Coping with domestic violence

IT WAS only when Elizabeth was admitted to hospital with a suspected fractured skull that she decided she must leave her violent husband for good.

For years she had put up with his moods, constant put-downs and physical abuse.

The head injury came during their worst ever fight. She had just had a bath and what followed resulted in her fleeing from her home blood soaked and terrified.

As usual her drunken husband was displeased by some seemingly innocent action that he misconstrued. His uncontrollable anger saw him beat and belittle the woman he professed to love.

Elizabeth, 35, from Hampshire was forced to walk through smashed glass in her bare feet and ended up running down the street where she lived, wrapped only in a towel with blood pouring from her head where she had been hit.

It would be easy to dismiss Elizabeth as a weak woman who should know better than to put up with her husband's bullying and violence.

But she is a well-respected teacher who has risen to be head of year at the school where she works.

Until recently none of her colleagues were aware of the torment she suffered at her husband's hands.

She covered up the bruises and dismissed other cuts and marks as just accidents around the home. But now they know the full horror of what has happened to her.

Elizabeth tried to take her husband to court but on the day she was due to give evidence against him she couldn't summon the courage to face him - and stayed away.

Even now as she sits in the rented accommodation she has moved to, Elizabeth is scared of what her husband will do to her - and whether she is strong enough to stay away.

"I admit there have been moments when I have thought about going back. He says he has changed and that it won't happen again.

"But I don't believe him. I want to stay away but sometimes it's very difficult," she said.

It's a story that is all too familiar for PC Eileen Speck. As Domestic Abuse Co-ordinator for the Hampshire force, she has seen many women suffer horrific injuries and then refuse to press charges against their partner.

She is working with women like Elizabeth to support them through the court process and help them face their violent partner.

Sophie, 40, knows what it is like to stand up in court and give evidence against the person who abused her.

Her partner was found not-guilty but she still felt totally liberated by the experience.

"I didn't want to be there at all. If I could have walked out, I would have done.

"In fact at one time I told Eileen I was going to the loo and I tried to run away then - but I was so disorientated I couldn't find may way out and I had to stay," she said.

Standing in the witness box, she clutched her handbag to her body to stop her hands from shaking as she gave her evidence.

"I know he was found not guilty but I left the court feeling so much better.

"We have a child together and so I must see my partner for the sake of my child, but I will not put up with him treating me so badly.

"He knows that if he starts on me I will call the police and take him back to court again," she said.

It is predominantly women who Eileen helps but she does deal with some same sex and male victims.

"I am dealing with all forms of abuse - physical, emotional and mental," she said.

When the police have been called to an incident in the home, Eileen will follow-up with a call to the victim.

"We will meet up for a coffee and chat about their options. If we are constantly being called to a couple's home because they are arguing, I will make contact and hope we are able to quickly resolve the situation," she said.

By supporting victims through the process, Eileen hopes more will have the courage to go to court.

"So many women retract before it comes to court and that is such a pity. I can understand they feel they are going to sink under the pressure but if they can manage to go to court they will feel so much better," she said.

The names of the victims have been changed to conceal their identity.