IT WAS a guilt she struggled to live with for 16 years.

But ultimately the heartache of killing her own son proved too much to bear and Tara O’Connell took her own life.

Miss O’Connell was found dead in her Southampton flat after taking a lethal dose of an anti psychotic drug.

The death of the 42- year-old came 16 years after she strangled her ten-year-old son Nathan Beale with a silk scarf, believing he was trying to poison her. She was found at her home in Suffolk Avenue, on December 17 last year, after the alarm was raised by her surviving son Jacob.

Police Constable Gavin Williams told the court that Jacob feared for his mother’s welfare after receiving a call from her the day before during which she said “she had no reason to live anymore and was talking about her other son”.

In June 1996 Miss O’Connell, who also went by the names of Tara Beale and Tara Maguire, was detained indefinitely at a secure mental health hospital in Fareham after admitting to the manslaughter of Nathan on the grounds of diminished responsibility.

The ten-year-old, who was described as a polite little boy who loved fishing and boats, was found dead in their Wareham home in Dorset by workmen after his mum was seen running into the street screaming on September 13, 1995.

Speaking at her sentencing at the Royal Courts of Justice in London, Dr John Stone, the consultant in charge of the then 26-year-old’s case told the court: “Given Miss Beale’s upbringing I would be surprised if she did not have a personality disorder.”

Nathan’s death came four months after he and his brother were returned to Miss O’Connell after a four-month stay in hospital following a suicide attempt and the breakdown of a long-term relationship at the end of 1994.

Southampton Coroner’s Court was told that doctors believed she “would make a full recovery”.

At the time of the killing neighbours blamed Dorset Social Services for what happened but an independent review of Nathon’s case concluded there was no “indication” that the child was at risk.

Following Miss O’Connell’s conviction she was discharged from Ravenswood mental health unit in December 2003 and up until 2010 doctors believed she was “doing very well” despite suffering from schizo defective disorder.

But in a letter to the coroner her GP, Angela Wallace, stated that in January and May 2011 Miss O’Connell tried to kill herself by taking overdoses.

Referring to the attempt in January 2011 Dr Wallace wrote: “She said then she took the overdose over the guilt of killing her son and at the time she felt she had a difficult relationship with her surviving son.”

The court was also told that Miss O’Connell had a long history of mental health problems due to her troubled upbringing.

Her mother was killed in a car crash when she was three and she claimed she was abused by a family member between the ages of eight and 13.

She was put into care when she was 13 following the sudden death of her grandmother. A year later she took her first overdose and in December 1984, aged 14, she gave birth to Nathan. Four years later she had Jacob.

Coroner Gordon Densen concluded that Miss O’Connell took her own life by taking a drug overdose and that her phone call to Jacob the day before had “indicated her intentions”.