Falklands War veteran dumped by text message

That was the mixed reaction to Dave Mumford’s diabolical/courageous decision to drop superstar/has been Graham Hollick from the Chandler’s Ford Longshots side for the Summer Bonanza semi-final against Totton Wrecks last Monday.

But should the ruthless/Churchillian skipper have delivered the shock/hilarious news via an early morning text message? The guffaws in the bar suggested ‘yes’.

And is Graham actually a Falklands War veteran?

Well...he was one of a gang who removed one of the QE2’s propellers after her return from the South Atlantic. Legally, it should be added.

Did you know the propeller was turned into golf clubs? No, we didn’t either.

Anyway, back to the snooker. Last Saturday, Mitch Wade was struggling to make a 30/exhibiting good matchplay in the Open Series. Like any loyal/treacherous teammate, Graham, who was watching with other members of the selection committee, felt duty bound to text his skipper with an up-to-date form guide.

But Mitch, who did manage to scrape a 51 late in the afternoon, quite rightly/astonishingly got the nod.

At first on Monday, Mitch couldn’t pot a geranium/played a waiting game. However, after a nervy start, he slotted in a 46 break.

And as the 1-0 lead progressed to a 4-0 whitewash, 48-year-old Graham resorted to sipping mugs of tea and hoovering up the buffet laid on by the club.

For the record, Longshots beat Totton Wrecks 4-0. They meet Eastleigh Railway Institute Cuemen, who saw off Shirley Conservative Club 3-1, in the final at 8pm on Monday at Chandler’s Ford Snooker Club.

Mumford has yet to reveal his team line-up.

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