“UNLESS you’ve walked in my shoes you can’t understand my pain.”

The devastated mum of a Southampton man killed when he was knocked down as he cycled across a main road has spoken for the first time of the grief that will never leave her.

Greg Dear suffered suffered fatal brain injuries after being hit by a car on Millbrook Road West in Southampton, in October 2008.

The 27-year-old carpenter and tiler was just a few hundred yards from arriving at his parents’ house when it happened, at the junction of Regents Park Road.

And living so close to the spot where her son was killed, which is permanently marked by floral tributes, provides a painful reminder that is almost too much for Christine Dear to bear.

“Every time we come out of our gate we can see it,” she told the Daily Echo.

“I can’t go down there. I just can’t bear it. I have to go a different way to work every day.”

Eighteen months to the day after Greg died, a coroner has ruled his death was accidental.

The inquest came two months after a jury acquitted driver Julia Moore, 31, of Rownhams Road, Southampton, of causing Greg’s death by either dangerous or careless driving, after she had been accused of jumping the lights.

Southampton Coroner Keith Wiseman said the trial outcome meant he could only record an accidental death verdict, but added “that doesn’t mean no-one was at fault”.

He said: “I think in every road traffic accident someone is, by definition, almost always at fault, but that’s not reflected in the verdict, but the coroner’s rules don’t allow me to press into those areas.”

Speaking after the hearing, which was too painful for Christine, 52, or husband Steve, 55, to attend, the grieving mum expressed her frustrations at the verdict.

Sitting in her living room, flanked by daughter Claire, 31, Greg’s aunts and a close friend, gazing across at photos of her son and the casket containing his ashes, she said: “Where’s the justice in the system?

“All we’ve got left is our casket, our photographs and memories. It just seems so unfair. People think we’re fine, but we’re not.

“It’s just affected so many people – he used to share a house with his friends, and they’re all devastated.

“It’s destroyed the family completely. Steve is absolutely heartbroken. He’s lost his son and his work partner.

“They spent more time together than a married couple, and now there’s an empty seat in his van that Greg once sat in – I don’t know how he manages to get in that van every day.

“Claire used to be a happygo- lucky woman, but now she doesn’t like to go out – she just gets restless and wants to go home.”

Claire herself said she has struggled to readjust to life without her younger brother.

“We’re in a bubble – it’s such a lonely place to be,” she said.

“You sit at those traffic lights and you can just see the accident in your head and imagine what happened.

“I feel we should be proud because we’ve got up every day and got on with our lives, and there are times when it’s been really difficult and we don’t want to, but we do.”

Organ donor

Greg always insisted he wanted to be an organ donor should the worst ever happen, meaning his family had to make the heartbreaking decision to agree to his lifesupport system being switched off.

Three women received vital operations, two of whom have written to express their gratitude to the Dears.

The family are also now desperate to help ensure other lives are saved, by campaigning for better road safety.

They have learned that there was no film in the red light camera at the junction on the day Greg died, and that it has also been out of action at times since.

“I want to thank everyone who stopped and helped, and who was involved in the case, because they were great. But nothing is going to bring Greg back,” said Christine.

“But having film in those cameras could maybe help other families from going through what we’re going through.

“If there’s going to be any justice for Greg it’s that that camera is working from now on.”