Yachty hotties

2:33pm Tuesday 29th March 2011 in Leisure Photograph of the Author By Simon Carr, Eastleigh Chief Reporter

Yachty hotties at Cowes Yachty hotties at Cowes

THERE is a kind of woman who I can immediately tell is a boat person.

They are devastatingly attractive, well-turned out, usually slightly sun-kissed and there is also something indefinable I can’t quite put my finger on.

Just this week my gift kicked in again when I met a bevy of beauties and immediately identified them as yachty hotties.

On this occasion I cannot take all the credit as we were on a marina, talking about sailing and at least one was carrying a remote control boat.

I have met a few ladies of the sea in my time and it always amazes me how they can be winching in a line or carrying a canoe but still look like they have just stepped out of a salon.

I am sure these women are the direct descendants of mermaids.

However, I always feel like a fraud because despite always having lived near the sea all my life I know nothing about sailing.

I used to go on my friend’s yacht a lot when younger but he was a highly decorated boating type and we were always joined by several people more helpful than me.

This meant my main role was to sit on the deck drinking beer and eating sugar cubes.

It is a shame I never picked up these skills as the girls I knew from college always seemed partially seduced by my reflected glamourous lifestyle.

I explained to him his job was to own and operate a yacht I was there in more of a meet and greet capacity.

He seemed dubious about my version of our seafaring relationship as I grabbed another handful of sugar cubes.

Years later I started spending a lot a time with a lady sailor.

I remember she casually mentioned her and some hippy friends occasionally moored up at a naturist resort for a couple of days.

I think she immediately realised it was a mistake to tell this to a single man.

There was an awkward silence and I knew I had to say something before she realised my brain was frantically creating an image of her and her friends laughing girlishly and splashing each other in the sea.

Sadly the conversation ended with her laughing and saying: “What kind of morally bankrupt person would lie about being a naturist?”

Comments(17)

freemantlegirl2 says...
4:29pm Tue 29 Mar 11

Simon have to agree with Mr Harsh, you've lost your mojo lately!! I think you need a good woman to find it again... this is even worse than last week's :/....

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MrHarsh says...
7:40pm Tue 29 Mar 11

And you're back in the room! Although Simon seems to have forgotten that he was actually meeting the "yachties" to launch an Echo competition - the previous day's paper had a photo of the young lady in question - a speedboat driver, rather than a "yachty" - towering over Simon in what looked like a borrowed suit, so his powers of deduction were definitely not needed. The rather puzzling punchline didn't add overmuch to the slightly creepy content this week. Apparently Simon has simultaneously grown up in the countryside and by the coast and has learnt nothing about either. Hmm..
Anyway, I've turned up the power on the Harshometer but this content, poor syntax and spelling mean that we can only award 100 milliHarshs this week. Come on Simon, you were potentially in the O level set.

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John Sydenham says...
9:04pm Tue 29 Mar 11

"...and there is also something indefinable I can’t quite put my finger on." Well I never.

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BurningRAGE says...
12:28pm Wed 30 Mar 11

What a D**k, I'm still astonished he gets published....

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freemantlegirl2 says...
1:55pm Wed 30 Mar 11

I think this column may have come to a natural end Simon, unless you go and get yourself a girlfriend or start dating in a BIG way. You've run out of material, it's never good to soldier on when it's like that.....

lol@MrHarsh!

BurningRage are you calling Simon a Duck? in line with the water theme?

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Raxx says...
9:48pm Wed 30 Mar 11

It's like a time travel machine back to the pig-ignorance and crass attitudes of the 1980s.

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BurningRAGE says...
9:20am Thu 31 Mar 11

freemantlegirl2 wrote:
I think this column may have come to a natural end Simon, unless you go and get yourself a girlfriend or start dating in a BIG way. You've run out of material, it's never good to soldier on when it's like that..... lol@MrHarsh! BurningRage are you calling Simon a Duck? in line with the water theme?
Hi Freemantlegirl, unfortuinately after reading the tripe churned out by simon my immediate thought was not "what a duck"... I was actually referring to a part of the male human anatomy which clealy Simon hasnt used of late, otherwise he wouldnt be talking such **** about the yacht girls. lol

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GoodnessGraciousMe says...
12:20pm Thu 31 Mar 11

It seriously worries me that the Echo prints this sexist crap!

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Bassett-Mikey says...
1:24pm Thu 31 Mar 11

GoodnessGraciousMe wrote:
It seriously worries me that the Echo prints this sexist crap!
thats not the only sort of cr@p it prints is it? Why single out the sexist, thats a very bigotted thing to do :)

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Ocean Village observer says...
3:36pm Thu 31 Mar 11

Inane rubbish from a sad little man.

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MrHarsh says...
7:27pm Thu 31 Mar 11

Wow, and I thought I was harsh....
Simon has his tongue pretty firmly in his cheek with the sexism stuff, but I don't think he always considers how it might sound - some of his recent efforts don't even seem to have been read before submission. I know it sounds all Major-General Bufton Tufton but I would expect a journalist to get his spelling and grammar right. With the technology available, there is no excuse. It just seems discourteous to the reader not to check your copy.
I noticed yet another article, this time with his "business journalist of the year (london and southwest)" squeezed out of meeting the powerboating woman. You can't fault his ingenuity. Mind you , the way he wrote about her in this article, I doubt if she'll be too impressed.

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freemantlegirl2 says...
2:35pm Fri 1 Apr 11

BurningRAGE wrote:
freemantlegirl2 wrote:
I think this column may have come to a natural end Simon, unless you go and get yourself a girlfriend or start dating in a BIG way. You've run out of material, it's never good to soldier on when it's like that..... lol@MrHarsh! BurningRage are you calling Simon a Duck? in line with the water theme?
Hi Freemantlegirl, unfortuinately after reading the tripe churned out by simon my immediate thought was not "what a duck"... I was actually referring to a part of the male human anatomy which clealy Simon hasnt used of late, otherwise he wouldnt be talking such **** about the yacht girls. lol
Omg, was in stitches reading your response!! lololol

That has made my day thank you! ;)!

I agree with BR Simon, you need to get LAID!

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Cpt. Kirk's illegitimate love child says...
7:55am Sat 2 Apr 11

And dare I suggest that you do too? Perhaps Burningrage could oblige.

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freemantlegirl2 says...
7:32pm Sat 2 Apr 11

Cpt. Kirk's illegitimate love child wrote:
And dare I suggest that you do too? Perhaps Burningrage could oblige.
That my dear is for me to know ;)

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MrHarsh says...
10:53am Mon 4 Apr 11

Perusing Saturday's edition, I saw a "puff" piece about Katie "Jordan" Price appearing somewhere in Eastleigh to her adoring public. I don't normally bother to read these pieces - I don't object to them, but I don't think I'm the target demographic. However, I noticed that Simon was the co-author of the piece. Still didn't read it, but it got me imagining this week's SITC. A meeting between a controversial sex-symbol turned-writer and Katie Price. (Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week). I believe Ms. Price is currently between divorces, so maybe the silver-tongued charmer could weave his magic?

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Bigrich1980 says...
12:02pm Mon 4 Apr 11

to be honest thought the article was the biggest load of dribble i have ever read - however, the pic at the top is nice, keep it up ladies. Looking good.

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Burton Saint says...
6:15pm Mon 4 Apr 11

About 12 months ago I was severely leant on by this 'journalist' (he even posted on here under an assumed name!) and his cronies for having the temerity to suggest his ramblings were primitive, immature and naive. This is the first time in months I've read the article and only then because I am a 'yachtie'.

It's gratifying to see that I am not alone in holding his writing skills in low esteem.

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