When mum-of-three, CLARE MORGAN was diagnosed with breast cancer, her world fell apart but thanks to breast cancer support centre, The Haven, she beat it. 

Clare, 59, shares her moving story and tells how she will do whatever it takes to ensure the charity has the funds needed to help thousands of others battling the disease

"I WAS diagnosed when I was 51, just before Christmas.

When they told me I had cancer, I was absolutely knocked sideways. I said ‘no, can’t be me.’ I have two boys and a daughter, who was only ten at the time.

I said to my husband ‘whatever you do, don’t tell the children’. I really didn’t want them to know because I actually couldn’t even say the word cancer, it just made me feel sick. All I could think about was just getting rid of it quickly.

My worry was that in the July I had a mammogram and that was clear, but by the December, I was stage two already. I couldn’t wait any longer. I just wanted it out.

I found my own surgeon and managed to get an operation on January 3. I felt really fit, very healthy, I was in the gym, I ran, I walked miles, I was happy, I had a part-time job with British Airways as cabin crew. Life was fine, then suddenly, bang. It hits you.

I wanted to be alive to see my children grow up. I was really worried. I didn’t want them to know what I faced. To me, cancer meant death.

I couldn’t concentrate on anything else apart from going in the dark tunnel to get rid of the cancer and to get better. I had the lump removed and lymphatic nodes removed under my left arm. The radiotherapy was fine. I was very lucky I didn’t have to have chemo.

The support I had was fantastic with the nurses, doctors, oncologists. But once I stopped, that’s when my trouble came.

What they don’t tell you is all the side effects from the tablets. You hit the wall at 80mph and then the menopause hits you.

All my confidence went, I was so tearful. If ever anyone gave me sympathy I just ran away. I didn’t want to see anyone or socialise. I was just trying to hold my family together, but struggling to do that.

I didn’t say the ‘c’ word all the way through that time. It was only when one of my son’s said ‘Mum, have you got a tumour?’ They were used to me flying off with British Airways, but of course I couldn’t fly because I had radiotherapy. I always said if the children asked I would never lie. I said ‘I did but it’s gone’. I said ‘I am going back to work, I promise you I am better.’

But I wasn’t, up here, in my head, I wasn’t. I couldn’t face going back to work. I was in charge of an aircraft. To see those faces and to have an angry businessman moan because we were five minutes late taking off, to me I burst. Worried about five minutes when I could have died? I was in a right mess. I think I was very depressed actually, crying a lot and I wasn’t sleeping.

It was a neighbour who said to me ‘Clare, go to The Haven’ give them a ring, they will help. I plucked up the courage to go to the specialist support centre which is free to anyone who has ever been affected by breast cancer.

It is very tranquil, just like a Haven and for the first time since the diagnosis I thought ‘I am going to be alright’.

I saw a nurse and poured out my worries. You could just forget the outside world and I couldn’t believe the difference. I went from rock bottom back up to a ‘ten’ within two or three weeks. It made me rethink life.

I took early redundancy, moved out of London, rented a house in the New Forest before buying a farmhouse in Cranborne.

Today I work in the Ringwood Health Clinic and when I got the call saying they are fundraising to open The Haven in Wessex, I said I’d do whatever it takes to help.

Now, thanks to the support from the charity, I don’t worry about the small things. I’m very aware of my environment. I love nature. I love the sea, love the forest, I take in all the beauty. Before I was on a treadmill, kids, tea, bed, read a book, work, all again. I didn’t take any notice of how beautiful this earth is and really that’s just silly.

Materialistic things are irrelevant. As long as you’ve got your health, you’ve got your wealth. You have to live in the now and enjoy each day as it comes because you don’t know what’s around the corner. 

For more information go to: thehaven.org.uk