christine.

"They introduce you to a lot of people, they change your life - for the better of course. It's not an easy journey and I can't pretend that it's an easy journey, but every day there's something that makes you smile and gives you so much pleasure."

Peter added: "With older children it's more of a two-way relationship. They can contribute to it. Another advantage with older children is that there's no secrets. They're at an age when they know what's happening."

"The pleasure that they give you is immeasurable really," said Christine.

"They're delightful."

Anna was also quick to encourage people thinking about adopting to find out more.

"There are so many children out there desperate for a family. Even my eldest, she was only four, but she knew that she desperately wanted a proper mummy and daddy. She accepted us from day one and we never looked back really.

"Sometimes it's rough at first, but it sorts itself out and in the end you forget that they're not biologically yours. We have our moments, but every real family does. All I can say is if anybody tried to take them away I would fight to my last breath."

Anyone wanting to find out more about adoption can call the Southampton Adoption Team on 023 8044 6450 or the Hampshire County Adoption Team on 01489 587000.

*Names have been changed.