Dinner Offers A Course in Customer Service

The four of us received disappointing service from both the theatre and The Stiles pub. ‘Food served 6.00 - 7.00,’ said the sign at The Nuffield. Unfortunately when we tried to get some food, we were told it was busy night and only those who had pre-booked could eat. Not even bar snacks! Still, I accepted that they can’t cope with the extra business and, to be fair, their policy is pretty clear on their website.

Except for that sign outside the bar. My wife took this up with the House Manager who seemed to see no problem in advertising a service that didn’t exist. Lesson one: customers will forgive many things but not appearing to trick them. I’m not saying I never get it wrong but I do try, for example, to make sure that we only advertise items we have in stock, and we don’t say we’re open when we’re not.

So we went to a nearby pub called The Stiles. My wife saw Ham Egg and Chips on the menu and decided she fancied simply Egg and Chips. She asked the very nice young woman behind the bar whether she could substitute the ham for an extra egg. After consultation with the kitchen, the answer came back, ‘No, we can’t change the menu.’ Even though an egg would likely be cheaper than a piece of ham? No.

Since it’s not long ago that I saw a TV programme in which Gordon Ramsey, who you would imagine would explode if you suggested altering a dish on his menu, saying the customer is always right, you can only wonder what kind of gourmet meal this inviolable £3.99 ham, egg and chips must be. We didn’t find out. Instead we left and The Stiles lost four people’s meals and drinks. Lesson two: good customer service means flexibility. And, of course, whereas we might have become regular pre-theatre diners, we’ll never go there again. Lesson three: loyal customers may forgive a mistake but new customers never will. These days, choice and competition mean people can always go elsewhere.

Well, not always. I remember a few years ago, we were staying in the Everglades. We had no choice about dining because the next restaurant was half a day’s drive away. Lunch was awful, so we complained to the manager. ‘That meal was disgusting- could we book a table for four for tonight please.’

Back to The Nuffield where, to go with our cheese and onion crisps, we ordered some drinks. ‘What red wines have you got?’ ‘Merlot.’ I waited for more names to choose from but that was it. I love the Nuffield but they need to learn Lesson four: offer your customers choice whenever possible. I know Henry Ford famously said, ‘You can have any colour as long as it’s black’, but we’ve moved on since then. These days our consumer society means we expect choice.

Which brings me nicely to the play. It was about a couple from the baby boomer generation that expects to have whatever it wants. Love Love Love should have been funny and touching in its portrayal of a selfish couple who had every opportunity to climb the wealth ladder then kicked it away so their children were unable to do so well. Unfortunately the one dimensional characters and the consequent one note performances didn’t involve us at all.

It hasn’t put us off The Nuffield though, because our previous three visits were all great evenings of theatre. As I said in Lesson Three: loyal customers will forgive the odd mistake. And, since my business is far from perfect, I say, ‘Thank goodness for that.’

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