All of Babs

ON Tuesday May 22 much of the nation sat glued to the telly watching EastEnders as Peggy Mitchell bid an emotional farewell to the Queen Vic.

'Bubbly' Barbara Windsor, who was recently voted the most loved woman in the land after The Queen Mother, confesses she found it very emotional playing that scene and then watching herself afterwards.

"I sat down to watch it when it came on TV, and all these memories came flooding back," says Babs.

"We shot it at half past eleven at night and I was all on my ownon the set. It was just very sad."

Christened Barbara Ann Deeks, or Babs as her friends and fans call her, says she doesn't find it hard to summon up the tears when they're needed for a scene.

"When you've been around for as long as I have you've got a lot to draw on. I just think about some of the dodgy things that have happened in my life - the lows."

And boy, has Babs had a few of those in her time, something she's not been shy about revealing in her recent autobiography All of Me.

In it she writes candidly about her life including her upbringing as a working-class Londoner whose

parents were always bickering; her mother's unpredictable moods and constant criticism and the father whom she adored but who abandoned her after her parents divorced.

Nothing is left out: her first marriage to the gangster Ronnie Knight - once dubbed 'Britain's Most Wanted Man'; her adulterous affair with Carry On co-star Sid James; her two marriages to men much younger than herself; her brief

dabble with cosmetic surgery and her five abortions.

It's the life story of a plucky young girl who saw herself as "a short, fat, bus conductor's daughter" who loved to sing, dance and entertain and who grew up to become a national institution.

But there's more to Barbara Windsor than the chirpy,

cockney sparrow with the throaty giggle. More than the tarty blonde with the bouncing boobs and seaside postcard sauciness of the Carry On films. More, even, than EastEnders' po-faced Peggy Mitchell who she plays so convincingly.

In the flesh the petite, 64-year-old actress looks easily 20 years younger. She has glowing skin,

perfect teeth and appears prettier, less brassy and altogether 'softer' than she ever has on screen.

Dressed in lilac jeans and jacket she sits pertly at the table with those famous breasts covered by a loose-fitting T-shirt, talking animatedly about her work and her private life. Apart from the occasional "alright darlin" and "sweetheart" there's no trace of the over-the-top cockney banter we've seen on the big screen. She's charming, funny, earnest and engaging - and it's completely disarming.

No subject is taboo, she's happy to talk about anything and everything. It's like having a chin-wag with your oldest and best mate. She talks with affection about the mum who was her sternest critic. Still missing her 20 years after her death from cancer, Babs wishes Rose Deeks could be around to see how well her only child is doing in in the nation's top soap, and what a success her marriage to third

husband, Scott Mitchell has turned out to be and, of course to see her collect her coveted MBE from the Queen.

"She once said to me 'they'll never do you on This is Your Life Babs, because of the life you've led'."

A devastating thing for a mum to say, but this plucky little woman whose middle names are hard work and determination and who has had her fair share of heartache, retaliated with characteristic bravado.

"I said, 'but mum, why not?'. I've done my work. I'm a good lady. Just because I've got involved along the line with a couple of people who've been guests of Her Majesty's prison, that's got nothing to do with me."

That's a reference, of course, not just to her ex-husband, but also to her much publicised friendship with the notorious East End gangsters, The Krays.

"I only met the Kray twins because they came round to my dressing room one night after a show. I went out with their elder brother Charlie a few times. He was everything I found attractive in a man: gentle, giggly, happy-go-lucky. But they were hardly romantic dates because, for some reason, Charlie always had a mate in tow - Limehouse Willy or Big Scotch Pat."

It wasn't only her underworld

connections that generated so much attention from the tabloid press and titillated the public, there was also her affair with Sid James who she says she didn't fancy at all to

begin with.

"I thought he was a very nice, sweet man, but I wasn't physically attracted to him when we first met at a Variety Club charity gala in 1951."

Later though, she remembers being on the set of Carry On King Henry with him when, she says, "something changed between us"

a something that heralded the

start of " a love that would become an all-consuming, suffocating

obsession."

He pursued her relentlessly until she eventually succumbed to his craggy-faced charm and flattery.

"Sid made me feel marvellous -

he oozed love for me. He was very demonstrative. I'd never known anything like it."

If All of Me reads like a bonkbuster, Babs is making no apologies. She holds nothing back and writes frankly about her sex life, admitting that she was "a bit of a goer" and telling of her numerous affairs with celebrities like footballer George Best, Bee Gees' brother Maurice Gibb and jazz legend Ronnie Scott - who she says was a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" merchant, who took her to a seedy Soho room for an afternoon tryst, then left her to catch the bus home alone.

As expected there are anecdotes and recollections about her many showbusiness friends and aquaintances, including her long friendship with Southampton's Danny La Rue, who she recalls once "laid out" a member of the audience who was heckling her, with an impressive right hook. An incident that prompted the start of his catchphrase: 'Don't let this wig fool you.'

Barbara is the kind of woman for whom the song Je Ne Regrette Rien might have been written. She says there's no memory that makes her unhappy and lots that make her grateful for her life. And, while she loves playing the Mitchells' mum in EastEnders, she confesses she has never felt any maternal instinct in real life.

"I don't have children. I never wanted a family, I wanted this life," she says with typical candour.

"I'm the kind of person who gives 101 per cent to my work, so I

couldn't have a baby. I knew it wouldn't be right for me.

Controversially, she reveals in her autobiography that she has had five abortions.

"Some of my friends said to me 'oh, Babs, did you have to be so honest'. They were worried that I would get hurt and

people would send me nasty letters.

"But you have to know that life and what it was like. In those days we had no sex education, no contraception. Some people see that word 'abortion' and they immediately disapprove, they don't really read what went on in my life. I did try different forms of contraception but they just didn't work."

But not all response has been negative.

"Many of my girlfriends have supported my decisions, and I have had lots of letters of support from my fans."

It's that love affair with the British public that is probably her greatest. Barbara Windsor has been a crowd-pleaser ever since she first discovered she had a talent for entertaining when she was a little girl. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

"I love the public's affection for me and I try very hard to never let them down. No matter how I'm

feeling, I'll always be the 'bubbly' Barbara Windsor they want to see.

Contrary to her mum's prediction, Babs did eventually get the This is Your Life big red book presented to her by Michael Aspel.

"I said to him, 'darlin' you can't do my life - it's so naughty, and he turned to the audience and said: 'I know the naughty bits, but they don't.'"

We do now.

n All of Me: My Extraordinary Life by Barbara Windsor and Robin McGibbon is published by Headline Books at £6.99.