THE first snowflake that hits the grounds affects children and adults differently.

To children it means the day off school, snowball fights and building snowmen.

For adults it equates to long, stressful journeys, being cold and soaring heating costs.

To teachers it means a day off work.

I was dwelling on the point as I stood shivering at a bus stop in Bitterne last week but was compensated by the emergence of snow bunnies.

Women who look even more adorable than usual in cute little hats, gloves and scarves.

One of the said bunnies, wearing sweet, pink earmuffs and looking like she had just stepped out of a salon, came over to me ask about the buses.

Just as I was about to reply I had seen none despite waiting more than an hour a nearby idiot piped up that he had seen at least five.

Admittedly he had arrived before me but I had noticed every time somebody new turned up the number of mythical vehicles he had seen but rejected had increased.

Now more than 30 people were in the queue after being confidently told the road would soon be gridlocked by the hundreds of buses that were sure to be waiting around the corner.

I begun to wonder why he had not got on any of these buses and was choosing to annoy people with weak jokes and lies about public transport.

Perhaps he was an unsuccessful comedian who realised the snow had given him an audience that couldn’t escape.

I chatted to the hot girl in the earmuffs but gradually started to think I was hallucinating as every car in the distance now looked like a bus and then a dog walked past wearing people clothes.

Finally our bus arrived and I moved aside for her to be chivalrous only to watch an army of pensioners who had arrived after everyone else push in and start boarding.

Years of bus travel had obviously taught these cunning swines some tricks.

As we got on I tried to think of a way of restarting my conversation with the fittie, but just I was about to compliment her earmuffs the last remaining pensioner barged me from behind to try and get the only remaining seat.

I was now out of range and my chance was gone.

To make myself feel better I raced ahead and got the seat to make this old woman realise I did not tolerate this kind of behaviour.