Okay, I’ll own up! It was me who crashed Ventura into the docks at Singapore.

I have no excuses, I was going too fast. It seemed slow enough, but before I knew it 115,000 tons of luxury cruise ship clanged into the quayside and then bounced back into the path of another passing vessel.

Luckily, with a flick of a switch, Ventura was restored to gleaming condition, not a dent in sight.

In a long-held dream, I’m the captain of a magnificent cruise ship, bringing her into Southampton docks after a long voyage. So the chance of fulfilling my ambition on one of the bridge simulators at CSMART was an opportunity not to be missed.

A virtual version of the port of Southampton was not quite ready on the simulator so Singapore harbour seemed a good alternative.

Surely this could not be too difficult, after all I had watched many captains bring their commands gently to a stop with just a press of this button, and a turn of that handle. Nothing to it!

However, it takes only a few minutes before all thoughts it’s only make believe are forgotten.

The concentration needed suddenly made it all feel extremely real. Everything was now talking at once; engine power needed to be reduced, thrusters had to be engaged, and where on earth was that tug, which only a few minutes before was bustling around the ship.

Sadly, it was at this moment that my grand idea of being a gold-braided captain sank without trace as I bashed, full tilt, into the dockside.

It had been a memorable experience and later in the day I was a little more successful at taking Crown Princess into Florida.

This is as close as it gets to reality, a boast fully underlined when the simulator suddenly switched to a stomach-churning, head-spinning, disorientating, force ten storm.