Naomi House: Southampton sibling on how hospice has helped her

11-year-old Jasmine has been visiting Naomi House with her brother Oliver since she was three years old.

Oliver, now 17, has a condition which means he cannot walk or talk and regularly uses the hospice.

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Jasmine has been supported through sibling activity days and one-to-one support - and now, she is encouraging other brothers and sisters to get involved too.

She said: "Oliver is one of the kindest people ever. Even though he can’t really do the things that people would think of as kind, he is just really nice and is fun to be around and is a really easy person to be with."

She added: "We’ve always enjoyed coming to Naomi House. My brother’s room would be downstairs with the nurses and carers, and we would stay in the family rooms upstairs. All of the rooms have names and we actually stayed in the “Jasmine” room once which was good."

One of her highlights is playing outside in the hospice's garden with Oliver.

She said: "It was nice to play with Oliver in a space that he could actually fit in, because most parks are cramped and you can’t really get him and his wheelchair in. But at Naomi House there are special bikes and go-karts and things we could do together. There were mini cars that I could sit in and drive round in for hours on end. It was really fun!"

The pair are also able to use the hydrotherapy pool and sensory room.

Jasmine said she enjoys doing arts and crafts at Naomi House, which offers a range of activities focused on siblings and their emotions, including decorating pillows which they can punch when angry or hug when sad.

The day trips allow siblings to socialise and boost their self-esteem.

One of the sibling activity days this year was a trip to the New Forest.

Jasmine said: "We did lots of climbing activities and team building which I really enjoyed.

"I’ve made quite a few friends at the sibling days and I know that each time I go, they will be there and it’s nice to catch up with them.

"It is a lot easier to talk to them, because some of my other friends may not understand the sort of things that I worry about."

Being able to speak to Jenny - the hospice's Children and Young People's Support Worker - has helped Jasmine deal with her own fears about her brother.

She said: "It’s been really nice to be able to talk to her. It’s helped me a lot. I can talk to her about stuff that sometimes I feel like I can’t talk to most other people about. I speak to Jenny once a week, most of the time and I’ve been doing that for quite a while. 

"Sometimes I worry about Oliver but sometimes it’s about school and other things. I’m also really scared of hospitals and sickness and when stuff like that happens, I get so worried and it can get really bad. Jenny will talk about strategies to try and prevent worries, or to calm me while I’m worrying."

Jenny shared her thoughts.

She said: "Being a sibling of someone with additional needs can be tough, because a lot of family time and attention is focused on their brother or sister’s welfare and health.

"Siblings can feel isolated from their friends, and in some cases lack confidence. They can’t always go to after school clubs, playdates or sleepovers, and weekend plans can be cancelled last minute because their brother or sister is poorly. That’s why it’s vital to be able to offer them support, fun days out or just the chance to share how they’re feeling with people who understand them.

"Jasmine has grown up with Naomi House. She has stayed here with Oliver, come to sibling events and had one to one support that she has found helpful. Oliver will start to visit Jacksplace, our hospice for young adults, and Jasmine will continue to take part in all of the activities and events that she’s used to."