The naked truth about dating a hippy

Daily Echo: The naked truth about dating a hippy The naked truth about dating a hippy

HAVING romantic treats with a New Age lovely is an appealing prospect on the face of it.

Their love of all things nature means even if they aren’t interested you might at least get to see some naked chanting. However, you have to balance the attractions of hot hippy love against the fact people of this persuasion are often unbelievably irritating.

Start down this slippery path and before you know it you are waking up next to a Goth.

My reservations were reinforced sometime ago when I met and briefly dated a gorgeous and charming New Age type.

In my defence, when I first met her she was in a full-length coat so I didn’t realise she was a hippy.

On our first date she was beautifully dressed but I noticed with concern she was wearing those fluffy boot things they favour.

The conversation started pleasantly enough until she mentioned the ecological antics her and her friends had been up to and I foolishly pretended to be interested.

I hadn’t really been listening when she explained what they had been doing but I ventured a non-committal: “So why did you decide to do that?”

She snorted slightly and said incredulously: “To save the world, of course.”

As she was very hot, I looked deeply into my drink, fighting the impulse to mock her misplaced self-confidence and incorrect opinions.

She was remarkably well-informed and interesting but you would be amazed how hard it is to work romantic chatter and innuendo into a conversation about dead otters.

I tried to steer the conversation back to her body and jelly wrestling but to no avail.

It took all my control not to blurt out: “Look I’m aware there are unhappy animals in the world but I would rather they didn’t rear their ugly heads while we’re at quite a swanky restaurant.”

As we got further into our fledgling relationship, her tie-dyed rags crept into her regular wardrobe and made it impossible to take her anywhere nice and, lovely though she was, things fizzled out.

I should have known, as I have been good friends with a few hippy hotties in the past and it was clear from the start there was little hope of crossing into the perilous yet delicious “with benefits” category.

I was never going to embrace their love of spitty little roll-ups and oversized sunglasses, while they would never share my ambitions of owning a house that doesn’t have wheels and working for a living.

Also, they love living in squalor.

I remember getting in a yellow VW van with one of my favourite hippy friends – after I had moved a pile of her underwear and swept Bombay mix from the passenger seat.

During our journey I started to get a headache – possibly because she was rambling on about dolphins or something.

I reached for an aspirin box on the dashboard and shook the contents into my hand.

And there it was, on my palm, the body of a dead bat.

I looked at her aghast, waiting for an explanation as I held the limp leathery corpse in my hand.

She gingerly adjusted her beads and sandals and said: “It hit my windscreen a few days ago and I was hoping I would have been able to revive it.”

“But it’s missing part of its head,” I pointed out.

I was horrified, but comforted myself that I did not feel as bad as a severely concussed bat would have if it had regained consciousness only to discover it had been folded up and tucked in a tiny box.

I refilled the revolting little package and put it back on the dashboard to delight a future migraine sufferer.

Despite her wrong outlook on life, this treehugger is still a close friend and on other road trips with her I have got engine oil on clothes from assorted motor parts and put my knee in a blob of ice cream.

I know what you are thinking – obviously she performed some naked chanting by way of an apology.

Sadly, she did not.

Comments (17)

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1:33pm Wed 6 Jan 10

colinpickford1 says...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
..but she did for me lol.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. ..but she did for me lol. colinpickford1

1:34pm Wed 6 Jan 10

colinpickford1 says...

DANG I just rememberd....it was only a dream!!!
DANG I just rememberd....it was only a dream!!! colinpickford1

4:06pm Thu 7 Jan 10

whovian says...

incorrect opions and wrong outlook on life? what silly phrases,
no I am not a hippy
incorrect opions and wrong outlook on life? what silly phrases, no I am not a hippy whovian

4:52pm Thu 7 Jan 10

RadicalEmu says...

Oh dear, looks like you're a bit narrow minded, and could do with getting out and about more.

Sounds like a lot of stereotyping going on in this excuse for an article.

Why is it here? Did someone at the Echo office think "We haven't had a slightly prejudiced article about subculture in a while"?

Explain, please?
Oh dear, looks like you're a bit narrow minded, and could do with getting out and about more. Sounds like a lot of stereotyping going on in this excuse for an article. Why is it here? Did someone at the Echo office think "We haven't had a slightly prejudiced article about subculture in a while"? Explain, please? RadicalEmu

5:05pm Thu 7 Jan 10

ÚTS says...

RadicalEmu wrote:
Oh dear, looks like you're a bit narrow minded, and could do with getting out and about more. Sounds like a lot of stereotyping going on in this excuse for an article. Why is it here? Did someone at the Echo office think "We haven't had a slightly prejudiced article about subculture in a while"? Explain, please?
I'll explain it for you:

You don't have a sense of humour and couldn't spot an irrevent article if it slapped you in the face.

No need to thank me.
[quote][p][bold]RadicalEmu[/bold] wrote: Oh dear, looks like you're a bit narrow minded, and could do with getting out and about more. Sounds like a lot of stereotyping going on in this excuse for an article. Why is it here? Did someone at the Echo office think "We haven't had a slightly prejudiced article about subculture in a while"? Explain, please?[/p][/quote]I'll explain it for you: You don't have a sense of humour and couldn't spot an irrevent article if it slapped you in the face. No need to thank me. ÚTS

5:18pm Thu 7 Jan 10

RadicalEmu says...

ÚTS wrote:
RadicalEmu wrote:
Oh dear, looks like you're a bit narrow minded, and could do with getting out and about more. Sounds like a lot of stereotyping going on in this excuse for an article. Why is it here? Did someone at the Echo office think "We haven't had a slightly prejudiced article about subculture in a while"? Explain, please?
I'll explain it for you:

You don't have a sense of humour and couldn't spot an irrevent article if it slapped you in the face.

No need to thank me.
I never knew you knew me so well to comment on my personality.

Whatever the intention of the article, it's still narrow-minded, and if it was meant to be funny, well, it failed. I can't stand stereotyping. Oh well.

Do you often try to insult people on forums? Maybe your "No need to thank me." was supposed to be humour too?

Right, I think I'll make this my quota for pointless, faceless argument for 2010, it's been fun.
[quote][p][bold]ÚTS[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]RadicalEmu[/bold] wrote: Oh dear, looks like you're a bit narrow minded, and could do with getting out and about more. Sounds like a lot of stereotyping going on in this excuse for an article. Why is it here? Did someone at the Echo office think "We haven't had a slightly prejudiced article about subculture in a while"? Explain, please?[/p][/quote]I'll explain it for you: You don't have a sense of humour and couldn't spot an irrevent article if it slapped you in the face. No need to thank me.[/p][/quote]I never knew you knew me so well to comment on my personality. Whatever the intention of the article, it's still narrow-minded, and if it was meant to be funny, well, it failed. I can't stand stereotyping. Oh well. Do you often try to insult people on forums? Maybe your "No need to thank me." was supposed to be humour too? Right, I think I'll make this my quota for pointless, faceless argument for 2010, it's been fun. RadicalEmu

12:06am Fri 8 Jan 10

ElishaJ says...

RadicalEmu wrote:
ÚTS wrote:
RadicalEmu wrote: Oh dear, looks like you're a bit narrow minded, and could do with getting out and about more. Sounds like a lot of stereotyping going on in this excuse for an article. Why is it here? Did someone at the Echo office think "We haven't had a slightly prejudiced article about subculture in a while"? Explain, please?
I'll explain it for you: You don't have a sense of humour and couldn't spot an irrevent article if it slapped you in the face. No need to thank me.
I never knew you knew me so well to comment on my personality. Whatever the intention of the article, it's still narrow-minded, and if it was meant to be funny, well, it failed. I can't stand stereotyping. Oh well. Do you often try to insult people on forums? Maybe your "No need to thank me." was supposed to be humour too? Right, I think I'll make this my quota for pointless, faceless argument for 2010, it's been fun.
RadicalEmu you are a silly girl, you massively misunderstand an article that is obviously beyond you. You then call the author narrow-minded and prejudiced. Then when another person dares to call your sense of humour into question you throw a tantrum about them insulting you whilst slinging more mud yourself.
I don't know you but I can surmise that you aren't particularly intelligent as you clearly don't understand subtlety, subtext or word play. This is clearly a provocative article written for humour to illicit reaction and the fact that you stupidly accept at as a damning critique on all hippies makes me feel quite sorry for you. I am justified in saying you have no sense of humour because you don't think this piece was funny. Oh and Whovian you're just a ****
[quote][p][bold]RadicalEmu[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]ÚTS[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]RadicalEmu[/bold] wrote: Oh dear, looks like you're a bit narrow minded, and could do with getting out and about more. Sounds like a lot of stereotyping going on in this excuse for an article. Why is it here? Did someone at the Echo office think "We haven't had a slightly prejudiced article about subculture in a while"? Explain, please?[/p][/quote]I'll explain it for you: You don't have a sense of humour and couldn't spot an irrevent article if it slapped you in the face. No need to thank me.[/p][/quote]I never knew you knew me so well to comment on my personality. Whatever the intention of the article, it's still narrow-minded, and if it was meant to be funny, well, it failed. I can't stand stereotyping. Oh well. Do you often try to insult people on forums? Maybe your "No need to thank me." was supposed to be humour too? Right, I think I'll make this my quota for pointless, faceless argument for 2010, it's been fun.[/p][/quote]RadicalEmu you are a silly girl, you massively misunderstand an article that is obviously beyond you. You then call the author narrow-minded and prejudiced. Then when another person dares to call your sense of humour into question you throw a tantrum about them insulting you whilst slinging more mud yourself. I don't know you but I can surmise that you aren't particularly intelligent as you clearly don't understand subtlety, subtext or word play. This is clearly a provocative article written for humour to illicit reaction and the fact that you stupidly accept at as a damning critique on all hippies makes me feel quite sorry for you. I am justified in saying you have no sense of humour because you don't think this piece was funny. Oh and Whovian you're just a **** ElishaJ

7:40am Fri 8 Jan 10

Redback says...

I wonder why Simon's single...?
lol
I wonder why Simon's single...? lol Redback

11:22am Fri 8 Jan 10

nyah says...

If anybody thinks there is anything funny about this article then they are wrong. It's about as funny as a rape joke, or maybe you'd find that funny too?

The article is full of prejudice and misogyny. The style of writing would be what I'd expect from a 14 year old, not from a 'columnist of the year'.... the others must be really bad.

I don't think radicalemu threw any mud. The article is full of muck already.
If anybody thinks there is anything funny about this article then they are wrong. It's about as funny as a rape joke, or maybe you'd find that funny too? The article is full of prejudice and misogyny. The style of writing would be what I'd expect from a 14 year old, not from a 'columnist of the year'.... the others must be really bad. I don't think radicalemu threw any mud. The article is full of muck already. nyah

12:06pm Fri 8 Jan 10

Saint Cope says...

What an arrogant loser. She was obviously far too intelligent for this stupid man.
What an arrogant loser. She was obviously far too intelligent for this stupid man. Saint Cope

1:00pm Fri 8 Jan 10

ÚTS says...

What a humourless, self-righteous bunch of morons.
What a humourless, self-righteous bunch of morons. ÚTS

2:05pm Fri 8 Jan 10

Jesus_02 says...

nyah wrote:
If anybody thinks there is anything funny about this article then they are wrong. It's about as funny as a rape joke, or maybe you'd find that funny too?

The article is full of prejudice and misogyny. The style of writing would be what I'd expect from a 14 year old, not from a 'columnist of the year'.... the others must be really bad.

I don't think radicalemu threw any mud. The article is full of muck already.
Do you actually know any "Rape Jokes"

lol Radical Emu! WTF!

Yes, Simon is obviously a bit of a turd that doesnt have the sense to put someone else's photo on the article but at least he has had a go.

Its not the best example of satire but it is at least an attempt.

At least it gave you an opportunity to vent some angst at a guy with a haircut and to mention "Rape Jokes"

(I still cant get my hat on about that!)
[quote][p][bold]nyah[/bold] wrote: If anybody thinks there is anything funny about this article then they are wrong. It's about as funny as a rape joke, or maybe you'd find that funny too? The article is full of prejudice and misogyny. The style of writing would be what I'd expect from a 14 year old, not from a 'columnist of the year'.... the others must be really bad. I don't think radicalemu threw any mud. The article is full of muck already.[/p][/quote]Do you actually know any "Rape Jokes" lol Radical Emu! WTF! Yes, Simon is obviously a bit of a turd that doesnt have the sense to put someone else's photo on the article but at least he has had a go. Its not the best example of satire but it is at least an attempt. At least it gave you an opportunity to vent some angst at a guy with a haircut and to mention "Rape Jokes" (I still cant get my hat on about that!) Jesus_02

11:55am Sat 9 Jan 10

freemantlegirl2 says...

Come on ladies, lighten up a bit. This isn't necessarily verbatum a bit of satire and poetic licence going on. Stereotyping is inappropiriate sometimes but this isn't one of them, most of this is done with tongue firmly in cheek.

But Simon, I think us 'women' should get our revenge! The Echo should run a competition for a date with Simon and then the 'winner' can write about it afterwards and stereotype to her hearts content about journalists (let's face it there's a lot of material to be found ;), single men over 30, erectile dysfunction and a plethora of other sexist stuff that I'm sure Simon would take in good stead :P I would love to go on a 'date' with Simon, I would give him a run for his money he'd never forget :p it would be sport of the most amusing kind!
Come on ladies, lighten up a bit. This isn't necessarily verbatum a bit of satire and poetic licence going on. Stereotyping is inappropiriate sometimes but this isn't one of them, most of this is done with tongue firmly in cheek. But Simon, I think us 'women' should get our revenge! The Echo should run a competition for a date with Simon and then the 'winner' can write about it afterwards and stereotype to her hearts content about journalists (let's face it there's a lot of material to be found ;), single men over 30, erectile dysfunction and a plethora of other sexist stuff that I'm sure Simon would take in good stead :P I would love to go on a 'date' with Simon, I would give him a run for his money he'd never forget :p it would be sport of the most amusing kind! freemantlegirl2

8:10pm Sun 10 Jan 10

Sir Ad E Noid says...

Simon,

I am still laughing. More please, and girls, you do need to get out more and start wearing your 34As instead of always trying to burn them. LOL. Titter.

Sir Ad E Noid.
Simon, I am still laughing. More please, and girls, you do need to get out more and start wearing your 34As instead of always trying to burn them. LOL. Titter. Sir Ad E Noid. Sir Ad E Noid

11:10am Mon 11 Jan 10

Linesman says...

I wonder what happened when/if this idealistic hippy grew up. Does she still cling to the 'way-out' ideals and ideas of her youth?
Strange thing is, those hippies of the 60's are now in their 60s. The few that held true to their 'ideals' are easy to spot.
The real survivors are the blokes with very wide partings in their hair, with a long pony tail and also an ear ring or two. The women dress in weird, multicoloured, miss-match clothing, obtained from charity shops, adorning themselves with numerous strings of beads and wearing studs in the nose and home-made ear rings.
The ones that did not quite hack it are now to be found in Salvation Army soup queues and kipping out in shop doorways!
I wonder what happened when/if this idealistic hippy grew up. Does she still cling to the 'way-out' ideals and ideas of her youth? Strange thing is, those hippies of the 60's are now in their 60s. The few that held true to their 'ideals' are easy to spot. The real survivors are the blokes with very wide partings in their hair, with a long pony tail and also an ear ring or two. The women dress in weird, multicoloured, miss-match clothing, obtained from charity shops, adorning themselves with numerous strings of beads and wearing studs in the nose and home-made ear rings. The ones that did not quite hack it are now to be found in Salvation Army soup queues and kipping out in shop doorways! Linesman

11:44am Tue 12 Jan 10

listhater says...

As someone who doesn't normally bother to read articles by failed writers (well it has to be ego over ability doesn't it, because if they could write they wouldn't be doing THIS for a living) I was given a link to this childish piece as a contender for The Worst Journalist Of The Year. I think we might have a winner dated 5th January!
Go the rest of you rubbish journalists, you go 12 months to beat this! He has set the bar real high I know...
And UTS, maybe you should get treatment for all that anger.
As someone who doesn't normally bother to read articles by failed writers (well it has to be ego over ability doesn't it, because if they could write they wouldn't be doing THIS for a living) I was given a link to this childish piece as a contender for The Worst Journalist Of The Year. I think we might have a winner dated 5th January! Go the rest of you rubbish journalists, you go 12 months to beat this! He has set the bar real high I know... And UTS, maybe you should get treatment for all that anger. listhater

1:57pm Tue 12 Jan 10

Jesus_02 says...

sounds like a competition is needed to date freemantlegirl2?
sounds like a competition is needed to date freemantlegirl2? Jesus_02

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